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I have had the same kind of experience.  People, family, claiming that they would be here for me, but when it was time to step up, where no where to be seen.

I was called over sensitive , I was called dramatic, I was called crazy.  I was called those things to shut me up.

Eventually, I did "shut up" by shutting them out.  NC. Has been my path to peace.  It's been over two years now, and it's been a difficult journey, but my soul is healing.

I am hyper vigilant about letting people get close to me, but once I weeded out the toxic people, I began to listen to my instincts and forge healthier relationships.  I spend a lot of time in therapy.  I have to be my own mother.

It's sad, really sad, when you can't count on the people you're supposed to trust, when they belittle your problems.  I'm sorry this happened to you.  You are not alone.  ((Hug))

Hi there,
  I've been NC with my FOO for over two years.  All that's left of that family is my raging ED/NM and her golden son, my NB. They are both cruel people, who have never been supportive.

Yet here I am, sick as a dog, and wanting to reach out to them.  I've got a herniated disc, I need surgery, and due to insurance reasons, I'm on a wait list for the procedure.  I've been disabled for eleven weeks, living on painkillers. 

I
Know this is just pain, and things could be so much worse.  It's just that I've been in so much pain for so long, that Imy resolve is getting weaker.

I'm wondering if my family knows (they do, someone contacted my brother), if NM really knows.  I know she must know, but some part of me has this fantasy that she doesn't yet.  That maybe seeing me suffer will stimulate some spark of sympathy, and she'll want to hold my hand and tell me I will be ok.  I'm tempted to reach out, to break the NC boundary I put up to protect my own three little ones.

(Possible trigger) I know NMs reaction to my condition is to say this is Gods way of punishing me for being such a * daughter (I'm not a * daughter) .  I know she's gloating. 

So please, if you're reading this, and if I'm making any sense, please talk me out of reaching out to NM & NB.  I'm so desperate for emotional support, and I'm trapped in a body that isn't working.

Thank you for your help.

Thank you for your replies.  I am crying, overwhelmed by your kindness. 

Hi.  I found this site after introducing myself on OOTF.  It was quickly pointed out to me that I likely have c-ptsd, which would make a lot of sense.  I have been diagnosed with PTSD multiple times over the past twenty years, as well as depression, panic attacks & severe attachment injury (thanks to my ED)

I am married to a recovering alcoholic.  We have three young children, one with Autism.  My little family is what I value most.

Currently, I am struggling with abandonment issues. 

  My FOO was rather disfunctional.  My father, deceased, was the victim of child abuse as well as a Vietnam veteran suffering from PTSD.  He was prone to frequent violent outbursts.  My ED/NM is a raging narcissist.  She is extremely manipulative and cruel.  She has had three husband, four step children, and two biological children.  Only one, her biological GC, still has a relationship with her.

  My NM and I became emeshed when I was expecting my first baby.  She had recently divorced her third husband, and she treated my pregnancy as if it was her own.  She disagreed with my parenting choices frequently after I became a mother. 

  By the time my first baby was 18 months old, I could no longer pretend that she was developing typically.  A year later, she was diagnosed with autism.  As time has gone on, I've become very accepting of my daughter, of her quirks, her uniqueness, her brilliance that shines underneath her frustrations.  She's a miracle to behold, at least in my eyes.  I don't see her as disabled, but different abled, as someone who just needs a little more support.

  My NM was very unaccepting of my daughter's condition, and of me.  She said horrible, cruel things about autism, one time screaming them in my face in front of my then three year old daughter.  That was the last time I talked to her.  I tried to reach out to my GCNB, but NM had already launched a smear campaign that left me stripped of my entire support network on her side of the family.

  It's been over two years since that incident.  My sweet daughter now has two younger brothers, and they have a beautiful sibling relationship.  My husband and I are trying to give them a happy home, filled with acceptance, love, awareness, forgiveness and mutual support. 

  I am still so haunted by my FOO.  It sickens me, as a mother, that my own mother could be so cruel.  That she could pit her children against each other, only being satisfied when all six were completely isolated and vulnerable.  That she could reject me, her first born child, her blood.  That she could reject my beautiful children, that my little family causes her shame and embarrassment.

  NM and GDNB treat us like we are freaks, I have actually been referred to as a freak.  My husband has a career, (the drinking problem started after the autism diagnosis, she didn't even witness that), and I had a career, which I can go back to when my kids are older.  We are far from perfect, but we are ok with that. 

  Unfortunately, we will never meet up to NM's ridiculously high standards.  The stress of trying to meet those standards and raise happy children was too much to bear, and I had to choose my children.  It's been over two years.

There are times, like today, when I really feel like an orphan.  I'm sick.  I have a herniated disc, and I can't take care of my children the way I'd like to.  It's hard to pick up my baby, it's hard to read books with them on my lap, it's scary to know I have to have surgery soon and that I have to be away from them sometime in the next week.  This is one of those days where I really wish I had a mommy to take care of me, because when I have the operation, my husband will be the one taking care of the kids.  I will be at the hospital alone.  I want someone who cares about me to be there holding my hand, and that will probably not happen.  Normally, I would ask my sister in law to help, but she was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.  She needs support right now too.
 
  I read once somewhere that a great mother provides a soft place for her children to land.  That really stuck with me, because I've never been given a safe place to fall.   Right now, I have fallen, and I have to pick myself up, because no one else is going to do it for me. But sometimes I think it would be nice, oh so nice, to have a gentle hand guiding me back onto my feet.  I vow to always be that gentle hand for my three.

  That's my story.  Thanks for reading.