I haven't gotten through all CPTSD reading I have to do but I wanted to put this out there. I'm plagued by nightmares. Not often and the timing is sometimes odd.
This weeks visit with uPD mum (I'm LC MC) went well yet I had a nightmare last night of epic proportions. In my nightmare mum was driving far too fast through my current location. I was in deep fear for my life. I was trying to scream no and stop but could only manage a nearly mute whisper of the words.
When the car slowed enough for me to jump out I did so and found myself running through back ally's and businesses of my home town where I grew up. She wasn't far behind on foot and still all I could manage was a muted whisper 'no' over and over. She tried to get the police and the tax man after me but they dismissed her.
Finally I made it through one building and out the back door and she was there waiting, outsmarted me, telling me I couldn't get away. And then I woke up still whispering a muted no but in my final waking breath I screamed out loud NO.
12 hours later I'm still shook up from the nightmare and I know what it's all about but I so wish the nightmares would stop.
Years ago I went for a sleep study because I would wake in the middle of the night choking. I thought perhaps I had sleep apnea but the test results came back with absolutely no physical reason for me to wake up choking. And I know what that was about two because every time I feel suffocated I wake up choking.
So I'm not sure if nightmares is a symptom or not but I suspect it is and welcome any comments or insights you might have.
Hi Butterfly, I'm new to this board (but not the ravages of c-pstd). I get those kind of nightmares rarely, but when they come they can feel genuinely life-threatening, and the aftereffects linger for days.
Even for good ole normal neuroses, dreams play a huge part in helping us understand our own subconscious. I believe people like us are always processing, always trying to escape, or come to terms, or prove ourselves or self-punish again and again. In real life we have separated (or at least seen the need to), but sometimes our unguarded brains still get caught up in the drama.
When I was a toddler, I had pretty constant falling dreams...and then frequently fell out of bed hurting myself. The doctor came often. Now my nightmares are all variations on the same theme -- and they paralyze me with horror and shame. Talk about it. Remind yourself that thoughts are not facts. And above all, see them for what they really are: the last vestiges of how you were trained to think about yourself...and how you fought back.
Coda your last few words are choking me up. Thank you for your kind understanding.
Falling dreams sound pretty scary. Wishing you well.
Hi Coda and welcome to OOTS - glad you found your way here. When you're ready, perhaps you can post a bit about your situation in the Intro forum.
Sorry to hear about your nightmares Butterfly and Coda, they are one of the three main symptoms of PTSD which those of us with CPTSD can also suffer from. I don't have nightmares very often, but when I do they are usually of the variety where I can't make a sound, I try but I can't and they stay with me long after I wake up.
Butterfly, I don't think I've ever had one as clearly related to my trauma as yours though. I wonder if coming here has brought the trauma to the surface a little more so that even a visit with your M that went well was triggering. Have your nightmares always been this clear? I know it upset you deeply but is it possible that it means you are becoming stronger and more willing to look into those dark corners where the trauma and fear hide?
Coda, I think you're absolutely right about making sure we talk about our nightmares, bring them into the light of day and maybe take some of the power out of them. Recovery is so much about working through the trauma rather than going around it.
Wishing you both wonderful dreams tonight {{Hugs}}
Thank you for the welcome, Kizzie...and for creating this remarkable site. It may take me a while to open up, but please know just how vital and timely it is for me.
Butterfly, these dreams are coins of the realm. We may change addresses, but unconscious we can still inhabit old haunts. And I agree with Kizzie, yours was remarkably iconic. But however imperfectly we try to flee, the fleeing is what counts. You make shake remembering, but never forget there always was and forever will be a big part of you that knew you needed to escape. That's the sweet take away - your innate fear that signaled awareness, and your courage in the face of overwhelming circumstances.
Butterfly, nightmares are a hallmark symptom for PTSD.
I think I masked many of my CPTSD symptoms for a long time because of the meds that I've been on. The one is seroquel, which is an atypical anti-psychotic but it is often prescribed as a sleep aid. It is non addictive (as opposed to restoril). For me, I believe it keeps the nightmares away.
I know you have med restrictions now, so it might not be the best choice for you. I'm not sure of CPTSD, but nightmares are very much a HUGE part of PTSD, as are insomnia and sleep disturbances.
I am sorry you have to deal with them. Seroquel keeps most of the nightmares away for me, but then again I wonder about it masking the nightmares, and therefore, the healing. Doesn't matter much, I've no interest in going off of it.
Quote from: Kizzie on September 11, 2014, 01:19:51 AM
Butterfly, I don't think I've ever had one as clearly related to my trauma as yours though. I wonder if coming here has brought the trauma to the surface a little more so that even a visit with your M that went well was triggering. Have your nightmares always been this clear? I know it upset you deeply but is it possible that it means you are becoming stronger and more willing to look into those dark corners where the trauma and fear hide?
Maybe so, definitely something to consider. When I was young my recurring dream was trying to run and I was running but couldn't round the corner and I'd pull on the side of the building but I couldn't round the corner. I've never directly connected these vivid nightmares to my trauma until a few years ago. My other recurring dream of choking and this from my youth I now understand more fully thanks to recovery.
Since OOTF my dreams are more vivid, more directly connected and varied rather than recurrent. So quite likely I'm more directly addressing the specifics of present trauma and digging into the dark corners and recesses. This site and the book are helping but it's painful and difficult for me to be in touch with feelings. I'm not used to feeling.
Emotion Overload, I can take restoril whenever needed but fear addiction so try to limit to 2-3 times a week. Plus it leaves me sleepy until noon the following day.
I've had nightmares my whole life so I actually thought it was normal, lol, I thought that everyone did. What you describe has that element of desperate fear and attempt to save yourself--I can relate to that.
Over the yrs I have different themes to them. As a teenager, I was murdered a lot. In my 20s I had a lot of "being trapped" dreams where I was surrounded by "bad guys". In my 30s the police and Mafia were always out to get me, lol. Last month I dreampt of being crushed by a dumpster in an alley, being bombed by drones that were only 30 ft overhead, and being hit in my forehead with a metal pipe very hard so I died. Fun stuff. And another theme I have a lot is I have to pee, so I go into a public bathroom. But every stall is either taken, too filthy, broken, has no door on it, or is even missing the toilet! So I have nowhere to "relieve myself." (That's my interpretation--I have no where to put my psychological crap. Or that I am still full of it and need to unburden myself :) )
Butterfly, I think the positive part of your nightmare is you are actively moving and trying to shout. You aren't staying still. :)
Pam, wow, what vivid nightmares!
Wow you're right with the change in the dream from years ago and now!! I'm mobile! I'm actually running and vocal even if just a whisper. I'm going to cry tears of joy at this insight. This is an amazing breakthrough! Thank you!
I've had vivid nightmares all my life, like many of you. Pam, it's interesting that yours are themed - mine have been too. As a teenager I dreamed a lot about getting murdered, too. One of my most vivid dreams from that time is still with me, I can still see the imagery more clearly than a lot of my own memories.
The worst of them can leave me feeling deeply disoriented and unsure of whether I'm awake or dreaming, and feeling very detached/dissociated all day after.
The worst is a recurrent dream of the same theme. In the dream, I was in bed asleep in the exact room I happened to be in. I'd wake up suddenly, feel like something was wrong, get up and go to the bathroom or reach out for my light, and the lights wouldn't come on. I'd start flicking the switch frantically because I knew something was wrong, something just outside of my field of vision...and then I'd wake up, suddenly, and think "what a strange dream" and get out of bed, go to the bathroom or try to turn on the light, the lights wouldn't come on.... You get the picture. Over time of having these dreams, I'd learn what was just out of sight was a man in the hall about to come in and choke me. I never saw him. I finally learned to wake myself up from these dreams, but I still have a variation of them sometimes.
The dreams always feature a man who will kill me, who is in no hurry, who isn't scared of me finding him or confronting him. He will always kill me by choking me. I have never seen him but I have come close to seeing him, and I know what he's there for. It's horrible.
Have any of your dreams faded as you've gotten older or, for those of you going through therapy for C/PTSD do they get better as you work through this stuff?
Quote from: rtfm on September 14, 2014, 03:48:50 AM
The dreams always feature a man who will kill me, who is in no hurry, who isn't scared of me finding him or confronting him. He will always kill me by choking me. I have never seen him but I have come close to seeing him, and I know what he's there for. It's horrible.
oh rtfm! I had only one almost exactly dream like this, a few years ago, not long after I went NC. It's still vivid, and still makes me shiver. My murderer was a young drifter serial killer who'd wandered in with his followers who looked as he slowly, methodically stabbed me in bed. They didn't know me or care, they were all lethally calm, amused, curious, weirdly detached. I fought until I realized there was no escape, no hope. Waking up hardly helped.
But I do have frequent recurrent nightmares on the theme of "forgetting" (for lack of a better word). In them, I suddenly remember that I have left a beloved pet, even a baby, alone in my old first apartment...for month or years. I've forgotten to feed them, water them, care for them for weeks, months, even years. I rush there, heart thumping, racked with fear and indescribable guilt. They are always alive, but just barely. Enough to hold, to say goodbye. All I can think is "I've done this, me, and there's no excuse." I should die too.
I know the standard interpretation of dreams is that everyone in them is some aspect of yourself. And that makes some sense given my history. But 'standard' doesn't always apply when you were weaned on the premise that your parent's well-being (read: survival) was your responsibility.
These are chronic stressors, made worse somehow by being self-generated. As if we have a choice. But they're clues too, I don't doubt that. I hold fast to the idea that they are telling and teaching, and most of all not true. Thoughts will not kill me. I used to think my mother wanted to, but I'm still here.
Quote from: Butterfly on September 13, 2014, 06:14:40 PM
Pam, wow, what vivid nightmares!
Wow you're right with the change in the dream from years ago and now!! I'm mobile! I'm actually running and vocal even if just a whisper. I'm going to cry tears of joy at this insight. This is an amazing breakthrough! Thank you!
;D I'm glad!
Quote from: coda on September 14, 2014, 01:52:37 PM
Quote from: rtfm on September 14, 2014, 03:48:50 AM
The dreams always feature a man who will kill me, who is in no hurry, who isn't scared of me finding him or confronting him. He will always kill me by choking me. I have never seen him but I have come close to seeing him, and I know what he's there for. It's horrible.
oh rtfm! I had only one almost exactly dream like this, a few years ago, not long after I went NC. It's still vivid, and still makes me shiver. My murderer was a young drifter serial killer who'd wandered in with his followers who looked as he slowly, methodically stabbed me in bed. They didn't know me or care, they were all lethally calm, amused, curious, weirdly detached. I fought until I realized there was no escape, no hope. Waking up hardly helped.
But I do have frequent recurrent nightmares on the theme of "forgetting" (for lack of a better word). In them, I suddenly remember that I have left a beloved pet, even a baby, alone in my old first apartment...for month or years. I've forgotten to feed them, water them, care for them for weeks, months, even years. I rush there, heart thumping, racked with fear and indescribable guilt. They are always alive, but just barely. Enough to hold, to say goodbye. All I can think is "I've done this, me, and there's no excuse." I should die too.
I know the standard interpretation of dreams is that everyone in them is some aspect of yourself. And that makes some sense given my history. But 'standard' doesn't always apply when you were weaned on the premise that your parent's well-being (read: survival) was your responsibility.
These are chronic stressors, made worse somehow by being self-generated. As if we have a choice. But they're clues too, I don't doubt that. I hold fast to the idea that they are telling and teaching, and most of all not true. Thoughts will not kill me. I used to think my mother wanted to, but I'm still here.
Another theme I have had that's related to forgetting is I'm going to the final exam at a college, yet guess what? I haven't been to any of the classes all semester! So guarateed to fail.
I couldn't help think of inner children you might have inside you (or points where you may have gotten stuck?) when you mention how you kind of left them behind in an old apt and how they are younger!
More recently I dream of being attacked by a wild animal--bear, lion, moose. But sometimes I dream about saving children from a lion. One of my favorite dreams was I saved a whole busload of kids from a hijacker, lol. :D
Quote from: pam on September 13, 2014, 05:32:58 PM
And another theme I have a lot is I have to pee, so I go into a public bathroom. But every stall is either taken, too filthy, broken, has no door on it, or is even missing the toilet! So I have nowhere to "relieve myself." (That's my interpretation--I have no where to put my psychological crap. Or that I am still full of it and need to unburden myself :)
OMG, I have this same dream all the time! Great interpretation too ;D
i know this is waaayyy out there...but some of the dreams You are having sound to me like reincarnation dreams. getting murdered? That one for sure!
To me reincarnation dreams are MORE VIVID. sometimes if you look around in them dreams you will see that the clothing etc. is period instead of what we wear today.
Quote from: Kizzie on September 14, 2014, 07:10:10 PM
Quote from: pam on September 13, 2014, 05:32:58 PM
And another theme I have a lot is I have to pee, so I go into a public bathroom. But every stall is either taken, too filthy, broken, has no door on it, or is even missing the toilet! So I have nowhere to "relieve myself." (That's my interpretation--I have no where to put my psychological crap. Or that I am still full of it and need to unburden myself :)
OMG, I have this same dream all the time! Great interpretation too ;D
Wow! I am happy to see I'm not the only one. Maybe we have something specific in common. :D
Quote from: Badmemories on September 16, 2014, 08:53:43 PM
i know this is waaayyy out there...but some of the dreams You are having sound to me like reincarnation dreams. getting murdered? That one for sure!
To me reincarnation dreams are MORE VIVID. sometimes if you look around in them dreams you will see that the clothing etc. is period instead of what we wear today.
This made me remember one i had where it was in the 1800s (dress I was wearing was Victorian). I was going to take a bath in a claw footed tub, but a nurse (my mother was a nurse) came in and whispered to me that my father was going to come in and try to drown me. So since i was prepared, when he came, I ran up behind him and we were fighting at the top of some spiral stairs and I somehow flipped him over the railing. Oh....I see now, that was also one of the worst things he did--tried to throw me down the stairs when I was 17. I had this dream in my early 20s.
Anyway, yeah that one was definitely from Victorian times. Ohhhh, and I believe I've had "future" dreams too...unfortunately they are about global catastrophes. :-[
(((grouphug)))
Nightmares are such a horrible part of CPTSD. Rob us of the little sleep we get.
I used to have lots of nightmares - some of them repeatedly (my bed stepped over a railing and I fell towards a black and white checkered floor was one of the earliest ones; woke me up every time) and others partial reenactments of events and/or conversations I've had or witnessed. Until I read this thread I didn't know they were called 'themed nightmares' but I had those, too. Mine were about me giving birth alone in tunnels while everyone of my travelling group was moving on without me (??!???). I used to have those a lot in adolescence.
My worst recurring nightmare took place in what I called my nightmare house: It was a house which I knew well and I was terrified of it, yet I knew for a fact that it didn't exist IRL. My DH read C.G. Jung's theory on dreams. It was something along the lines that the elements of dreams represent a period in your life. When I analyzed my nightmare house, I realized that I knew it so well because it was composed of elements of my grandma's house, my best friend's house and our local church building - the three of them together were part of my life between 8 and 10 years old. That information was very helpful to me. I haven't done a lot of IC work, but what I've done was focused on the child me at that age - the tortured little soul that tried so hard and was unwanted and unloved.
At that time, I was also in T for PTSD, so I don't know whether it was the Jung way of analyzing dreams or T or the combination thereof - but my nightmares have all but stopped and for more than a decade now. I still have one occasionally but they are few and far between - nothing like the ones I used to get that almost made me afraid to fall asleep.
The nightmare that I get the most is falling off of a cliff. I aways wake -up before I fall. (I hate to even say it isn't that a classic one?
The other One I get is I am looking at MY body and flying around in the sky. It is like I am really concentrating on learning how to fly. I am excited to be flying. I feel so free.
I don't remember many dreams. I try to sometimes. I should write them down when I wake up but I don't.
The last memorable dream I had was in San Francisco in a earthquake. I was in a downtown area trying to get away. I was with the children's father. (he was a psycho) he would not listen to me when I was telling him where we should go!
Ugh. I'm getting so that I dread sleep. Another epic nightmare. This time same driving fast and talking to front seat passenger who is a friend of *mine* but sitting in the front seat with uPDm while enF is in back seat with me curled up in his typically withdrawn trauma induced very closed body language. So uPDm starts whispering to my friend about me and I confronted the behavior. She started to deny it, launched into a verbal tirade and starts to physically beat my arm. I started to scream "you're hurting me" when I woke up in tears and cried for sometime after, but unable to get past this even hours later.
Although I still went about my day and had nice social contact at church, my head hurts and I'm wondering if I might not be able to do this without professional help. There's a PTSD psychologist I found in my area, she's in my health insurance plan, I don't know maybe I'll give a call tomorrow. I called today just to listen to her outgoing message on her voice is nice and her picture appears like she's someone I might be able to work with but I don't know.
I'm still reading Pete Walker's book and also bought "safe people" by Cloud and Townsend. In Walker's book was reading how people with freeze response (me) feel so much more comfortable behind a computer screen with online help. That's so me. I'd so much rather do this with the books in privacy. But I feel so isolated from having anyone but my husband to talk to and the kind people here. I'm just not sure it's going to be enough.
Right now my heart physically aches in pain and I'm still in tears. Not good.
I don't even know what to say. I can only think of things in my own dialect, which isn't going to help, obviously. But I'm sad to hear that you're in so much emotional pain, and I wish there was something I could do to help. I'll be thinking of you and sending good wishes your way, Butterfly. Hang in there. It's an emotional flashback. That means it will pass. You'll emerge out of it and it will be over. It doesn't seem like that right now, but it's still true. This doesn't last forever.
Kudos to you for trying to contact this therapist - that's more than I manage if my own flashbacks get bad.
I'll be thinking of you, and I hope that life will be gentle to you. I hope you have warmth and a safe place where you can grieve in peace - what you said about your dream and your reaction to it, it all sounds like long overdue shock and grief at something very real that happened to you. And I guess that, back then, you weren't safe enough to grieve properly.
:hug:
You guys are the best. The absolute best. Happy tears rolling down my cheeks.
We ALL LOVE Happy Tears, Butterfly!! :bighug:
And, all kinds of tears, really. You will be just fine. Hard Journey, but you have friends on the way.
I know from my cptsd ex how awful these nightmares can be, so I feel for all of you.
She was constantly plagued by nightmares involving rape, her bad foo boundaries, her ex husband, and her mother, who was the principal cause of her cptsd, imo.
She never bothered to wonder why she had these recurring dreams and never sought any help as far as I know. We were together for 18+ years and they were a weekly event.
Since she has so trashed me in order to justify her leaving, I can only wonder if she has nightmares about me. Can't say since she is nc.
Here's one I have that I don't understand: I am in college and it is near the end of the semester. I am myself, not a young kid, so I am there for fun, however, I am apparently enrolled in 3-4 classes, but only attend 2. Now I start to worry about the finals in those classes I am not going to. It seems have done this for several semesters in a row.
Any thoughts?
Blue!
I'm so sorry for and about your loss of your ex-
That had to be hard with her weekly nightmares. Seems like you took the "richer or poorer" part of the vows to heart. oh sigh.
:hug:
Seems like you took the "richer or poorer" part of the vows to heart.
Thanks for noticing, rain. Hugs back. I viewed my r/s issues as typical. The usual frustrations of two people living together. It was only the last year where she went off the rails. I was willing to hang in there, but I didn't even have a say in the breakup.
Anyway, nightmares are fully loaded w shhh. No wonder why interpreting them is a full time job for some people!
I can't interpret dreams, but I read something someplace about how it's helpful to ask oneself, "the kind of feeling I had in my dream - when did I have that in real life?" and go from there. Not sure if that works, I hardly ever dream.
I have recurring university dreams too Blue, and other versions of it (wandering around an apartment building or hotel and can't remember where my room is; not having enough bus money or knowing the right bus to take; trying to get somwhere by car and going in circles). The underlying feeling seems to be one of anxiety about not being prepared for something I should have been prepared for.
Mine seem to be all the time pretty much so not related to external stress from what I can see BH. Hopefully for all of us the bad dreams will make way for some peaceful nights and better dreams as we recover. :zzz:
I agree w the anxiety part. Can't say about what though, at the time I had these dreams. I'll try to pay attention next time. Self-sabotage, as I sign up for more classes than I can apparently handle, or lose interest in?
To answer your questions, behealthy,
1. I attended only one undergraduate univ.
2. It was a safe place. I lived off campus and took care of myself.
3. Certainly feel unprepared for her total change of personality and the unanticipated single life, but before that, I had a plan and felt in control. Very positive about myself, future, and her.
How about too much studying about her/mental health issues to digest in one semester???
Unvarnished form vs. so obscure the dreamer doesn't even know. :doh:
I have pretty weird dreams at time. The last one I had that was weird was...I was in a huge mansion. I was in a huge dressing room I was going through the drawers and finding all kinds of beautiful jewelry. Antique jewelry that I've never seen in My life. I was noting that I'd like to have them but I put everything back in place. Then I went downstairs of this big mansion, and went to a ballroom like setting. I noticed 3 old women sitting at a big round table, I noticed a bandstand that was 3 stories high. I went into the kitchen and was looking at it and saying that all the warmers were setup with steam. I then went downstairs and saw beautiful turquoise dishes that were packed with newspaper. Someone was repairing the basement window that was cut glass. I also saw beautiful dishes that were bright yellow and black striped, like the art deco period. Then I woke up. I was shook up and just sat and thought for quit awhile afterwards. I felt like I was a caretaker of some sort to the property.
???
Do you think that could be about your recovery? You don't quite feel like the owner of this house yet, but you're the caretaker and so you've got a right to be there. It's full of beautiful things, some of which are broken, but they're being mended. You don't yet feel like you're entitled to just take the things, but you get to look at them and you get to touch them, and you know they're there. And it's a mansion, not a chickenshed. I don't know, maybe it's about something else, but it would make a very beautiful metaphor for recovery.
Hey that is great! I love it... see it is so much easier sometimes for someone else to hear/see it! I thought it was so weird that i didn't want to even write it! Thank You for Your insight!
Really neat stuff all the dreams and meanings.
So I asked the therapist at our first appointment why after a year of setting boundaries and standing up for myself are nightmares escalating? Because it would make more sense to me in the beginning when it was scarier I'd have had more dreams then, so why now?
She said its my conditioned response. Growing up and in adulthood there were ramifications to not doing as others pleased, there was a price to pay for making my own choices and having my own feelings. She said my subconscious is still waiting for the punishment.
So my work is to practice deep breathing daily even when not in EF mode to slow the heart rate and train my body how to do this always. Also, mindfulness and grounding, saying to myself when I wake from a nightmare 'where am I really and what is going on' so my brain quickly realizes I'm safe in bed and not in danger.
Last night I tried going med free and it wasn't the most restful sleep but I didn't have nightmare. Every time I woke I practiced deep breathing and grounding, even running my hand around the sheets.
Quote from: Butterfly on October 22, 2014, 11:00:04 AMSo my work is to practice deep breathing daily even when not in EF mode to slow the heart rate and train my body how to do this always. Also, mindfulness and grounding... .
Thanks for sharing that, it sounds like a really useful way of making oneself less antsy. And this "waiting for punishment"... do you know, I've always wondered why I sometimes feel so depressed plus alarmed, have no motivation to do anything, and do a lot of safety-seeking things. :doh: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of
course.
So glad it helped you, that tip alone for me was worth the effort to go and the fact that it was also good for you guys makes is all the more valuable a session to me!
So far two nights no nightmares, when I've woken I've tried very deep slow breathing, feeling the sheets, even laying on my stomach to get the most "feel" of where I am. I picked two phrases to remind me of my current freedom and peace, they're scripture but she said to pick anything as a personal mantra on freedom.
I've actually done this throughout the day whenever I think of it and wherever I am, just a few long slow deep breaths and thinking of peace and it really helps me through the day too.
Glad to hear about your nightmare-free nights!
So this is essentially a way to ground yourself in the here and now? It sounds interesting. Maybe I'll give it a try. After all, if EFs keep on de-grounding me and flinging me back into the past, it would make sense to pull myself the other way regularly. Like building a muscle.
@ S Cat...
I am a pretty honest person and during the dream I wanted to take some of the jewelry... but Of course My morals even wouldn't let me take it even in MY dreams! Next time I have a dream about this house I am going to steal all the pretty things I can... Maybe My healing will go faster! ;D ;D
Keep on Keeping On!
Yes she said like retraining the body and spirit to respond as I wish instead of what I've been trained.
I started doing that, too, and it's helping. So thanks again for sharing this. :wave:
Just wanted to pop back into this post with a quick update. The other day I woke up fine but shortly afterwards started processing some thoughts and the tears started. But the good thing is maybe I'm moving toward processing in the conscious rather than the subconscious since I hadn't had a nightmare but it was a conscious thoughtful process.
The other thing is the past few days I had quite funny dreams, the kind of dreams that make you wake up giggling. So I started to write these down so I remember and can smile rather than be fearful of sleeping.
Quote from: Butterfly on November 03, 2014, 12:00:04 PM
Just wanted to pop back into this post with a quick update. The other day I woke up fine but shortly afterwards started processing some thoughts and the tears started. But the good thing is maybe I'm moving toward processing in the conscious rather than the subconscious since I hadn't had a nightmare but it was a conscious thoughtful process.
The other thing is the past few days I had quite funny dreams, the kind of dreams that make you wake up giggling. So I started to write these down so I remember and can smile rather than be fearful of sleeping.
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
That is so great, Butterfly! Wonderful idea to write down the fun dreams ;D.
I am so glad you are no longer fearful of sleeping! That makes just all the difference, doesn't it?
Of course I am no expert but I really do believe that dealing with your issues while conscious reduces the nightmares because your subconscious doesn't have to pick up the pieces any more (so funny that your subconscious is now providing your with light and bubbly dreams instead :thumbup:).
Here's to many more nice dreams!
:party:
I'm still taking the sleep meds though because I need to get in my feet physically and can't take the change right now of falling to pieces again. Just now starting to feel bit better but the monitoring I have to do is ridiculous. Hey whatever it takes, right?
Ack. Another nightmare but again I was vocal whisper screaming 'you have no right' and I have a question about EMF - electromagnetic fields. Creating another post maybe.
Hi Butterfly, have you considered hypnosis with a clinical professional? Sorry about your nightmares! :hug:
The nightmare so directly connected to my abuse issue there's no mistaking what they're about. Hypnosis probably isn't going to help me but I like the other suggestions you have in the other thread. Thank you so much.