Out of the Storm

Physical & Psychological Comorbidities => Co-Morbidities => Suicide Ideation/Self Harm => Topic started by: searcher_777 on March 28, 2020, 05:19:01 PM

Title: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: searcher_777 on March 28, 2020, 05:19:01 PM
Hello.
I hope you are well.  I also hope that I am posting in an appropriate area.
This is my second post on OOTS.  In the first, I prompted for information regarding clinical study trials relevant to cPTSD that include brain scanning and brain implants, which at this point I would seriously consider.
I am 60 years of age, am unemployed due to inability to deal the stress and pressure of front line nursing, have no health insurance, have been misdiagnosed, taken anti-depressant medications that nearly ended this being, practiced a variety of disciplines to address this disorder, can not connect with anyone or anything, and I continue to suffer with symptoms.
Perhaps the most significant symptom in the constant physical nervous system presence of imbalance that is so taxing and draining, and difficult to cope with each day.  I could offer much more regarding issues, but shall not at this time.  There is an emptiness at the center of this being where the energies of a human experience could be, and are not.  I experience that every day, and I am so weary of coping.
I consider that I have few options to pursue to end this misery & suffering.
Perhaps I am hoping that posting and any resulting dialoguing shall provide some benefit.
Title: Re: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: saylor on March 28, 2020, 07:10:07 PM
Hi searcher, and welcome. I'm glad you found us. I seem to be on a very similar path to yours. I left the workforce fairly young, due to CPTSD symptoms and feeling constantly triggered and overwhelmed. I can relate to all that you've posted.

I don't have any answers as not much that I've tried has really helped in any lasting way.

I will be glad to continue sharing with you, and hearing you. One of the worst things with this demon we're dealing with is to feel alone, unseen, defective. We do have each other, and that's something
Title: Re: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: saylor on March 28, 2020, 07:15:31 PM
I should add, as far as participating in studies, I've been keeping an eye out myself, as I'm also interested (especially in the potential for healing through careful administration of psychedelics, as they apparently hold much promise). But in my country, anyway, the only opportunities I've seen are studies that require that volunteers be veterans. I haven't seen anything for folks whose trauma is non-combat-related. I think this is because most funding for PTSD research comes from military budgets...
Title: Re: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: searcher_777 on March 29, 2020, 02:14:35 PM
Hello saylor.

I hope you are well.

I thank you for taking the time to read my posting, and offering your responses.  I really appreciate what you have written.
I shall continue to post, and hope that I benefit.  I thank you for allowing me to explore.

Your statement "I don't have any answers as not much that I've tried has really helped in any lasting way." is applicable to what I have done, and experience.  It is so disappointing to try so hard, invest so much time and energy, at times be guided down an erroneous path, and realize that if there are any methods to address this disorder to some extent, they are extreme, or unavailable to many.

The symptoms of this disorder have resulted in some incredible actions & decisions, that have resulted in significant misery.  This being pursues a pattern of self sabotage, and the results have to be addressed & coped with.

Please allow me to ask,  have you have experienced something similar that has affected your human experience?

Be well.
Title: Re: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: saylor on March 30, 2020, 03:30:56 PM
searcher, it has affected me in too many ways: relationships, work, school, sense of self, sense of the world around me. I was well into middle age by the time I was diagnosed, though I'd had symptoms for decades. I'm tired, disillusioned, and don't have a ton of faith that I'll ever be "ok", but I'm still searching, like you

I'm sorry that you're suffering, too
:hug:
Title: Re: becoming more difficult to cope
Post by: EdenJoy1 on November 03, 2020, 02:17:04 PM
Hi,

What you wrote I could've written. How are you?


Eden




Quote from: searcher_777 on March 28, 2020, 05:19:01 PM
Hello.
I hope you are well.  I also hope that I am posting in an appropriate area.
This is my second post on OOTS.  In the first, I prompted for information regarding clinical study trials relevant to cPTSD that include brain scanning and brain implants, which at this point I would seriously consider.
I am 60 years of age, am unemployed due to inability to deal the stress and pressure of front line nursing, have no health insurance, have been misdiagnosed, taken anti-depressant medications that nearly ended this being, practiced a variety of disciplines to address this disorder, can not connect with anyone or anything, and I continue to suffer with symptoms.
Perhaps the most significant symptom in the constant physical nervous system presence of imbalance that is so taxing and draining, and difficult to cope with each day.  I could offer much more regarding issues, but shall not at this time.  There is an emptiness at the center of this being where the energies of a human experience could be, and are not.  I experience that every day, and I am so weary of coping.
I consider that I have few options to pursue to end this misery & suffering.
Perhaps I am hoping that posting and any resulting dialoguing shall provide some benefit.