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Messages - LittleBoyMe

#1
That seems a great solution for you.

Over the years I have found that the reason for the triggers happened in the most unnatural enviroment, however we get triggered by them in normal enviroments. For example, things used to happen to me in the toilet or bathroom. My house has one room with both the toilet and bath are situated. Everytime I need to go to this room I am violently triggered, but at some point I will need to visit this room. Both the bath and the toilet frighten me beyond reason. I have not had a bath for over 30 years, but the sight of one scares the * out of me, and of course, I need to use the the toilet. As  a young adult I developed a coping mechanism whereby I would inform people if I needed to use the toilet. That way, I would never hear footsteps approaching the toilet door. Its a little peace of mind
#2
General Discussion / Re: Hey, I'm New
March 23, 2017, 04:26:27 PM
Thank you woodsgnome. The one person who I looked for love, affection and protection was the person doing the abusing, so because of who it was, I had no one to run to or talk to. If it had been anyone other than her, I could have run to her for protection. Once I realised the abuse was going to be persistent I told myself that I was unlovable. Even as an adult I see me as a child saying 'please stop hurting me mummy'

Like you, I have serious issues with other humans especially authority figures. After 29 years of marriage, I will still pull away from my wife if she tries to touch me because as a big adult, I can runaway
#3
General Discussion / Re: Hey, I'm New
March 23, 2017, 01:28:20 PM
Thank you Three Roses. Do you know for many years I thought I was the only person this was happening to! It was once I had been diagnosed that the magnitude of the problem and how many others were trying to get through each day as I was and do. Selfishly, I was relieved to know there were others suffering as I was, to be able to speak to people who understand how it is and share experiences, coping mechanisms and therapy etc is wonderful.
#4
General Discussion / Hey, I'm New
March 23, 2017, 11:46:54 AM
Hello. I was diagnosed with CPTSD 23rd December 2015. The reason I have this is between the ages of 5 and 13, my adopted mother persistently tortured me. Thel trauma affected my education, relationship and impacted my adult life greatly. I am 51. I have had therapy which was very difficult for me as I had kept everything locked away from all people. I wanted to spare others their imagination. I am currently writing a book about my experiences as I was told it would be good for my healing and I must say it is helping although it is tough at times. The book will be made up of 3 parts, my childhood, my adulthood and my experience with seeking help and how it has affected me today. Thank you for allowing me this space.