Out of the Storm

Confusing title?

It's a dilemma, meaning both options are unpleasant.

H and I are living in his parents' home. He's sort-of okay with that, but I'm finding it harder every day. MIL wants us out, too.

H has a dismal employment record mostly consisting of long gaps, and hasn't held any kind of job since 2009. My last job was in 2011. I'd always worked in a specialised field which has since collapsed. Two years ago I had a brain injury and I'm still under par with that -- although it's hard to tell which symptoms are ABI and which are CPTSD.

Yesterday we made talk time to discuss how we might proceed, and concluded that we both needed to find paid work in order to be able to rent a place of our own. I've been looking at online job ads and frankly I find them all intimidating. Meanwhile I'm numbing out on the internet all day every day, trying not to think about where we're headed.

I'd love to have a job that was a good fit and, more importantly, put me among good people. Most days I just give up and fill the hours till bedtime. This is no life at all. I also have grave doubts, after 12 years of marriage, that I would have chosen H as my life partner had I not been ostracised by my FOO. Apart from when we make a date, we mostly sit in separate rooms, each on our laptops.

My confidence is in the toilet. If I were in a situation where I felt liked and appreciated I'm sure I would feel better about myself, to say nothing of having some money to pay my way. However, I balk at being able to support both of us indefinitely. If we rent and furnish a place and I can't hack it, what then?

I think I just needed to put this out there, because you lot are my only cheer squad. I should add that I'm two weeks into group therapy for Acquired Brain Injury, and it's often the highlight of my week because I'm with fellow sufferers. And out of the house!

Ideas and suggestions gratefully received.

I've used temp agencies in the past with good results. The pros: only one application & interview process (with the temp agency), someone else looks for jobs for you, you get to try a position/employer first to see if it's a good fit. The cons: possible rejection, having to meet new people, perhaps several changes in a short period.

Maybe others can think of other pros and cons.

There is also the possibility of being a permanent temp who just fills in on a temporary basis at each assignment.

I'm just waking up so I'll post later if I think of anything else :wave:

I've had a lot of problems with employment since my "collapse". Because I'm easily triggered by all sorts of things and people, because my brain doesn't seem to function properly, because workplace hierarchy often doesn't run the way it's meant to (which triggers me), because I blank out, because sometimes I'm so tired after about an hour, I need a 2-3 hour break, because I need to be able to decide for myself what jobs I'm taking on - this hasn't been and continues not to be too easy to fit into a place of employment.

Early days of getting back to work (after maybe 2-3 years nothing possible), I did about 2 hours / week volunteer work. No money but got me out of the house doing something else. Later I did a couple of days a week sort of volunteer but with payment-in-kind (food mostly). Then I did house-sitting for a year   ;D   which certainly covered the rent. Gradually I got back into my own profession and similar, but self-employed. I don't make enough money to live off it, but it's a lot better for me than doing no paid work, i.e. now the volunteer option wouldn't be good, tho it was back then. Maybe you can think of or come across 'alternative' methods of earning your keep. And then gradually move into something that you'd like to do more long-term or which is better paying.
Is there any way that you or your h could get disability payment of some sort? I do. It's not enough to live off either by any means, but every little bit helps. I know it probably sounds a bit dumb, but try and allow yourself some time to earn enough-ish. Pressure certainly doesn't help me into work I can keep going at. Too much pressure? I collapse - get a lot of physical symptoms including fever. Good luck!

Thank you, both. I had a major collapse yesterday afternoon, when I said to H that I didn't think our plan was going to work, in that neither of us is ready to work. He never has been; I was but I've lost so much confidence since the head injury. That means we're stuck in his parents' home for the foreseeable and probably a lot longer.

What worries me is that I believe he's okay with that, while I'm fighting the idea that I'm going to die here, alone on a mattress in the attic.

Oh, Candid. I'm sorry.  :hug:   Easier said than done, but try again somehow when you're ready. Don't give up. Go slowly. Tiny little steps bring us forward, not trying to earn enough to move out tomorrow.

I've got so full of myself in the past few days that I've just emailed a former employer I liked, asking whether he has a place for me. This has come about because H is swinging the lead over applying for work, looking at properties for sale, or in any way doing anything to get us out of here.

I doubt my old boss will take me on but I had to do something about my daily frustration. And who else should I be full of, eh?

 :hug: I am so fortunate because I found an incredible job with the most supportive people. It was only by chance though because I work part time at a library but I never pictured myself working at one as I used to hate to read (love it now). I hadn't worked for four years prior and I recieve all sorts of disability and government support. I couldn't work full time e even where I am currently. They do well when I'm having an EF even though until last week I didn't have a word for it. Today my branch manager told me he could tell I was really pushing it and that I was not expected to do so much and it was okay to slow down. He said I was not responsible for carrying the weight of the world even if it sometimes feels like it. I am seriously so lucky for these people.

I say this to encourage you. Try places you might not have tried. Take it slow. And who knows? You might get so much from it. My co-workers have been so healing even though they're not perfect. They are the only humans I let close to me. There are some really great people out there. You can do this and if you find yourself in a bad job, leave. There are others. I applied for several months before I finally found someone to take a chance on  me. When I meltdown and cry to my supervisor that I'm too crazy to work there, she assures me it was  requirement to get hired. You can do it!  :cheer:

Yay, Candid! Good on you.  :cheer:
One of old employers gave me freelance work for a while, so I say 'Leave no stone unturned' so long as it's not going to damage you.

Quote from: Beloved_Unlovable on March 20, 2017, 06:39:08 PMI say this to encourage you.

It does! I've actually had dreams recently about working happily among good people.

QuoteI applied for several months before I finally found someone to take a chance on  me.

Were they advertised jobs, or did you do a lot of cold-calling?

QuoteWhen I meltdown and cry to my supervisor that I'm too crazy to work there, she assures me it was  requirement to get hired.

Oh, she sounds lovely. And you do too. :hug:

Quote from: Blueberry on March 20, 2017, 07:31:09 PMOne of old employers gave me freelance work for a while, so I say 'Leave no stone unturned' so long as it's not going to damage you.

Well, like Beloved_Unlovable says, I can always leave -- despite my history of sticking with a bad scene for too long. I've been doing some somatic work and am getting quicker at realising what's right for me and what isn't.

On the down side, I've had a cheery email from that former boss and he doesn't have a place for me. Transport is an issue for me as I don't drive, so I'm limited as to where I can get to. Ah well...

I got very discouraged during my job search. I applied to advertised jobs and looked into places (daycares) I thought I'd want to work and had experience and only had two interviews which didn't turn over anything, and this was over three months of non stop applying. I don't say this to discourage but just to keep you motivated in case the search is tedious. When a chance encounter with someone online whom I've actually never met in person who works at one of our other libraries (it's a big system of 20 branches) told me I should apply for this shelving job I did and it's been incredible. I've been traumatized at other jobs and sometimes freak out here, but they always reassure me I'm doing well and am too hard on myself. Being here has taught me there are good people out there who will help you because they have or do struggle too. I hope you can find something like this too and don't conform to societies view that you must work even if you're miserable. You can work and be in a safe environment too. It may just take some searching. Once again, you can do it and I'm here if you need anything.  :cheer:

Thanks for the coaching, Beloved_Unlovable. I'll have to make a list of the places I think I'd like to work at, and start cold-calling. :ulp: The job ads I've been looking at all make me feel stupid and inferior. And I'm not, dammit!

Quotea chance encounter with someone online whom I've actually never met in person who works at one of our other libraries

I've found jobs in odd ways before now, too. I think when you get serious about it, strange coincidences start to happen. 

QuoteI've been traumatized at other jobs and sometimes freak out here, but they always reassure me I'm doing well and am too hard on myself. Being here has taught me there are good people out there who will help you because they have or do struggle too. I hope you can find something like this too and don't conform to societies view that you must work even if you're miserable.

Thanks. It does sound wonderful, more like a sheltered workshop than a workplace. I could do with some of that. The years of slogging on regardless, running off to the ladies' room every so often for a good cry, are over.

I heard back from my former boss as well as a former colleague, and nothing doing on that front other than good wishes. Never mind. I'm glad I got that out of the way. Clearly I'm going to be doing something different this time around.

Quote from: Candid on March 22, 2017, 09:28:42 AM
And I'm not, dammit!
...
The years of slogging on regardless, running off to the ladies' room every so often for a good cry, are over.

No you're not. :) I also get down on myself though because I don't have a degree; I even dropped out of high school because of the crap at home. I wish I could get a degree. School is a huge trigger.

And I still go to the bathroom to cry sometimes, but more so because bathrooms are my safe place. Working ain't easy which is why I think all people deserve a supportive environment.

Good job making the call even though nothing turned out of it. Did you ask if you could maybe use her as a reference though on a resume? She might still be able to help you in that way. I think it's very brave you called. I psych myself out with stuff like that. These first steps are the hardest. You're doing it.  :cheer:

Quote from: Beloved_Unlovable on March 22, 2017, 12:50:31 PMDid you ask if you could maybe use her as a reference though on a resume? She might still be able to help you in that way.

Yes, I have done now.

QuoteI think it's very brave you called. I psych myself out with stuff like that.

Hey, I'm not that brave either! I sent a message via Linked In.  I've got lots of endorsements on there from former bosses and co-workers... and I've decided I have to make a career change.

I'm thinking special-needs teacher in a primary school. I mean, I really fancy that. So instead of looking at job ads, I'm listing the schools near me preparatory to sending my CV/resume and covering letter.  :whistling:

Things aren't going so well. My former boss didn't reply to my message requesting a reference, so I take it that's a No.

I'm even more desperate to get out of the house than I am for an income, so I started looking at voluntary work. To my surprise I  found a position I thought would suit me, and that I'd be well-qualified for.

Then I went to apply. Yes, employers asking for volunteers and not paying so much as a bus fare do have standards. They want applicants to undergo a police check. No problem. They want references. No can do.

I've just spent hours writing and rewriting my cv. I've attached my academic record. I'm reasonably certain they won't take me on.

I called this post Twinkle, twinkle little star because the experience of applying, particularly the personal statement, really made me wonder who I am. I feel quite hopeless. Can't even get unpaid work.

Sorry I've been avoiding people so I'm just now seeing this but don't give up.  :hug: As I said, my reentry into working was very hard. I couldn't even get a hotel maid position and I was rejected for every americorps position I applied for that required no skills. I'll just advise don't limit yourself. I never thought I'd work at a library because prior I hated reading (now I have an insatiable hunger for all and read non stop) but it's been the biggest blessing ever. Don't give up. Get out and take walks. Start something new. Be your own boss. Write a book or send into newspapers. You can do so many things.  :cheer:

I had an appointment this morning with a back-to-work counsellor. She got me to take a skills test and decided I'd make a good paralegal, legal secretary, copy editor (yeah...), education welfare officer or family mediator. Off to the job fair on Friday, where dozens of employers will be looking for

ME! :yahoo:

I'll keep you posted. Coming back from that interview I had a lightbulb: if I can get a decently paid job, I could rent a place of my own. I'm not good at living with people. H could tell Social Security we've separated, so he could go on getting his welfare money even though his umm... former wife is working, and go on living with his mother.

This idea really gave me a boost. I'd let him visit, of course. But not give him a key.

I went a day early to the job fair venue and scored a list of exhibitors. Got home and googled them all, found they were all employment agencies or out-of-towners or care homes. None of that's for me, so I skipped the fair.

All except one: the local council. My employment consultant had given me a contact email for someone who organises eight-week job placements working for the council. I've decided to go for that, because you get yourself known and get a recent reference.

Quite excited about this idea. One worry: am I up for it? Since the brain injury I've been devoid of concentration and energy. I get awfully tired. My reason for wanting to jump back in (apart from the money) is that I think I'm progressively getting worse doing buggar-all all day every day. So I have to give this a go.

good luck and best wishes with this.  keep us informed, candid.  so far, so good.  and i think you got a good realization about yourself, that you might be better off out there than sitting around all day.  i hope you're able to give it a go and see how it works.  it might be the ticket you've been looking for!  big hug!

Quote from: Candid on April 29, 2017, 08:15:49 AM
I went a day early to the job fair venue and scored a list of exhibitors. Got home and googled them all, found they were all employment agencies or out-of-towners or care homes. None of that's for me, so I skipped the fair.

All except one: the local council. My employment consultant had given me a contact email for someone who organises eight-week job placements working for the council. I've decided to go for that, because you get yourself known and get a recent reference.

You go for it! Do some research and separate the wheat from the chaff.  :thumbup:  It's good to hear that you're up on your feet again.  :cheer:

Quote from: Candid on April 29, 2017, 08:15:49 AM
One worry: am I up for it? Since the brain injury I've been devoid of concentration and energy. I get awfully tired.

