1. Even if we do something "wrong" like forgetting the grocery list or missing the turn on the way to the airport, the person I am with is probably upset about the situation because it is inconvenient or stressful rather than angry at US because we made a forgivable human mistake.
2. I can and will protect you.
3. Tell me what's scaring you.
4. It is okay to feel sad, scared, angry, etc.
5. You feel this way now, but this is only now and it is not how you will feel forever until you die.
6. I love you.
7. I'm here for you.
8. What can I do to help you?
9. It's okay if you can only do a little at a time.
10. It's okay to ask for help.
11. Is there something we could do together that would help you feel less scared (colour, dance, sing, read a book, build a blanket fort)?
12. It's okay to NEED help.
13. I'm so glad you let me know you're scared and didn't pretend you were OK.
14. It's okay to NOT be scared. There is no reason to assume that feeling good will result in something terrible happening.
Trying counts!
You don't need to worry about _______, _________, __________ (adult things). I will take care of those.
Sometimes it seems like there are only bad people out there who want to hurt you, but I promise you that's not the case. There are good people too and I will help you find them.
It's okay to have angry feelings when you think about the people who hurt you. I know it's scary to have angry feelings, but having angry feelings doesn't mean you're going to be punished.
Thank you for starting this.
It has helped me today.
I'll add
...we can hide together.
I want to add another to the list:
It's okay to wake up after scary dreams, to feel scared and like you can't perform at your best. You don't need to worry about letting others down whilst in the state. You don't have to worry about feeling better immediately so then you can start listening, helping and solving other people's (very adult) issues. In fact, you don't have to worry about doing that at all, its not your job or responsibility. After bad dreams, you can lie here in bed, and I'll wrap a comfort blanket around you, with your favourite teddy, and you can snuggle up. When you want to eat or do something else, let me know, there is no rush at all.
I believe you.
No matter what anyone else has told you, you and your feelings matter to me, and I will protect you while you feel them.
I know this situation is scary and new, I know you don't like sudden changes. Do you remember the last time we had to deal with a sudden change? I'll be right by your side in this.
(sometimes I cup and pat my cheek with my nondominant hand)