Does anybody have weird, uncomfortable dreams when they're experiencing a lot of anxiety? For me, they're not quite nightmares. (Heavens knows I have enough experience with those), but they're super uncomfortable. They're the dreams when I get lost, or I'm looking for something wandering around and around and around and can't find it even though I'm staring right where it should be.
Yeah, those are no fum, are they?For me I'd say they started in childhood and morphed in content over the years. Almost all my memorable dreams are anxiety dreams, maybe a quarter are nightmares, and a handful of good dreams, every now and then.
My most common anxiety dreams are being lost while trying to go somewhere or return home. I used to frequently have ones where all my teeth would fall out, thankfully those are much rarer now!
I hope you get some nights of good sleep, too!
Yes, definitely. My stress dreams always have to do with being expected to do something that I have no idea how to accomplish.
phew...it's not just me. Thank you all. :)
Writetolife, I just want you to know, that i have them too- not Cptsd nightmares, - i have day flashbacks- but for a long time, i was pretty numb and things seemed calmer. I was unaware that what i was experiencing were flashbacks...and looking back, i seemed to experience less stuff..i was on meds etc...and no therapy, life apart from my X was pretty quiet and we didnt have as much trouble then because i was still in the fog. I don't know if it was you who said your not sure about the Cptsd because you didnt have nightmares-
if so, did you know that not all of us have nightmares?
apparently its common to have either day mares (flashbacks) or nightmares (flashbacks while you sleep).
Mine happen in the day but i have anxiety dreams.
My T says that my dreams have the feelings in them, that i felt back at home with my parents.
The things that happen in the dreams resemble how i tried to hide and stay out of the way of y mother.= though the dreams are not visual replicas of what happened to me, perhaps because i don't visually remember a lot of my childhood.
I agree, they are super uncomfortable and when i wake, i feel...odd, like i need to get the dream out of me, i feel like i have a sour taste in my mouth- only way i can think to describe it. Don't feel *right*.
I have dreamed i was lost.
And i dream often about hiding from Natzis and feeling like we will be caught and that ill die. Such fear about what will happen to me.
The other night, i felt the fear i was experiencing in the dream about being caught, in my body. Guess it was a more restless night...but i wonder if these are somatic memories experienced in real life but brought out through dreams.
I dream about running up staircases up to an attic (like the annex), and hiding under tables and ducking beneath windows in my house.
I had a dream about rape, and I'm always running away or hiding in my dreams. Freeze and flight i suppose.
I often dream about being in my parents bedroom in my old childhood home, and in my dream i was trying to read what i wrote on the wall as a child when my dad decorated my bedroom. I left a message in real life, for the next people that might live there.
I have had dreams in which I'm outside of my own body, watching myself be angry and its very vivid. This happened in real life too when i was angry.
Lots of dreams take place in my parents bedroom and have had dreams there where i was angrily telling my dad and my X what i thought, setting boundaries etc.
hope this helps. you are not alone in this. :hug:
Anxiety dreams? Oh yes, pick me :heythere: I rarely have nightmares, but almost every night I have dreams where I am constantly anxious about not getting somewhere on time, of not finding my way to a place, missing a bus, not being prepared for an exam or presentation, and on and on. No matter how hard I try I can't do the thing I need to do.
As I recover though these dreams have changed somewhat. It used to be that I was always alone in them, but now I am with people from my past and/or present. I am still anxious but less so and sometimes (halleluyah) I am able to do the thing I am anxiously trying to accomplish.
Hopefully the next step will be to have fewer and fewer anxious dreams :yes:
Sienna,
That wasn't me who said that i don't have flashbacks. (I think I realized this weekend that I do have emotional flashbacks and that's how I ended up on this site). But that's super helpful information. I had never thought about anxiety dreams (or really the nightmares either) was a re-experiencing of emotions. I just sorta chocked them up to my brain being weird. A lot of my anxiety dreams lately have been trying to hide from dangerous people (which, come to think of it makes a lot of sense, since I'm spending most of my days right now trying to hide from my psychological abuser).
Do you ever feel dissociated in your dreams? Like your life is in danger and you know it, but you just can't be bothered to care.
Kizzie, that's so awesome that you now have support in your dreams! I'm so glad it's getting better for you, and that gives me a little hope, too. :)
Sorry about that Writetolife.
Emotional flashbacks are hard to spot...i do think a lot of us new to this struggle with recognising them.
Im glad you found the info helpful! Since starting this healing journey...well, since starting becoming more aware of things...i found out that there are often reasons for everything.
QuoteI'm spending most of my days right now trying to hide from my psychological abuser).
Oh dear. Are you safe?
QuoteDo you ever feel dissociated in your dreams? Like your life is in danger and you know it, but you just can't be bothered to care.
Do you?
Im not sure...ill have to have a think about this. I do think that perhaps there being 2 me's in a dream, one watching the other, represented depersonalisation. And maybe a part of me who is the observer self. I have issues with expressing anger, so i think the dream was perhaps showing that.
Um yes- in the dream, i remember wanting to touch the other me to see if i was real..but i was too afraid to as i was afraid the other me would attach me.
I do have dreams in which i know ive been almost awake for them..not talking lucid dreams..more like, when i wake, i don't feel ive had much of a restful sleep. its as if i have been dreaming or mulling things over in my head while another part of me was awake...i cant believe what I'm writing this - how bizarre to put this outloud. I wonder why part of me is on guard sometimes at night....sure i don't sleep deeply enough due to cortisol issues...um.
Do you have this at all?
Oh dear. Are you safe?
Maybe that sounded worse than I meant it to. Thank you for caring. Yeah, I am. I live with a narcissist, and life (especially life when I'm on break from work like right now), is a potential game of gauging moods, avoiding provocative discussions, and just generally avoiding any more contact than necessary. I'm sorry if I worried you.
"Do you?
Im not sure...ill have to have a think about this. I do think that perhaps there being 2 me's in a dream, one watching the other, represented depersonalisation. And maybe a part of me who is the observer self. I have issues with expressing anger, so i think the dream was perhaps showing that.
Um yes- in the dream, i remember wanting to touch the other me to see if i was real..but i was too afraid to as i was afraid the other me would attach me. "
Yes, i do. I was hoping i wasn't the only one because they seem so weird to me. They aren't quite like yours. Mine are more like having a dream that should be a terrifying nightmare, but I just done feel anything about it...at all. In my dream, I'm just like "okay, so this is life. I would really rather this person not shoot me."
"I do have dreams in which i know ive been almost awake for them..not talking lucid dreams..more like, when i wake, i don't feel ive had much of a restful sleep. its as if i have been dreaming or mulling things over in my head while another part of me was awake...i cant believe what I'm writing this - how bizarre to put this outloud. I wonder why part of me is on guard sometimes at night....sure i don't sleep deeply enough due to cortisol issues...um."
I've never experienced that, but it doesn't sound all that weird to me. I've learned that dreams can come in so many more forms than anyone ever tells. :)
I'm not sure why the quoting thing didn't work out right, but I figure out how to do it correctly tomorrow or something. Right now, it's almost 2am, and I probably should go to sleep, I suppose.
Hey Writetolife,
I honestly didnt think it sounded worse than it should have...like the dreams- i was terrified of my mother and tried to make my self small and hide in my room.
Its totally ok about my worry....and about caring- your welcome.
To me, living with a narc is not safe-not mentally safe and i am concerned about this...we are here should you wish to discuss anything. It sounds exhausting and i have been there myself.
QuoteYeah, I am. I live with a narcissist, and life (especially life when I'm on break from work like right now), is a potential game of gauging moods, avoiding provocative discussions, and just generally avoiding any more contact than necessary.
I understand what you are saying about your dissociation in dreams.
Do you think that its an aspect of you who had to accept a traumatic reality, and just *get on with it*...which could include feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness- *this is never going to change and theres nothing i can do about it* type of thoughts...maybe a part of you wanted to give up as it felt so futile...?
Since you wrote about your disassociation in dreams, i keep thinking that i *know* somewhere in my being, that i do have this. I have this in real life i guess...and when going through something traumatic....i do dissociate instead of freak out and feel like I'm going to die like i think i will if ..blank...were to happen...i just end up watching my life happen and its too late and too scary to feel the panic so the fear etc. naturally gets covered up by numbness.
