I have read the guidelines, but I will add a trigger warning, here. Kizzie, please contact me and remove if you think this isn't appropriate or can cause friction.
I am in a bad place, as it is. A lot of grieving the severe abuse I received at the hands of my parents when I was little.
But I am so triggered by the camps set up at the border, in which young children are being forced to stay.
Is there a place, here, where this topic can be discussed?
Thank you,
LittleBoat
I'm no expert, Littleboat, but two thoughts come to mind: 1) take breaks from tv/radio/internet to go outside or do something physical. Being in nature always makes me feel better. 2) pay attention to the "helpers" -- people who are organizing events, raising money. It's a reminder that there is still compassion despite the trauma we are witnessing.
I am really struggling too LittleBoat and it's not only okay to talk about what's happening, we need to imo.
I just ask that we steer clear of the type of divisive political rhetoric that seems to be flooding the US since Trump took power, and stick to the reasons this is so morally wrong, cruel and inhumane and what it will lead to (Complex PTSD) for these children if the adults don't intervene.
I have to go out right now but will post a little later today or tomorrow about how deeply this has triggered me.
i'm with you on this. this latest atrocity has really gotten to me, into my gut, and it's been very difficult for me to understand, let alone go about my business without it affecting me. it's such a visceral thing for me - i truly can't believe this is being condoned, lied about, and bragged about as a good thing.
i'm married to a mex. man who is not allowed to cross the border, so this flight of people into the so-called 'promised land' has been close to my heart for ages. i've known and hung out with 'illegal immigrants', who, for the most part, worked here in order to send money back to their families still stuck in a terrible state of poverty.
that's just the financial end of these people hoping for a better life in the states. so many of them are coming from places south of mexico to escape hideous conditions, wanting to protect their children. this morning i saw a pic of one of the places where children are being kept. this whole thing is breaking my heart.
i think it's a really good idea that sadie has about taking a break from the media, and for years that's just what i've done. for some reason, tho, this one has got me by the hair and won't let go. i continue to see and read about what continues to happen to these families.
whatever happened to simply sending the people who are caught back across the border? it's not ideal, i wish i could help each and every one of them, but deportation seemed much more humane than what is going on now. this roils my gut, and i can't even express how much i'm appalled by it. i can't believe the madness that's taken over this country. it seems surreal, impossible for me to wrap my head around.
thanks for starting this. it helped a bit just to rant. that border, those fences, have been a source of heartache for me every time i'd travel across to visit my d, and my hub couldn't come with me by virtue of the fact that he was born where he was. he has a passport - he could travel to every other country in the world! but because he's mexican, he's not allowed to cross that stinkin' border without a special visa that costs over $700 to obtain.
i bless the caretakers who are doing their best for these children, and sympathize with the parents who simply want a better life for their families. this, what is happening, is not right.
Sadie, Thank you for, basically, giving me permission to let this go for a while, instead of feeling such urgency that it is all on my shoulders to DO SOMETHING, and that a if I don't, out of self-protection, I am still a good person.
sanmagic, I am so so sorry for how this is affecting you at such a personal level.
And Kizzie, thank you for reaching out so quickly and supporting the need to sort this out as best we can.
--LittleBoat
Hi, friends-
This situation at the border is also triggering me hugely. This comes at a time when my cousin is visiting and we are going to scatter the ashes of our dear Aunt who passed last year. So, family is on my mind. I have no blood relatives in this state with whom I am connected, and as an only child with both parents passed on I feel quite alone at times. These kids being forcefully separated from parents is such a visceral representation of abandonment and they surely will, as one of you mentioned, develop cptsd.
Such evil is so hard to witness. Sometimes, good comes from evil if enough people spring to life and make enough noise about what is happening. Let us hope that this new show of inhumanity can be wake up call for more folks and also pull the covers on the politicians who have been allowing things to get this far.
Change is possible.
I haven't been watching much about Trump for a while now because his N behaviour triggers me so much, but I did watch last night just to see how this was being received in the US and around the world. There's a LOT of push back and although Trump did double down again yesterday, I'm not sure he can sustain this cruel and inhumane policy as even his religious base is calling him out. Hopefully, GOP Senators and members of congress will be absolutely inundated with calls from their constituents because Nov is only 5 months away.
This brings up such fear in me that the world is not a safe place when a major democracy seems to be shifting towards something unthinkable. It should not be happening, just like those of us who were traumatized in childhood by parents who were supposed to keep us safe, love and protect us and didn't. It just isn't the way things are supposed to be and when that faith and trust is destroyed, how are we to react? Normal responses to abnormal circumstances. It has raised a lot of disgust in me along with such sadness and anger that these children are facing what no child should ever have to - feeling helpless, unsafe, heartbroken. and worthless, just like us.
I listened to an interview with General Michael Hayden last night and one thing (among many) he said really resonated - we cannot assume that all people will do the right thing (humane, moral, reasoned, kind ....), we must protect ourselves through the rule of law. I think he is absolutely correct and hopefully having seen the destruction caused by having a US president who is an N will highlight this in the US but other democracies as well.
I have posted some tweets on the OOTS twitter feed calling this out and suggesting that the trauma will last a lifetime unless the adults intervene and reunite these children with their parents. It's not much but it's something, as is talking openly here about this awful situation. I'm also going to email my Prime Minister and urge him to take a stand on this. Trump is po'd at him anyway over trade so pushing back against the bullying N more can't hurt :)
The situation referenced here has sadly become the socially approved norm for many, apparently. In what's said to be the 'real' world. :stars: :'( :stars:
Which puts a different flavour on things when I'm feeling out of the social norm, albeit in a different way, I guess. Who'd want to be part of the norm on display, in some instances by 'godly' people proud of what they think they're doing.
Sadly (again) there are apparently thousands who do consider that norm laudable and sane. Go figure--all that can be said is apparently these people have no scruples whatsoever; it's all about image, and the only hope is that they guessed wrong as to the image they wanted to project this time.
From a personal stance, I no longer have a problem explaining the sorts of adults I had to hang around with as a kid and beyond (I was going to say "grown up with" but I wasn't actually allowed that much)--all I need do is refer to the current dregs displaying their lack of scruples and it's all the explanation necessary, right down to the phony 'godly' parts that apparently their followers digest as part of their absurd hate games.
Just commenting to say I, too, am extremely triggered over this situation. As someone who was kidnapped as a young child and not reunited with my mother for several months, I am having horrible flashbacks and am grieving on behalf of all these children and the uphill battle of healing work they will need to do to recover from this if/when it is all over. Sending love to them, and to others on this board who are feeling the same pain I feel over this. I am glad to say that I see many of my friends, coworkers, and community members stepping up to make noise about this issue, as it's hard for me to overcome those feelings of powerlessness and DO something right now. I look forward to assisting with those efforts once I've had a moment to process my triggers and build myself back up a bit. For now, I'm avoiding the headlines until my mind is in a slightly better place.
thankfully, i just saw an article where trump signed something saying that those children should no longer be separated from their parents. thank you, god.
as for all the rest of it, it's difficult for me to live in this country, be an american, and almost feel shame that i am one. how i'm looked at by others outside this country, even tho i don't support what this gov't is doing. still, we're painted with a broad brush by other countries, and what's been happening here has been disgusting.
the u.s. had to leave another association that has to do with human rights because of gov't policies. that's simply unthinkable to me. leaving the environmental meetings with the g7 early seems so irresponsible i want to scream. i want to go live in my new home, in a tourist town where everyone goes to be on vacation from the rest of the world, and hide away from it. the madness has become deafening.
i've lived thru many presidents, and i've never seen or heard of anything like this before. yes, the world feels completely unsafe to me now, and i don't really know how to deal with that. as a senior citizen, the threat of taking our soc. security away looms overhead every day. there is no net below us anymore. we're falling down the rabbit hole. i stay away from the news as much as possible, but these long-term possibilities are more real than ever before at the time of my life when i'm back to being extremely vulnerable.
this is not right.
Even people without CPTSD are deeply troubled by what's been happening so it's no surprise we are. It's normal human instinct to react when we see/hear children cry. Survivors of CPTSD are sensitive for good reason. I think we'll be learning more about what's been happening in these detention centers -- like drugging the kids with psychotropics in one facility! -- so we need to take care of ourselves. As the saying goes, "you can't give what you don't have." In order to be a good citizen in whatever way we choose to, we need to continue to take care of ourselves when triggered. Maintain routines, self-care, talking to sympathetic people, finding ways to help with donations or calling our representatives. I've been in a kind of stupor over the last few days -- trauma is very compelling. But we have to pull ourselves back out.
After I heard the news that Trump had rescinded the policy I slept for three hours and honestly could sleep longer. I don't know things will be much better though until it becomes clear how they and their families will be dealt with from this point on. The President and his minions simply cannot be trusted to do the right thing. This was not the law, it was a choice, an inhumane one that only people who have no moral compass or shame can make.
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
i just read an article about the children having meds forced on them, were injected if they refused to take them orally, or were threatened with longer detainment if they refused. * is wrong with these people? i got sick reading about this - they said the meds were given to counter the effects of the trauma.
psychotropics, anti-anxiety, 9 at a time in the morning, 5 more at nite - inhumane is right, kizzie. and beyond. this is beyond my comprehension. did they think these were throw-away children cuz they came from another country? my heart and soul, this is beyond reprehensible.
i wish sometimes i was a much shallower person and didn't care so much. and the u.s. talks about atrocities in other countries with such disdain, when it happens here all the time. blecccch!
Hey Littleboat, just wondering how you are doing with this whole situation now?
-- TW --
San,
Kids were forced to take *psychotropics*?!
I feel physically sick... yes, "throw-away children" seems to fit. :blink:
Ain't that exactly what all abusers see when they hurt a living being, eh? That we're all throw-away people the moment we're inconvenient?
I bet it hurts you like it hurts me right now but for what it's worth, I'm grateful you're not a much shallower person.
thanks, ah. this has been the most terrible news i think i've ever read. i'm now blocking all news. can't take it anymore. i don't care if the world blows up, it's all crapola to me. i've had it.
Quote from: Kizzie on June 21, 2018, 04:24:29 PM
Hey Littleboat, just wondering how you are doing with this whole situation now?
Hi Kizzie, Thank you for checking in. I am not doing well. I am already going through deep grief and flashing back about how abandoned I was as a child. A lot of sobbing. A lot of isolating. My psychiatrist tells me that I'm in an emotional flashback. It's like a walking trance. And the therapeutic inner work involved is exhausting right now. (I am using the Pete Walker protocol and doing the best I can.) That this heinous national situation, and the secrecy/vagueness surrounding it, is still a trigger. What happened to me was done secretly and vaguely, so nobody could point to anything and say, THERE! Stop it! The vagueness also left me in a constant state of confusion and self-blame. Bringing in the "law and order" rhetoric, along with Bible quotes also creates crazy thinking. Turns everything on its head. And that such rhetoric is so calculated to mess with the heads of the citizenry, well I just fear for large-scale checking out (from sheer exhaustion) and falling into a mass stupor. So, that's my answer to your question, Kizzie. I follow you on Twitter. You give me such hope for speaking out. And I admire you so much for somehow holding it together, despite triggering, to do your good works. Would you be willing to private message with me? Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear you're really struggling LIttleBoat, I am too :hug: Feel free to PM me.
I honestly have no idea how to get my feet back on more solid ground other than to turn off the TV again as I had been doing for a month or so (I ended up feeling better). It is all just insane and awful and I just can't follow it so closely anymore. What I will do is continue to tweet - I have a numerous articles about children and trauma I can send out and hope others retweet.
What gives me some hope is that there are tons of organizations and people weighing in on this, some working directly with the children and others pushing back hard against the Trump administration. I hope the backlash will continue and has real effect In Nov.
Thanks for tweeting Kizzie and disseminating information that way at a time that is triggering for you too, I think - -with the N ways of Trump.
I'm sorry to hear of so many on this thread struggling and in EFs. I'm thankfully not. i once read no news for the best part of a year after I started getting near panic attacks from doing so. It was a good decision, good for self-protection. And even now I read on here about the psychotropics and something in me refuses to take on this information on an emotional level. I'm blocking it automatically, I'm not taking it on. You could say I'm hard-hearted I guess, but I'm doing it out of self-preservation. There are other situations in daily life where I don't manage to block automatically, where the EF takes over. I guess in this case there was thankfully something missing in the abuse done to me so that I'm not triggered (anymore) by world news? :hug: :hug: :hug: to those who are struggling atm.
I've been feeling devastated all week too. Those poor kids, they have no voice to stand up for themselves and I think that's what makes it hardest. Earlier in the week, I donated to an organization that's been raising money (there's a kickstarter for reuniting kids with their families that has currently raised 20 million dollars for the organization RAICES :cheer:) and I used RESISTBOT to text my representatives and at least try and give a voice to the voiceless.
But the world does feel different since the news broke...if it was even possible, everything feels darker, more sinister, like people who support Trump's policy are lurking around every corner. Just a fundamental blanket of unsafety. I was wondering what was wrong with me the past two days - a lot of crying spells on the couch and fear of my surroundings. Now it makes more sense - this situation is probably STILL affecting me and I may still be experiencing EF's.
I have a goal to attend a protest in my area next week to keep taking action. I know I have to be careful because my anxiety goes through the roof in large crowds, and that combined with an EF would be way too overwhelming. But if I can manage, I know it would make me feel better to be surrounded by people who care.
I hope everyone else currently dealing with this is managing, too.