Is there any way you could start with a part-time position and add hours as you get used to the job and/or decide for a while to leave it part-time? A medium-term part-time job is infinitely better than working a full-time one to the point of exhaustion and/or getting really sick again and having to give it all up. (IME - been there, done that).

Is there any kind of helpful provision for you as a physically disabled person? Surely your brain injury must count as that? In my country employers would have to give you longer breaks. Now if you're making use of these provisions as somebody with a psychological disability, it's not always to be recommended because you tend to get scapegoated, apparently. But physical disability is a different kettle of fish.

Quote from: Candid on April 29, 2017, 08:15:49 AM
So I have to give this a go.

I don't have to work, I want to (in order to make some money, feel independent, get out of the house) etc etc. The naming here makes a difference!

Blueberry, H too suggested that I start part-time. I plan to email the placement organiser and tell her I'm available in a couple of weeks, because that's when the ABI rehab group ends. I'm assuming she'll interview me first to find out where I fit. I agree I don't want to start something and be unable to follow through, so that's something to be discussed at interview.

I hadn't thought of the potential for being scapegoated. That would be truly horrible.  :spooked:

Thank you for pointing out "have to" and "want to". I want to be working again, because my working life constituted my power years. And I'm not ready to give it up!!

San, I'm actually scared to let this inactivity go on too long. It's been a year and a half since my accident and giving up university.

The ABI group has already had its session about acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that we're not the same people we were before stroke or accident, and must adjust our lives and expectations accordingly. When I think of my long career (despite everything), my interest and enthusiasm, it's really hard to accept the dull clod I am now. I don't accept it.

I will definitely update here. Thanks to both of you for your good wishes. :hug: :hug:

Still wading through treacle here.

The local council person finally got back to me, saying she wouldn't be able to see me until late June. I promptly made an appointment with her and am still pushing on other doors. That's on the rare days when I'm motivated to do something; far more often I wallow in Hopeless. That got me signed up with the Crisis Team at the local nuthouse. I've been really impressed with them. They have no influence on the very lengthy waiting list for trauma therapy, but they call me a few times a week and reel me in occasionally.

One suggestion from them was to sign up to a mental health organisation in town. I ummed and aahed about that because I hate being taken for mentally ill, and patronised accordingly. Anyway, Friday I went to the MHO and signed up for membership. There seems to be an opportunity for training, for getting a reference, for joining or even running groups, so I'm going to chase that up tomorrow.

Feeling some small hope today that I can get past this feeling of outrage that's been with me two years now, ever since I found out Dad had died and no one had told me. It's absolutely crippling. My chief motivation is to get the * out of my MIL's roof space, because I feel like I'm disappearing here and have zero rights, even over my own body. However, it becomes clear that I need smaller goals.

1) Do something about my fitness. The weight gain and shortness of breath are NOT helping
2) Get involved with the MHO. in whatever capacity so long as it gets me out of the house
3) Keep looking for work, paid or unpaid
4) Be as prepared as I can be for the local council interview

There was a reel-in from the nuthouse today. The woman I saw reminded me about the MHO, said I was doing everything I could towards the longer-term goal of getting out of MIL's attic, that I shouldn't be so hard on myself :roll:, and that something would give eventually.

Good to see you around again, Candid. Have missed you.

Good to hear you've being making steps forward too.  :hug:

Ugh, this voluntary work I'm headed for is feeling less and less like me. It's the mh organisation who've been 'training' me, and some of you are aware I've had misgivings from the start. I'm glad I kept going but I suspect I'm going to bail at some point, in a way that'll make a good reference seem unlikely.

This week I had to go along with ID stuff for a police check. I travelled by bus, so what time I got there was beyond my control. I have an anxiety thing that makes me prefer early to late, so I got there 20 mins before the appointed time. The co-ordinator, who was all sweetness and light during the childish training sessions, is suddenly showing another side. She ticked me off for being early, and was clearly annoyed. At that point I thought okay, if I'm too early again I'll find somewhere to sit and chill before I show myself. No biggie.

Next she introduced me to another peer support volunteer with better local knowledge than I have, so we could arrange to travel together for a further training session on Tuesday. We discussed this for a while, and I was factoring in the fact that I'd have at least two bus rides, so I suggested the other volunteer and I trade cellphone numbers. Co-ordinator immediately jumped on me, saying it was in the rules that all communication be via the office. I was irritated at what I considered a stupid rule and I know it showed in my face. Hold on, thought I to myself. I don't have to do this. I can walk at any time. So the other volunteer and I put our phones away.

Co-ordinator and I then went to her office for some kind of induction. She took off her blouse to reveal a vest underneath, saying she wouldn't normally dress that way for work but it was such a muggy day. I was wearing precisely such a vest, no blouse, because it was indeed warm. Was she being passive-aggressive? It would appear so. Her next question was, if there was an issue with what I did on the job, how would I prefer to be told about it? I made it clear I liked to know directly. She apparently elected to do it her own way.

It reminded me of being in my first job, when the boss stood me up in front of the office as an example of how not to dress. I was wearing one of my sister's cast-off dresses, and I was/am taller than elder sis. A few days after my final exams at school my parents had sent me to the other side of the world. I was expected to escort my grandmother back, and it was made explicit to me that when I started work I would also be expected to repay my parents for my fare and spending money. So for months I couldn't buy clothes.

Anyway, the next thing was going through the rule book. Co-ordinator and I had had a bit of back-and-forth about this meeting, and I'd sent her a one-line email -- "All good, [co-ordinator]. I look forward to meeting [other volunteer]. See you this afternoon!" This was disrespectful. She was smiling sweetly as she asked me: "Could you ensure that from now on all emails to me have my name at the top and your name at the bottom? Would you be able to manage that?"

So... next training thing is Tuesday and there are already two further appointments with this mh organisation in my diary. Co-ordinator is fully aware I've had no money coming in for the past year, and that I've signed up for this jolly hayride because I need job references. Seems to me they ask a great deal and give nothing back. What do you think?

It might be relevant that I'm older than the co-ordinator and have been university-trained in counselling techniques, which she hasn't. I'll never trust her again but hey, my greatest unacknowledged skill is acting. The question is how much longer I'll grin and bear it.

On a brighter note, the long-awaited interview at the local council comes up Monday, ie. the day before I have to do anything more for the mh mob. Since I have a wardrobe of tropical, second-hand and unflattering clothes, I'm off to town this afternoon to buy something that looks appropriate for office work. If the council interview feels positive, I'll take the risk and splash out on more. Might even get my hair done... but not for a gig meeting people with mh issues one-on-one. If I'm not exposing my irresistible body and am clean, that ought to be good enough.

Quote from: Candid on July 21, 2017, 12:10:44 PM
I'm off to town this afternoon to buy something that looks appropriate for office work.

Way to go, Candid.  :cheer:

The mh place sounds a bit toxic. I'm too tired / self-absorbed to write more. But I bet you'll come up with your own solution soon.  ;D   >:D

Thanks for replying, Blueberry.

Quote from: Blueberry on July 21, 2017, 02:08:28 PM
The mh place sounds a bit toxic.

It certainly feels that way to me, and I suspect the others go along with it because their own issues prevent them trusting themselves or knowing when something feels wrong. I have a long history of being well-respected in the workplace and I don't think I can fit into this one. Really hoping the council thing will go well, in which case I'll let everyone know via the office :roll: that I'm out.

I bought several tops for work but had trouble finding pants and skirts. Tried a few things on and looked so awful with all the extra weight I'm carrying that I got overwhelmed and scurried back. There's an environmental issue here. I'm homeless, dammit. It's like trying to stand up and perform with a rock on my head and my ankles shackled together.

I'll plod on. I don't have to do this. I can walk at any time.

fingers crossed and prayers flying that the council thing comes thru.  i don't like the sound of that co-ordinator, either.  sounds kind of condescending.  not a fan.  and, yes you can walk whenever you want.  hopefully, you'll be able to with a different job under your belt.  that would be idea.  best to you, my dear.   big hug!

Quote from: sanmagic7 on July 21, 2017, 04:52:38 PM
i don't like the sound of that co-ordinator, either.  sounds kind of condescending.

I needed to see that, san, and I agree with you. Thanks.

Quotehopefully, you'll be able to with a different job under your belt.

Yeah, swimming as hard as I can to get to a place where I can look back on this time as if it were a bad dream. I've done it before, I'll do it again. Yay me!

Sigh. Why is the world full of such excuse me pillocks...?   The co ord sounds like your typical never grown up yet school bully type...pathetic. 

Really keeping fingers crossed for the council job Candid  :hug: 

:rofl: clarity, and thanks for your support.

I read on the Healing Porch that you're not feeling too good right now. So sending you  :bighug: and also keeping fingers crossed for Council job.

Thanks, my darling. It's always nice to get a  :hug: or a :bighug: from you!

Should have updated sooner, but today I'm starting week 3 of my eight-week internship at the council and I've been kinda pushed for time.  You wouldn't think so, would you, when someone's awake on average 20 hours a day?  But obviously there are times I'm completely incapacitated, eyes open and brain still whirring 800rpm. :roll:

Anyway, I'm enjoying the gig.  They're good people.  I'd happily do it for free. 

Oh wait...  :doh:

:rofl:

 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: well done candid that's great news.

Candid, the Subject of this thread is pretty apt for me this morning. Oh, wait it is in fact already afternoon here. Yikes.

Anyway, I came online to check my emails hoping that since my late morning client cancelled last night (illness), and my other morning client has been sick for a couple of weeks,  my evening client would've emailed to cancel too. Yeah, I was really hoping that. No such luck.  :thumbdown: :thumbdown: He was sick last week. Why not this week too??

So though I really could do with the money, I don't want to work today. Well, not that kind of work. Gardening, house work OK, reading "The Body keeps the Score" aka healing work, yes, but not professional work.

To your post from today: I have no idea how on earth you are managing to work on 4 hours of sleep a night!! I'm sorry that it's still the case, but wow, I take my hat off. And I'm so happy for you that you are enjoying the work and that they're good people.  :cheer: :cheer: If I remember rightly, that so wasn't your impression going in.

Rooting for you that you get some pay for this after the 8-week internship, if you want to and are capable of staying on, that is.

i'm laughing right next to 3roses!  o, wait, indeed!

well done, dearie.  very good news.  you're doing it!   

Quote from: Blueberry on September 25, 2017, 12:16:22 PM
I have no idea how on earth you are managing to work on 4 hours of sleep a night!!

Nor do I.  This is all new to me.  I've had sleep issues since adolescence (chronic) and periodically it becomes acute, but never before for anywhere near as long as this.  It was months building up while I did dangerous things with various sleeping pills, so I can't even pinpoint the last decent night's sleep I had.  What galls me is the people at work thinking I've always been like this: zombified.  It took me days to figure out where I sit in a huge office, so that I got lost every time I left it.  That still happens after no-sleep nights, which are rather less common than the five-hours-max ones. 

This morning I estimate I got about three hours from the two pills I took around midnight -- the ones that feel like I've been drinking whisky all night, so I'm nauseous and headachey.  The previous night was a zero, so yesterday for the second time in a couple of weeks I walked in front of an oncoming vehicle: this one a bus in the town centre.  It hadn't even had time to slow down when I noticed the people in front of me wisely waiting to cross the road, and had my one second as an Olympic athlete.  It made me think, if I hadn't got out of the way in time it would have made the local paper as a suicide.  I really don't want that.

QuoteIf I remember rightly, that so wasn't your impression going in.

Right as always, Blueberry.  I applied back in April and didn't get an initial interview for months, at which they told me I needed references -- my reason for doing the gig.  I then had to write an application, which took me days, after which I heard nothing (not even acknowledgment of receipt) and naturally assumed I wasn't good enough even for unpaid work.  Finally I had two emails on Friday 1st telling me to show up for work on Monday 4th.  To be fair, both had been sent on Thursday afternoon... and when I immediately replied saying I'd made other arrangements but would start Monday 11th, I got two automated responses with variations of: "I am out of the office until Monday (start date).  If your enquiry is urgent..."  One of the people then texted me at 9.15 on the 4th to say she was waiting at reception and where was I?  So that was truly a :roll: situation, but I got over being mad at them on day one because I saw how rushed they are all the time.

QuoteRooting for you that you get some pay for this after the 8-week internship, if you want to and are capable of staying on, that is.

That would be good at this stage, but it's been made clear to me that the council isn't hiring for that department.  In fact I'm under the impression they get back-to-back interns to clean up the grunt work.  I know I'm fast, accurate, have learned their filing system and show up on time every day no matter what condition I'm in, but I look um... eccentric alongside people who have a good wardrobe and laundry system. 

Anyway, all is well here.  Thanks everyone for your good wishes.