The quoting thing! Funny you should mention you struggle with that-as i used to and only figured it out about a week ago...when ive been here for almost a year and a bit...
How to quote:
.Hilight the text you want quoted
.go to the top of the screen (where the emojis are)-
The first row of buttons above the faces-
Click the speech bubble picture that says *insert quote*
(on that row of buttons-
you have a row of 4- then 3- 3 again-
then- insert table- insert code - then INSERT QUOTE
I really hope this helps but if not, ill try and help you out.
I hope you slept well... :hug:
Dear WriteToLife,
I can very much relate to you. When I'm more stressed or more agitated, I wake up with more tension and ... well, not exactly a nightmarish feeling, but something a bit similar. More or less every day.
Recently I had a flash of understanding when one dream (that I had over and over again) changed. For me it has something to do with dissociation. I dreamt over and over again of moving from one city to another but could never get my stuff transported - it just wasn't there anymore when i would start the car or when the day of moving arrived. And then i understood that the dream was about memories, knowledge, feelings that I could not transport from one dissociated state to another - and I deeply felt i needed all my skills and memories. So the more dissociation, the more tension in my dreams, because i cannot get everything together in one state. When I got better, I didn't have to move anymore in my dreams, I could just take the cable car from one apartment to another :)
So i treat it as indicator of my degree of dissociation and try to soothe myself - yes, it's hard be split up. I hear you and it makes sense. I love you and you are precious. And then i try to be a "bigger self" (like in the focusing exercises of Ann Weiser Cornell http://focusingresources.com/?portfolio=get-bigger-than-whats-bugging-you (http://focusingresources.com/?portfolio=get-bigger-than-whats-bugging-you) ) and that helps a lot. I did the exercises quite often for two weeks, and then I felt dissociation becoming gradually lesser. I'll go on doing it and see how it works out.
I don't know whether it fits for your situation, you know yourself best. All good wishes!
A
Quote from: Sienna on September 27, 2016, 10:57:55 PM
QuoteDo you ever feel dissociated in your dreams? Like your life is in danger and you know it, but you just can't be bothered to care.
Do you?
Im not sure...ill have to have a think about this. I do think that perhaps there being 2 me's in a dream, one watching the other, represented depersonalisation. And maybe a part of me who is the observer self. I have issues with expressing anger, so i think the dream was perhaps showing that.
Um yes- in the dream, i remember wanting to touch the other me to see if i was real..but i was too afraid to as i was afraid the other me would attach me.
I do have dreams in which i know ive been almost awake for them..not talking lucid dreams..more like, when i wake, i don't feel ive had much of a restful sleep. its as if i have been dreaming or mulling things over in my head while another part of me was awake...i cant believe what I'm writing this - how bizarre to put this outloud. I wonder why part of me is on guard sometimes at night....sure i don't sleep deeply enough due to cortisol issues...um.
Do you have this at all?
Whoa, Sienna, I could have written this verbatim. This is my "almost every night". The only thing is that within the dream I don't think I have been conscious of the two me's, only upon reflection after waking up. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Quote from: 2Spirits on September 28, 2016, 07:10:05 PM
Dear WriteToLife,
I can very much relate to you. When I'm more stressed or more agitated, I wake up with more tension and ... well, not exactly a nightmarish feeling, but something a bit similar. More or less every day.
Recently I had a flash of understanding when one dream (that I had over and over again) changed. For me it has something to do with dissociation. I dreamt over and over again of moving from one city to another but could never get my stuff transported - it just wasn't there anymore when i would start the car or when the day of moving arrived. And then i understood that the dream was about memories, knowledge, feelings that I could not transport from one dissociated state to another - and I deeply felt i needed all my skills and memories. So the more dissociation, the more tension in my dreams, because i cannot get everything together in one state. When I got better, I didn't have to move anymore in my dreams, I could just take the cable car from one apartment to another :)
That's amazing. Congratulations! :applause:
I have also had a recurrentbdream theme change for the better since I started my recovery journey. It's the most empowering feeling, isn't it? :cheer:
QuoteDo you think that its an aspect of you who had to accept a traumatic reality, and just *get on with it*...which could include feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness- *this is never going to change and theres nothing i can do about it* type of thoughts...maybe a part of you wanted to give up as it felt so futile...?
You know, that makes perfect sense because that's exactly how my life has been for a very long time.
Quote
To me, living with a narc is not safe-not mentally safe and i am concerned about this...we are here should you wish to discuss anything. It sounds exhausting and i have been there myself.
Thank you for the support. You probably will hear plenty about it. I'm sorry you had to go through that though.
Quotei keep thinking that i *know* somewhere in my being, that i do have this.
I mean, I guess it makes sense that it it happens to us in real life it would happen to us in our dreams.
And thank you so much for help with the quotations. I think I got it.
QuoteSo i treat it as indicator of my degree of dissociation and try to soothe myself - yes, it's hard be split up. I hear you and it makes sense. I love you and you are precious. And then i try to be a "bigger self" (like in the focusing exercises of Ann Weiser Cornell http://focusingresources.com/?portfolio=get-bigger-than-whats-bugging-you ) and that helps a lot. I did the exercises quite often for two weeks, and then I felt dissociation becoming gradually lesser. I'll go on doing it and see how it works out.
That does make sense! Also, I signed up for the e-course to see what I think. Thanks for the suggestions.
Quote from: movementforthebetter on September 28, 2016, 08:51:13 PM
That's amazing. Congratulations! :applause:
I have also had a recurrentbdream theme change for the better since I started my recovery journey. It's the most empowering feeling, isn't it? :cheer:
Yes, it is :party: It's great to feel change for the better! I was so glad the morning I woke up with a different ending and a different feeling!
Quote from: movementforthebetter on September 28, 2016, 08:51:13 PM
That does make sense! Also, I signed up for the e-course to see what I think. Thanks for the suggestions.
You're welcome :wave: That opens up the opportunity to share experiences - If you want to, I'd really like to hear how it goes for you. For me, it's a great tool to build a "self" around all the sad, anxious or controlling parts that makes them experience being heard and being safe. And even a glimpse of this experience is really great for me!
Best wishes and thank you for bringing up this topic! :hug:
Writetolife,
QuoteYou know, that makes perfect sense because that's exactly how my life has been for a very long time.
Im sorry to hear that. I relate. :hug:
You are welcome for the support.- and thanks. Offload away, this is what the forum is for- if you wish to and feel comfortable doing so.
Hey!- you got the quotations! Thats so great! :thumbup:
Um yes, could be emotions we have disassociated from that come out in dreams. It makes sense- these feelings are scary ones- and they are hard to handle.
Writetolife..is this anything like what you experience?
Dreamed was back with narc X partner..
he was gas lighting me and he trapped me by putting some tables in front of me (that we never had in our house)
i said to him that he is gas lighting, that i know the truth.
He kept telling me i was angry but in the dream, i couldnt feel my anger at all.
(used to annoy me in the relationship when he did this)
Came to realisation through having this dream that he fed off winding me up and causing me to feel feelings.
I told him he was projecting- that this is projection, and he said that i am projecting onto him.
I told him he is a narcissist..and he told me that I'm the narcissist.
He walked off casually to bed with out a care
I knew it was ok and valid fro the support ive received of late, to feel angry, to express that rage inside of me.
However, i still held back, but wanted to throw and smash things.
Funnily enough, there was suddenly a stack of plates of bowles on the table near my punch bag, and i started throwing them with out a care.
I was numb. I was just watching myself do this.
How i am in normal life. i disassociate and come out of my body when i rage or try to healthily express anger.
so yes, i do have dreams in which i am disassociated.
Thank you for sharing you experience. That sounds so hard and living with that person must have been so hard. :pissed:
It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who dissociates in dreams, though. Thank you.
Hum yes, not the best of times. He found it hard living with me too. How crazy that i had a disassociated dream after we had talked about this- not maybe its not ironic at al! Maybe it being dissociation means that i rarely remember the dreams i have in which that happens.
:hug:
This is all a "little" confusing, isn't it? sigh
I know.... :hug: