Why is it so so hard tto pretend to be Ttee? When she leaves I I have to pretend I'm her cause she's got kids and a husband that ddont know about mme. It's hard to to be big though cause I'm llittle Ttee's daughter is almost 8 and and that's lots older than mme.☹️ She makes dinner for mme sometimes pancakes or a sandwich, but I I don't know how to make food. :Idunno:
*trigger warning I I fink *
I I hhate night time cause I I have bbad dreams and and flashbacks of mmmommy Being mean and really mad and mmmy bbbabyssitter pplaying the tickle game. So so I I scared to to sleep. ☹️🥺😢
I wish Ttee would sstopp leaving☹️🥺. She left when she had to do the heimlich on her daughter when she chocking cause it scared her.☹️ :aaauuugh: :'( :aaauuugh:
I'm so sorry little Tee. I wish I could help you, take some of the load off and let you rest and breathe. I know I feel half of the time like a little, I just don't want anything and just to stay in bed and without any responsibilities. It's very tiring.
Sending you a gentle hug if it's ok :hug:
Sweet Little One, of course you can't cook. You are too little to do that. It is very hard to pretend to be big.
I am so sorry that your mommy was mean and mad. That is really scary. Babysitter should NOT have played tickle game. Babysitter was bad, you are not. It is scary to sleep when you have bad dreams. Do you sleep with dolly?
I wish I was with you when you had bad dreams. I would hold you and rock you and talk to you until you felt safe. :hug:
Hi notalone,
*TW*
Sometimes I sleep with mmy dolly. Mmmy mm mmmommy got really really mad at me when I I played the tickle game she said I was bad and yucky and should go into the trash. If I I messed up or didn't listen or lllet mmy Llittle brother get hurt. Sssssshe would pull my arm really really hard, and spank me a whole bunch.☹️🥺 she didn't like when I cried, she would hot my harder if I I cried.
It sounds like you would be a nice mommy notalone I I think I would like you holding me and rocking and talking to to mme after I I had a bbad ddream. Thanks for the hug but I I am bbad Th that's why mmmommy doesn't lllove and and is spanks mme all the the time so I I would be bbbetter and not not be bbad anymore. :'(
Little One, Your mommy should have protected you from the tickle game. You did not do anything wrong. You are good and precious. It makes me really sad that your mommy hurt you.
I am a mommy. My children are grown up now. When they were little and they had bad dreams, I would listen to the dream (if they remembered it) and hold them and pray for them. When they felt safer I would put a blanket and pillows on the floor by my bed so they could sleep there, next to me. I know I'm not there with you, but if it would help you, you could think about me holding you. I don't think you are bad. You deserve to be held and loved.
:hug: thanks notalone I'll try to think of you and see if it helps. :Idunno: :hug:
:hug:
Sweet dreams, little one. You're safe, and you deserve to be loved and cherished. :hug:
:hug: thanks for the hugs notalone and snowdrop :grouphug:
I ddon't know what to to ttell Tee's H. He's asking why I I ddon't like mmy mmmommy, and if he is ggoing to bbe cclose tto mme anytime soon.☹️😔
It scares mme to to try to ttalk to him I I ddon't want him to to know me. I I ttry to just watch shows and rrest when she leaves bbut she was gone a lot today. 😢 :disappear:
I'm sorry it's scary, dear little one. Resting sounds like a good idea. I don't know what else to suggest at the moment, but I've been thinking of you. I want you to know that I hear you and I care about you. :hug:
Thanks snowdrop :hug:
I've been thinking of you too, Little One. :hug:
:blowup: mmy head really really hurts☹️😖😭 it it feels like it's gggoing to explode. As soon as Ttee got home from work she left. I ffeel sick mmy head hurts so much :'( :stars:
Hi notalone
:wave: Hello friend :wave: I am here too!
:wave: Hi Bach,
How are things going? :hug:
I'm so tired tonight bbut I I ddont want tto ggo tto sleep😣😫😭 it's to scary! :'(
Little One, I know that you feel afraid to go to sleep. That is so hard. I wish I was there to talk to you softly until you felt safe enough to rest.
Me ttoo notalone. :hug: I'm sso tired though I'm I'm going tto try ggoing tto sleep.😔😣😢. I hope it wworks. Nnight! :grouphug: Everyone!
Ttee went to counseling tonight. But the T wanted tto talk to mme. She told that none of the mean things my mommy said or called me are true. That my head hurts because it is fighting itself for what to believe the things my mommy said or the things my T says. She says that I'm not bad that bbad people taught me things little girls are not suppose to know. ☹️🥺 I think that the bad things that happened are my fault but she says that can't be true cause I'm just little. But I don't know :Idunno:
Hi Little One. (Is it okay if I call you "Little One"?) I completely understand how confusing it is. My Little Parts have had our therapist tell them the same thing. The adult me can tell you, your Mommy was broken. Not your fault. I know it is really confusing. Not your fault. You are NOT bad.
You can call me Little one if you want. I'm bad though I I did and ddo bad things☹️🥺 that's why mmmy mmmmommmy gets so mmad. Then I I I get in ttrouble and and she beats mme and tells mme how dumb I I am and and that's why I'm stupid and dumb and bbad😖☹️🥺😢 :disappear:
Your mommy should have protected and cared for you. I know it's hard to understand, but your Mommy was wrong to hurt you like that. I'm so sad that she treated you like that. If I was with you, I'd take you on my lap and tell you that you are a sweet, good, smart, precious girl.
:pissed: I I so mmad at Ttee she wwent to to the ddoctor and then left mme there. :spooked: I I was there all by mmmyself getting my mmommy parts squished. It hurt a lot and she she shouldn't have left me there :no: :pissed:
Can you tell Tee you are mad at her? I didn't used to know I could talk to Bach and tell her what I want but now I found out I can. She doesn't always listen but it makes me feel better that I can talk!
:Idunno: I I don't know how to to do that. She doesn't talk to me either. :no:
I I having a hard time right nnow. I I remembering things that are really bbad. That that make mme a really rreally bbad person. It's stuck in mmy head what I I dddid. I I nnot sure how to mmake it sstop. :'(
I'm sorry you have such bad memories, little one. I know how hard this must be for you.
What happened wasn't your fault. You're not a bad person. You're precious and sweet, little one, and I care about you very much. If you were here with me now I'd wrap you up in a soft blanket and read you stories. :hug:
TW
I I like stories bbut I I nnot deserve them I I nnot a ggood Little girl I I nnot ggood. I I was really really really bbad. He made mmade me ddo something really really bbad to to his little girl who was 4. I I nnot ggood ii rreally rreally bbad. I I should be be beat up bbad nnot snuggled. :'( :'(
He made you do it, little one. He was the bad person. Not you. You're not bad for doing what he made you do. He was older than you and should have known better. I hear your hurt, but it's on him. Not you, little one. :hug:
:no: :disappear:
Tee finished one final and had one tomorrow. She supposed to be studying be she so tired and worried about the test tomorrow she left. :Idunno: I I ddon't know what to to ddo. Mmy head hurts and she going to be mmad that she left and didn't study.😥🥺
You don't have to do anything. You certainly can't study for Tee's test. She will get through it.
:hug: thanks notalone she finished her tests. Not sure how she did. :Idunno: