I went to the local non-government mental health place today. They get funding for sure, but are not an actual government agency. They run the suicide line in my city etc. Anyhow, I went to a drop-in counselling session last week before my legal stuff, and the woman I talked to suggested their acupuncture meditation group.
So, I went there today. I...am...still...processing...it...
It was strange. I normally get very little out of meditation, but did it anyhow while the needles were in. It was like I was in a wordless, waking dream. I was feeling and aware of all sorts of the stuff that happens in my body and emotionally to me all the time. I have waves of dissociation, almost this quick cycling where I check into reality every couple of seconds and then disappear into numbness again. I was experiencing that, just watching it. It was like my awareness was a skipping stone, and the environment around me was the water. I felt the skipping of my consciousness back to my surroundings, and then back into the "air" of my inner trauma brain. I went through all sorts of things, experiencing the physical and mental sensations of terror and self-hatred and all sorts of other things, but although I was feeling them, I was also witnessing them. I don't know how to describe it. A waking dream I guess, and similar to what lucid dreaming seems to be. I almost started bawling at one point, and at another was shaking quite a bit.
Anyhow, it was well worth it, and I'm fairly reflective right now, almost like I just woke from some dream full of insight and cathartic experiences that I'm trying to puzzle out.
I had the sensation I got when I thought my therapist was rejecting me in the spring, when I had to temporarily move to the EMDR therapist for a few months. Like there was a cylindrical meat grinder from my heart to my genitals, churning me inside out with terror and loss of self. When I was experiencing that today, I imagined my therapist holding me and caring about me. The sensation didn't go away, but it got weaker.
Anyhow. I am probably coming across as kind of odd, crazy, or flaky. I'm not into spiritualism or a non-rational world view at all, but I'm just describing the experience.... Anyhow, I found that well worth doing...
Meursault
Last summer I had a sort of introductory acupuncture session and really felt a huge difference after - mood and energy were both elevated.
Also tried some chakra work which I was very skeptical of, but I felt a positive effect when done. That surprised me.