Hi, I recently had a meeting with a really bad psychiatrist and I wanna know if you guys have ever had a bad psychiatrist. So, the thing is I was really freaked out, because I usually use grounding techniques to set me free of my dissociation, but I had a strong argument with my parents and I started feeling that I couldn't set me free anymore, and I was afraid that I would be stuck like this the rest of my life (I still can't do it). So, this was the first time that I saw this psychiatrist and it turned out he was a friend of my dad but I didn't know it yet... so I came to his office, and talked to him, and he looked really calm, and I told him that I have been having trouble with my parents and that I didn't want to live with them anymore but I hadn't money and I needed their money to go to college and I didn't know what to do... so... when I finished he told me that he wanted to talk to my parents and I said: "I would rather go out", and he yelled at me and said: "NO!", and I was like: what the *? D: . So my parents entered the room and I was like: "sorry if I said something that had bothered you" and he said: "SIT DOWN" and I was like: "No, why would I sit down? I don't want to be in this room anymore. I'm an adult now, you can't give me orders? Who the * do you think you are?" So I started walking to the door and they litterally pushed me so I wouldn't leave. And at that moment the psychiatrist strated to talk about me to my parents and he didn't even look at me, like I wasn't there and I was like: "hellooo, I'm here..." so I couldn't take it anymore and I started crying and I looked at everyone in the room and everyone was looking at me with a pocker face like they didn't really care. So I get really angry at the psychiatrist because I was really afraid I would be dissocciated all my life and the least thing I needed was someone to treat me like he was treating me. So I yelled at him, and started saying that my parents, especially my father, had done horrible things to me and to my two older brothers and he was like: "yeah, sure..." and that bothered me a lot, because he seemed like he didn't believe me. So when I finished he started to talk again to my parents like I wasn't there and said: "well, the best thing to do is to get her and lock her in the hospital" (internar en el hospital). So I get really sad and mad and angry and I yelled: "this is traumatic" and the psychiatrist shouted: "No it isn't". And when we leaved he stopped to shake my hands like nothing of that happened and I was like: "dude, you need medication more than me". Still I haven't figured out what did I just say that made him so angry, but I gotta say he reminded me of my father a lot, and my father has serious mental health issues...
He wasn't the only bad psychiatrist that I have met. There was one woman who used to tell me to "forget" what happened to me, that I should reppress that memories and try not to think about them and I was like: "seriously, I have read a lot of books about trauma, ptsd... and all of them say that that's the least thing you should do..."
So yeah, pretty long story I know. Thank you for reading till the end and let me know what you think about it and this "bad psychiatrists".
Oh no, I'm so sorry BlancaLap! :hug:
Among other things that sounds completely unprofessional of the psychiatrist. Also he isn't allowed to disclose information to your parents (or anybody else) about you without your permission. If he told your parents when your appointment was with him, then obviously he disclosed that. Unless you're under 18 years of age, then the rules might be different. But still I don't like his underhanded way of dealing with the situation, by confronting you suddenly with your parents. It puts you at an weaker position than everybody else's. That is not fair.
They can't lock you up in a hospital unless there are real grounds for this, e.g. you're threatening suicide with intent or you are so dissociated that you've lost contact with the real world (which happened to me once).
I've been yelled at a few times by mental health professionals, usually when they pushed me to breaking point and then were overwhelmed themselves by my response. I felt like saying in retrospect "Guys, I told you I have C-PTSD and that you shouldn't provoke me because of triggers!" So anyway I know how being yelled at feels. Not good.
So sorry to hear that. I was 18 when that happened (now I'm 19). Yeah, I was like: "dude, if I'm dissociating it's because people have trated me like *, so don't do the same thing again". Speaking of him, after the meeting I found him in a web-site about doctors: it's called "Más que médicos" or "More than doctors" in which you can give "stars" to the doctors so I put a bad review, just to find out days later that he had called his friends to put good reviews... I feel... like I don't have a voice... I just want him to know that what he did was wrong and recieve an apology, but it feels like when I try to communicate with him he doesn't wanna hear... here is the web-site (it's in spanish): https://www.google.es/amp/s/masquemedicos.com/psiquiatra_vitoria-gasteiz/jesus-maria-etxebeste-anton/%3famp=1
Yikes! How unethical. Might have been a "favor" for his friend, maybe he thought he was doing the right thing but that doesn't excuse his behavior for a second.
My experience with psychiatrists and my father has left me cautious. When I was a teenager my father did everything he could to get me committed in hospital against my will to silence me. He probably told psychiatrists I was out of control because they often treated me the way you were treated by this doctor. I had to meet quite a few psychiatrists, they were all told I was crazy and I had to protect myself. I learned to be very calm and friendly, chat to them nicely about whatever they seemed interested in so they'd say "we had such a lovely chat, what a nice kid!..." and forget their original agenda.
Granted you asked this doctor for help which makes it worse but still, my experience taught me it's often best to stay away from bad psychiatrists. When I tried standing up to them they said I had uncontrollable anger issues and went on the attack. I learned to smile a big smile and walk away from them. They can be dangerous.
I'm sure there are good therapists and psychiatrists out there. The bad ones convinced me not to go looking for the good ones but I hope when you can you'll find your own safe, kind therapists and psychiatrists who really do have your best interests at heart.
Are there no medical supivsor in your country that you can send a formal complaint to?
If that happened to a patient here and a complaint was made, the psychiatrist would be under investigation.
I prefer psychologists though, they don't tend to push pills on me.
querida blanca,
i lived in mexico for 16 yrs., had a bad experience with 2 psychiatrists there. i was misdiagnosed by the first, then treated like she knew it all (the second) even when i began complaining about terrible side effects from the meds. i quit her and the meds as soon as i could.
i've also had bad experiences with therapists both in mexico and the states. i filed a formal complaint against the one in the states. also, extremely unprofessional and unethical behavior. what your psych. did is definitely wrong - there is no excuse for that kind of behavior, no excuse for treating you like a child (i read what you wrote about him), and no excuse for his lack of ethics where your parents are concerned.
lock you up in a hospital? wrong. what a horrible, manipulative threat that was - i believe it was used to try to control you so you'd do what he wanted you to do. i hope you never have to see him again, hope you can file a complaint against him someday (it took me 8 yrs. to get stable enough before i could do it, so i know it might take time.).
i'm so very sorry you had this awful experience. there are worthy therapists and responsible psychiatrists out there. sometimes it takes a period of searching to find one who fits well with you. in my opinion, this one does not at all. sending you a hug (if you want it) filled with care and concern.
Thanks and sorry to hear that. I'm from Spain but I believe there are also ways here of complaining (I don't know), I'll check. Anyway, thanks for your replies!
Welcome to OOTS Blanca, so sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. :hug:
Here is a resource that may be helpful:
"Is There Something Wrong or Questionable in Your Treatment?" (http://www.therapyabuse.org/p2-wrong-questionable-treatment.htm) by Dr. Estelle Disch.
This article is one of many resources at a site called the Therapy Exploitation Link Line (http://www.therapyabuse.org/index.htm) (TELL) for those who have been harmed in a therapeutic relationship in the US and Austraia. It may be that this organization can help you locate a similar organization in your country I don't know, but it's a place to start. It may also help to validate that you have every right to report/lodge a complaint against this person.
Thanks!
What disgusting unethical behaviour from a so-called psychiatrist towards a traumatised person. Intimidating at best, traumatic at worst.
Sorry you had to experience this. I hope you will be able to vet psychiatrists and therapists more thoroughly in future. I know it's not easy, and often it's a case of meet them first to find out what kind of people they are and whether they are actually properly qualified to treat people with C-PTSD. I think lodging a complaint against this person would be validating.
that's too bad, really. i'm just glad you made it out and hopefully never have to see him again. you can still file a complaint. even without tangible proof, the complaint would, i believe, be registered, and be noted in case there are other complaints recorded. it all starts with one. best to you and a big hug.
Thank you and I really hope I don't have to live that again. I still kinda want an apology from him, but if he really is like my dad, I'm 100% sure that will never happen. I'm gonna fill a complain the next week maybe, but I'm quite lost. And I don't want my parents to know it but I have a feeling they will know one day... I'm gonna try it anyway. Again, thanks for you replies!
BlancaLap, two lawyers for parents, that's a tough one. No one should assume lawyers cannot be abusive. I come from a family of lawyers and was abused. I couldn't understand why I never got justice, why my views and feelings were ignored, when I had done nothing wrong. (I was the scapegoat, I later discovered.) It really messed up my beliefs about myself. Evidence is what wins cases IMO. Hearsay means little, you could have made it up. And if they label you as mentally ill, they could use that against you - so more of a reason to keep notes of dates, times, and record what you can. All the best to you, good luck! Just had another thought.... wouldn't it be easier to leave home? You said you're 19, so you are free to move away, if you can find somewhere suitable, somewhere safe and supportive ideally.
Quote from: Fen Starshimmer on November 08, 2017, 11:31:13 PM
BlancaLap, two lawyers for parents, that's a tough one. No one should assume lawyers cannot be abusive. I come from a family of lawyers and was abused. I couldn't understand why I never got justice, why my views and feelings were ignored, when I had done nothing wrong. (I was the scapegoat, I later discovered.) It really messed up my beliefs about myself.
I could have written this too, except that M and F aren't lawyers. They have some other highly professional qualifications, which they used to keep me small, under their thumb, basically down-trodden and with a very low opinion of myself. Their opinion of themselves is that nobody with their (intellectual) intelligence and education level could ever be abusive. In fact they used their intellectual reasoning powers to slam down anything I tried to point out to them while growing up. I'm only now really realising emotionally and not just cognitively that this was an additional form of abuse and that there never was anything I could say to make them understand. They didn't want to and they still don't! I used to call what they were doing "intellectual abuse", just to myself of course.
I'm sorry you both have suffered similar.
Sorry to hear your responses. They have already labelled me as "mentally ill" and yes, they use it against me, and yes, they are both very intelligent and sometimes it looks like they think they are more because of that. My two brothers and I are also quite intelligent, I mean, we are good at english, math... but we are all really stupid with the emotional part.
I wish I could just let home but I have nowhere to go... sometimes it is difficult to move somwhere else. I mean, I could go to my aunt's house or uncle's home, but I don't want to leave a home with emotionally poor people to move to another house with another emotionally poor people.
And sorry for the bad word, I didn't know you censor that things...
Blueberry - I am sorry you had to go through that. Good name: intellectual abuse. I privately use the term 'intellectual terrorism' for those times when, as a child, there was no way I could defend myself against words twisted and hammered at me like weapons, like prosecuting lawyers do in court except usually towards adults. I think we need these terms to validate our experience, remind ourselves that it wasn't/isn't normal or acceptable behaviour for parents.
Hi BlancaLap - Sorry to hear they've already done that :( There's no question, you're intelligent... looking for a way out of this toxic situation at home. Was wondering whether you'd thought of approaching a youth charity in your area. Some can offer housing advice eg YMCA which I think is international. There must be a way out of this :hug:
supporting you, blanca, in whatever decision you make. do you have a job, maybe start saving for a place? find some friends to move in with? having this kind of 'intellectually abusive' hold on you is a horrible thing. wishing you all the best.
there is no doubt of your intelligence, and i think labelling you as being mentally ill is just another way to keep you under their power. so very sorry for your situation. i hope you're able to get free of it as soon as possible. warm caring hug to you.
Thank you all for your support. I'm don't have a job, but I've already recorded some videos... so if the abuse begins again I have something to defend myself with. What I know is that what happens in my house is not normal despite what my parents say and I would not endure more abuse... it is just... that the abuse has ceased (due that I show no emotions anymore, but I know that's not the answer), because my parents (and my aunts and grandparents) get really mad at me when I'm "sad" or I don't want to talk to them or leave the house because of that, so... I "act" like everything is ok, but it is exhausting. Anyway, I'm waiting a meeting I have with some psychologist and psychiatrist to discuss my situation and with a bit of luck they are not like the psychiatrist I have already talked to you about... Wish me luck!
Quote from: BlancaLap on November 12, 2017, 06:11:13 PM
Wish me luck!
Definitely!
Because the way you are living isn't really living. It's doing what you need to do atm to survive, but you deserve an actual life where you can be who you are with your feelings and desires and wishes and go on from there ... which just isn't possible surrounded by a FOO as unhealthy as yours and mine. hope a :hug: is good support for now.
Exactly! And thank you. Wish you support too
:hug:
Your situation may be totally different from mine, but in the last few years that I was still in touch with my psychopath father and most of my FOO, I showed them less and less emotion. This didn't mean there was any less abuse though, I just knew being authentic was too dangerous, I knew if I showed any pain I'd instantly be punished for it. Well, what a twisted way to treat a person...
It was an experiment in a way, I tried talking to them without showing emotions to test what effect it would have, but it still didn't seem to improve things to a sane degree where I felt communicating with them was anywhere near what I'd call normal, so that was a big step toward No Contact eventually.
In my experience, when you're feeling you can't be yourself - especially when you're abused and you're being gaslighted and told to act as though none of it is happening - you dissociate a lot. It's the most natural, normal, sane thing your mind can do to keep you as safe as possible. It's a sign that your environment is crazy. :stars:
When you're in a safer environment, when you can be yourself more fully, it can change - dissociation can let go and you can have more and more alternatives.
Still, it'll probably be a survival mechanism that keeps coming to your rescue... when dissociation hits me very hard, I let it. Till recently I've always been so mad at myself for "losing control again" whenever I dissociated badly, but I now think I was being overly harsh. It's there to protect me, even if I dislike it very much. I've been trying to respect it, to be grateful for the hard work it's been doing my whole life to take care of me. It's a constant power in me that's always had my best interests at heart, comforting in a way.
I'm sending you all my strength and a lot of love.
Thank you ❤ I'm happy to hear that you don't have contact with your father anymore, I wish that was my reality too. I have a feeling that the reason I'm stuck in my dissociation is because my parents (like you said), and that I will not be able to reconect with myself until I go to live by myself.
Good luck with your recovery!
blanca, i truly wish you luck with the new professionals. hopefully, you'll be getting some positive information, validation, and support.
sending a hug filled with care and love.
Thanks, send you too a big hug!
Just commenting, that I barely remember that day when I met my father's friend the psychiatrist, but when I try to remember what happened, I get so sick I have to stop. I cannot help but think that it was some sort of traumatic, the feeling that they have so much power over me that they can do whatever they want no matter what if I don't behave like they want me to behave, that they can take away my freedom... with the excuse that they are doing "what is best for me", that they are "helping me", even though by law the can't... and I get so angry at thinking that I could have recorded the whole conversation if the device had worked... I think I now have some sort of distrust against psychiatrists, and I kinda wanna left thos behind, stop going to the psyquiatrist, stop taking medication... I mean, if the people that are supposed to help me traumatize me, why should I go to them? Why would I wanna even be in the same room with them? I don't know what to do. Is the medication worth it? Does it really help? Because I have some serious problems due to the medication... like I haven't had my period in more than a year, I have liquid issues, I have memory issues, concentration issues... What do you think?
Quote from: BlancaLap on November 18, 2017, 08:34:02 PM
Just commenting, that I barely remember that day when I met my father's friend the psychiatrist, but when I try to remember what happened, I get so sick I have to stop. I cannot help but think that it was some sort of traumatic,
IME when something was so bad that I can hardly remember it but I get sick or other physical symptoms or even something like an EF when I try to think about it or remember what happened, then it was something pretty traumatic. From what you described of the situation with your parents and the doc, it could well have been re-traumatising, at least from my lay person's point of view.
Quote from: BlancaLap on November 18, 2017, 08:34:02 PM
I think I now have some sort of distrust against psychiatrists, and I kinda wanna ... stop going to the psyquiatrist, stop taking medication... I mean, if the people that are supposed to help me traumatize me, why should I go to them?
I can understand that you might feel that way. But there are some good docs out there. IME it's worth your while to find one. FWIW I've searched, not had luck so given up, then tried again, had some success, given up again later when turned out not so good or if just no longer good. Sometimes docs and therapists / counsellors can be good for part of our healing journey, but not for ever. (Obviously psych friend of your father's is no good at all.) So IME: keep trying to find a psych when you have the impulse or energy to do so.
Quote from: BlancaLap on November 18, 2017, 08:34:02 PM
Is the medication worth it? Does it really help? Because I have some serious problems due to the medication... like I haven't had my period in more than a year, I have liquid issues, I have memory issues, concentration issues... What do you think?
I'm not too experienced with medication. I have Citalopram, presently just 15mg daily, though used to be 30mg, and I've never had side-effects that I know of. Some of the rumours that float around among patients - like anti-depressants numb your feelings - aren't true apparently. At least that's what my psych said: Citalopram doesn't belong to that category of meds. I'd believed those rumours. Psych said 'No'.
There were times, in fact lots of times, when I had no period. I've heard of this for other women too who have CPTSD or even 'just' depression. I've never heard of it being connected to meds, though it could be. I don't know enough about it.
Memory and concentration problems are both possible symptoms of CPTSD. I'm not sure what you mean by 'liquid issues'. I used to have urinary incontinence and in fact still do occasionally when everything becomes 'too much'. So if that's what you mean, it's not connected to medication in my case either, it's another symptom of CPTSD.
HOpe some of this is useful, if not, ignore.
Thanks for your replie. By liquid issues I mean liquid retention (retención de líquido), I don't know how to say it in english.
By the concentration issues, sure I have had them all my life and I'm sure it is because of C-PTS, but i only had them during class, in school, when stress was at it's top, but not when i studied in my house. Now I can't even study in my house either... but you're right, I'm not 100% sure it is because of the medication, I just assume (except for the liquid issues, I know they are because of the medication: due to omanzapine).
I've had many over the years but one in particular stands out. When I was about 20, I overdosed on Klonopin and was hospitalized for a week as a result. When I was released, I went to see my psychiatrist. She asked me what I'd been taking in the hospital and chided me for not being able to remember all of the names. Then she cut me off as I was asking about her thoughts on what to do next and delivered a mini lecture on how irresponsible I was for overdosing and having trouble with memory. She concluded her speech by saying she could no longer treat me because my behavior was too erratic (I came to understand later that it was likely motivated by liability concerns) and as I was walking out of her office she told me to "stop being goofy." I was stunned but didn't know what to say in response so I walked out.
Sad thing is, the next psychiatrist defended her decision and only expressed mild surprise at what she said. Like if you heard a pilot crack a PG-13 joke about the mile high club right before takeoff. Sometimes I think mental health professionals are the last people on earth who should be tasked with the duties of their professions. I've found good ones, but many seem disinterested in people and distrusting and dismissive of their patients.
Quote from: OrinIncandenza on December 15, 2017, 08:55:39 AM
I've had many over the years but one in particular stands out. When I was about 20, I overdosed on Klonopin and was hospitalized for a week as a result. When I was released, I went to see my psychiatrist. She asked me what I'd been taking in the hospital and chided me for not being able to remember all of the names. Then she cut me off as I was asking about her thoughts on what to do next and delivered a mini lecture on how irresponsible I was for overdosing and having trouble with memory. She concluded her speech by saying she could no longer treat me because my behavior was too erratic (I came to understand later that it was likely motivated by liability concerns) and as I was walking out of her office she told me to "stop being goofy." I was stunned but didn't know what to say in response so I walked out.
Sad thing is, the next psychiatrist defended her decision and only expressed mild surprise at what she said. Like if you heard a pilot crack a PG-13 joke about the mile high club right before takeoff. Sometimes I think mental health professionals are the last people on earth who should be tasked with the duties of their professions. I've found good ones, but many seem disinterested in people and distrusting and dismissive of their patients.
My last T also defended this post's T's behaviour. He said he knew him and he was sure he had a good reason to behave like he did. It felt so bad... I'm sorry, you're right, some people shouldn't be in the position of Ts. Maybe they have the master, but they lack in empathy and understanding.
Quote from: Blueberry on November 06, 2017, 09:18:54 PM
They can't lock you up in a hospital unless there are real grounds for this, e.g. you're threatening suicide with intent or you are so dissociated that you've lost contact with the real world (which happened to me once).
My parents' behaviour was the one that made me dissociate to the extreme and get stuck in there, because they made me feel I was in danger. I told him that, and what was his response? Try to lock me in the hospital. When I asked him why, he told me because I was dissociated. It was like: you should make me feel more safe to help no, not became a threat!
I don't know... but I know one thing: if you are dissociated, they should know it is because you feel in danger and try to help you, I mean, they are the Ts, they should know that, so, why make you feel more in danger?
I commented something here and now it's gone. What happened?
BlancaLap, I believe it was the migration of the server. I could be wrong but anything from after the 24th would not bave been transfered over. I explained it a bit more on your other post.
If you have any questions feel free to message me or any of the moderators :)