Oops, I forgot to put the "er" at the end. Should I not have a sense of humor about your personality? Flying toward anything that will give you relief even if you know it will burn you, and those in your path, again and again. I know that flight pattern, you have taught me well. As a child I could do nothing but fly to you, desperately, in loops and jerks and dives, hoping that the fire would be warm, even just once, and not scathing and impossibly hot. No more. Not your flame. I see it and have left it to burn only you. I'm not flying out and around anymore. I'm flying inward to find what you were so scared to let free. I'm the one breaking the cycle of cowardice and violence. I'm not bringing you with me but I'm not forcing a mirror in your face either. This letter will not find you, nor these words. I don't need vengeance or rage to get through my pain. I don't need to be a hot flame to anyone else and project my pain. I am learning to just be a light. I know you will never know this boy/man. This makes me sad but no longer guilty.
Your Sun
So beautifully written. I particularly liked the phrase about finding the person inside that your mother was too scared to set free. That is exactly what these mothers do. Keep us chained up because they are afraid.
Well done on breaking free and writing so beautifully.
Libby.
Yes, beautifully written!
Thank you both for your comments. It's so reassuring to be heard. :hug: