So I have parents who both obviously have a personality disorder of some sort, with my father having an explosive temper despite never being physically violent and my mother being consistently emotionally abusive. I was also bullied in school for sexuality/gender issues, had a long string of abusive relationships, blah blah blah, that's not what I'm here to talk about, it's just background info.
Anyways, so I come to college and I end up making friends with a bunch of people in this social club, turns out their initiation process is literally just rote memorization and emotional abuse, and I leave. After I leave this person (my closest friend at the time) is mad about me leaving so she spreads some false info about me and I have no friends my freshman year of college,or really even acquaintances, I just kind of live in my room and have eating disorder/self harm/alcoholism issues. And did my school work. Got a decent grade at least.
So these people had to change their club initiation process because of a series of charges brought against them, and they ask me to come back (different people this time) claiming that the club has completely changed and long story short, it's just a watered-down version of the same thing. Except I decided not to leave, because they essentially ignored my resignation and for various reasons I decided to come back.
A new girl joined the club and was having the same problems I was having (minus the false accusations) and they had no problem treating her the same, even though she was suicidal and the club was very clearly bad for her.
After knowing she was going through the same thing I had been going through, I couldn't sleep anymore. I started having flashbacks and my nightmares became even more frequent. I failed one of my classes and my education could be ruined forever.
Is my reaction in any way rational?
Anyways, so I come to college and I end up making friends with a bunch of people in this social club, turns out their initiation process is literally just rote memorization and emotional abuse, and I leave. After I leave this person (my closest friend at the time) is mad about me leaving so she spreads some false info about me and I have no friends my freshman year of college,or really even acquaintances, I just kind of live in my room and have eating disorder/self harm/alcoholism issues. And did my school work. Got a decent grade at least.
So these people had to change their club initiation process because of a series of charges brought against them, and they ask me to come back (different people this time) claiming that the club has completely changed and long story short, it's just a watered-down version of the same thing. Except I decided not to leave, because they essentially ignored my resignation and for various reasons I decided to come back.
A new girl joined the club and was having the same problems I was having (minus the false accusations) and they had no problem treating her the same, even though she was suicidal and the club was very clearly bad for her.
After knowing she was going through the same thing I had been going through, I couldn't sleep anymore. I started having flashbacks and my nightmares became even more frequent. I failed one of my classes and my education could be ruined forever.
Is my reaction in any way rational?