Out of the Storm

As you may or may not know, yesterday the World Health Organization officially declared the coronavirus a pandemic.  What this means is that it is expected to spread worldwide and that it is not a question of if it will spread, but how fast and how much.

In Italy and Iran medical services are taxed to the limit because the virus hit all at once and there simply are not enough resources to deal with so many cases.  Italian doctors have let the international community know the best thing we can do in other countries is to slow the spread of the virus, to "flatten the curve" of when and how many people need health care. 

Health organizations are now beginning to encourage us to prepare as much as we can and do what we can to slow down the spread or flatten the curve where we live (and we can!). Here are two articles about this:

https://www.flattenthecurve.com/
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/11/science/coronavirus-curve-mitigation-infection.html

My H and I are planning on stepping back from going out as much as possible because we are in our 60s and I don't have the strongest immune system. Yesterday we bought extra supplies for 2 wks to a month so we could stay at home and not go out.  We did NOT strip the shelves as others have done already (can't buy toilet paper or water here already even though we don't have many cases), we only bought what we thought we would need.

If we engage in panic buying and clear the shelves it will mean some people will not have what they need and will have to go out which will only spread the virus in the long run.  We really need to work together.  :yes:

So please read up and prepare, but do so wisely and calmly and think of others and what they may need.

Thanks kizzie
The UK supermarkets are finally limiting peoples shopping habits (now the shelves are empty...
On a personal level isolating is going to be a bigger challenge than I find it already with relational trust issues and now cfs and fibro I am limited...
I just need to keep looking at the ways I can connect and that this is another deepening opportunity to practice self compassion and the relationship with self... Hurts though not to have close people

So difficult having medical issues on top of everything else Boats :grouphug:  Coming here is one way of connecting so keep on posting  :yes: 

I thought maybe we could start using this thread to help one another with suggestions, info, support during the pandemic. CPTSD is an extra layer of trauma to deal with but there are things we can do/not do like using the time to work on self-compassion as you suggest Boats  :thumbup:

One thing I'm finding I've had to do now that we're as prepared as we can be, is step away from all the reporting on COVID and just watch updates. In Canada both our federal and provincial govts give a daily update on what's happening, what's planned, etc. You get the latest without being saturated by all the other news/stories.

I've also started looking for positive/interesting stories online to balance out the really difficult things we're all facing because it all gets to be too much, especially when we're all shut in and suffer from CPTSD. I'll post some links here and if anyone else knows of any please add to the list. 

Toward that end I found that people are starting Facebook/Instagram pages for their city/town so Boats you might want to see if there's one for where you are.  All kinds of "caremongering" (vs scaremongering) going on on the one for where we are and it's so reassuring, uplifting.

More than anything we can talk here about we are feeling. We all know not talking about feelings and stuffing them down is not the healthiest thing anyone can do.

I keep seeing people on twitter saying things like "Don't be scared, be prepared" so I keep tweeting that's it's OK and absolutely normal to be scared (and that we need to talk about it), but also we need to be prepared. 

I saw where the President of Norway held a news conference to answer childrens' questions  - no adults allowed, it was addressed just to children.  I say bravo for talking about it.   :thumbup:

I have to avoid television networks entirely because it feels to me like they are reporting on everything in as scary a way as they can.  Even the change to calling it "Covid-19" instead of Coronavirus feels to me like a hype move, because "Coronavirus" is more-or-less a descriptive term for what it is, while "Covid-19" sounds like something from a Hollywood disaster movie.  The sensationalism of the media is a double whammy for me because it makes me angry, and being angry makes me afraid. 

My email inbox is a nightmare because every single mailing list I've ever been on for anything is sending out emails about it no matter how ridiculously irrelevant it is to whatever their business is and how far they have to stretch to insert themselves into the dialogue.  Even a so-called mental health community that I belong to sent me a pile of emails and surveys about it.  I'm also trying to stay off Facebook, but that's harder because while seeing what people are saying about it is scary, somehow, not seeing it is also scary.

I want to check in with my people every day, and tell them I love them, but I don't want to be a pest and I'm always afraid to tell people I love them.

Watching animals is calming for me.  Here's a link of a senior beaver having a cuddle with a person - scroll to end https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/science-north-senior-wildlife-1.3858453

Yesterday there were two pigeons strutting around our garden/yard doing courtship, splaying their tails etc. I've never seen that before and I took the time to watch.

I haven't written in my paper Journal for about a month, but just an hour ago I started writing in it again. I notice I do have a lot of resilience now. I also note a change in me just within the past few days. Maybe I'll write more about that in my Journal here on OOTS, this thread is probably not the place for it, even if some of what I'm experiencing may be uplifting.

There are examples of help being reported and that's making me feel more upbeat. Just to think somebody is doing whatever to help their neighbours and themselves feel better.  https://www.today.com/health/trainer-leads-neighbors-group-workout-during-coronavirus-lockdown-t176027    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/14/solidarity-balcony-singing-spreads-across-italy-during-lockdown  In my town on Sunday evening there is to be balcony singing too "Ode to Joy", though in the original German. It's very well-known here. I don't have a balcony but I can just open my window instead.

Bach, my feeling is things are changing rapidly, people are realising the seriousness of all this and wouldn't think anything bad about being told they are loved. I can understand your fear though. I used to be frightened of even letting people realise I liked them or wanted to spend a bit of time with them in case it wasn't reciprocal and they were just allowing it but laughing up their sleeves at me because that's how some FOO mbrs acted and/or flying monkeys told me FOO mbrs had acted. If your people aren't emotionally abusive, then your reaching out will probably be really appreciated. But do take care of yourself above all.  :hug:

QuoteEven the change to calling it "Covid-19" instead of Coronavirus feels to me like a hype move, because "Coronavirus" is more-or-less a descriptive term for what it is, while "Covid-19" sounds like something from a Hollywood disaster movie.

In an effort to relieve some of your anger and anxiety, I'd like to give you some info.

Coronaviruses are named for the crown-like spikes on their surface. There are four main sub-groupings of coronaviruses, known as alpha, beta, gamma, and delta.

There are seven coronaviruses that can infect people. SARS-CoV-2 is the novel coronavirus that causes coronavirus disease 2019, or Covid-19. The World Health Organization, WHO, announced "COVID-19" as the name of this new disease on 11 February 2020, following guidelines previously developed with the World Organisation for Animal Health (OIE) and the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO).

 :hug:  Bach, I've stepped away from the majority of news - just get the daily updates now because its way too much otherwise.  We are also getting emails from everyone under the sun although fortunately most of them go to my H's account.  He forwards ones he thinks might be of interest or informative and I do appreciate those. 

For example, the ones from our grocery stores to let us know what measures they are taking to protect the food, customers and staff are great. What my phone company, cable provider, etc., are doing is of no interest because I can do what I need to online.  I I guess they feel they have to be seen as doing something, bad PR not to  :snort: 

BB, I love watching those videos of people singing/playing music from their balconies too - unfortunately we'd freeze to death if we did that here in most of Canada as it's still very much winter here  ;D  Can't wait until it warms up and we can go out in the yard, listen to the birds once they're back and see things growing/blooming.  For now we go for drives as we live quite near the Rockies and the views are spectacular. We're finding places to take pictures across four seasons as a way of entertaining ourselves.  We saw two coyotes yesterday  :thumbup:

I'm personally having difficulty sleeping right now, not triggered so much as really anxious about what's to come.  I'm hearing this will go on much longer than originally forecast and wonder what that will mean for all of us. The most recent thing I read suggests we will have to practice social distancing/isolation until we get a vaccine (up to 18 months but hopefully sooner), which is hard to wrap one's head around.

Be safe everyone  :grouphug:

Thank you for that information, Three Roses, and for the hugs and links and solidarity, Kizzie and Blueberry.  I'm really thankful for this community. 

I really need to work harder on not triggering myself.

Quote from: Bach on March 20, 2020, 05:51:07 PM
I really need to work harder on not triggering myself.

Would it help to reword the question? "Will _______________(watching the news, looking at facebook, etc) be a way of showing kindness to myself?"

Kizzie - I vividly remember the polio scare in the 1950s. Our family avoided social situations and even family gatherings. We got thru that, we'll get thru this too.  :hug:

Weird that I don't remember the outbreak, maybe because I was born in 1956, but I do remember the March of Dimes campaign. 

I was born in 1956. I also remember walking in a crowd of people into a local school to get our vaccinations, which were new.

Quote from: Three Roses on March 20, 2020, 07:45:09 PM
I vividly remember the polio scare in the 1950s. Our family avoided social situations and even family gatherings. We got thru that, we'll get thru this too.  :hug:

Thanks for this upbeat message!

____________________________
There were times yesterday when disbelief went through my head. This can't be real. But it is. How the pandemic is effecting me atm - from said disbelief to gathering all my resources and methods of resilience to giving me a spurt of motivation and will to get through this - that all reminds me of the two times I was retraumatised in the company of FOO. The first time I then totally dissociated for several weeks but came out of that asking "Did that all happen or was it a dream?" Before the dissociation though I was gathering all my resources and methods of resilience in an effort not to go under. The second time I didn't dissociate - the resource-gathering was successful.

As some mbrs have mentioned including you 3R, I think, some of the situation now might be easier for some of us because we're used to living rather socially-withdrawn. There may be other ways too though. Most if not all of us (I'd say 'all') are used to crises commonly-known as EFs + lack of help, inability to find a T or doc who has a clue etc etc. I think that may make some of us (possibly depending upon stage of recovery) more resilient in times of covid19 than we believe even ourselves and more than lots of non-cptsd-ers. At least some of the time. Maybe. Remind me of this when I write about next personal crisis here.  :disappear:

Ah yes, I do remember getting my polio shot and being none too pleased TR.  I didn't like any of the shots mind you, but am so glad (now) I did get them all.  On this topic, I can't help wondering if this pandemic will result in strengthening laws about being vaccinated.  COVID-19 is as contagious as the measles (for which there has been a 300 % rise in cases - https://www.vox.com/2019/1/29/18201982/measles-outbreak-virus-vaccine-symptoms).  If any govt was hesitating before I don't think they will now. I hope too that more funding will become available around the world for vaccination programs, if nothing else a pandemic shows us we must care for one another as a global community.   

QuoteI think, some of the situation now might be easier for some of us because we're used to living rather socially-withdrawn. There may be other ways too though. Most if not all of us (I'd say 'all') are used to crises commonly-known as EFs + lack of help, inability to find a T or doc who has a clue etc etc. I think that may make some of us (possibly depending upon stage of recovery) more resilient in times of covid19 than we believe even ourselves and more than lots of non-cptsd-ers. At least some of the time. Maybe.

Just talking about this yesterday and think similarly BB.  Sadly we are primed to handle threat, fear, emergencies, isolation  ... .  I can only imagine what it will be like for extroverts who thrive on social contact.  I'm seeing some creative ways of connecting in safe ways online -  https://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/connecting-digitally-through-song-and-dance-amid-covid-19-concerns-1.4858333.  When people are dancing on their balconies in Canada right now where it's still very much winter in most places, you know they're getting desperate ;D   

I also think as trauma survivors in recovery we're keenly aware of how important it is not to pretend we're OK and that we need to talk about how we're feeling as a way of mitigating the effects of trauma.  I've been tweeting about this quite a bit as I think it's something survivors can do to help others who haven't dealt with ongoing trauma like this before.   

Quote from: Kizzie on March 21, 2020, 04:44:07 PM
When people are dancing on their balconies in Canada right now where it's still very much winter in most places, you know they're getting desperate ;D   

:yes: But also creative, upbeat and good at grassroots mobilisation  :)

I saw your post on Twitter Kizzie, we are better than most at surviving, although, I must admit the sights in the supermarkets do discombobulate me so that I forget what I was there for and what I was meant to be doing.

On a positive note it has made me change my DD's fort nightly delivery of essential medical supplies to a month's supply with a week's buffer on top. Having a fortnightly delivery with a courtesy call from the delivery company to check my existing supplies beforehand was not helping my anxiety. They invariably reduced the amount of equipment when I told them what I had and then, when the delivery came and I worked it out I was ending up short and panicking and needing extra deliveries. Now I have it under control, I know what is on order, and I know not to give them information, I will just say I am not at home when they call me so I cannot check my stock.

My main worry is that with everyone home I will be stressed, I can cope with children at home and it will help not having the school run to do, but having my OH home can trigger me.

As I have had to cancel all my classes I am now trying to record some so I can share stuff online with those who have already paid me and maybe get some business from former students who have not been able to attend. It's a whole new learning curve. I managed to do one recording before my DD went into hospital but I haven't tried doing anything since.

I am glad there is this thread.
G

Validating video for trauma survivors from Dr. Karen Treisman about triggering/dysregulation/trauma responses caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. https://twitter.com/dr_treisman/status/1242437803021131776

Hi all
Checking in from the UK here...
We have had lovely sunshine this past week in line with going into lock down..
I was living a semi isolated life with M. E /cfs and fibro so in some ways I now don't feel as isolated but of course wouldn't trade my feelings for what is going on..
The UK are offering so much community support to each other... The government are paying 80% of peoples wages Inc self employed which is just incredible...
Everywhere has gone onto zoom and there is so much to keep occupied with..
On a personal level I feel OK, some days I get waves of fear but in general I have a lot of support esp from my recovery groups...
I hope u are all. Ok and sending my v best wishes to u in these times

QuoteThe UK are offering so much community support to each other... The government are paying 80% of peoples wages Inc self employed which is just incredible... Everywhere has gone onto zoom and there is so much to keep occupied with..

Same here in Canada. This pandemic is traumatic but I find one thing that's different from what many of us experienced with relational trauma is that there is a lot of love, care, concern, support, etc - something most of us did not have with relational trauma.

It was the same when I had cancer - proper treatment, care, support, etc and while very traumatic I came through it fairly well all things considered. I had the necessary protective factors to come out the other side. I didn't as a child and that made a world of difference to how I fared.

Came across this article this morning and TW, it does present a dire picture - "Coronavirus pandemic could inflict emotional trauma and PTSD on an unprecedented scale, scientists warn" (https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/27/coronavirus-pandemic-could-inflict-long-lasting-emotional-trauma-ptsd.html?__source=sharebar%7Ctwitter&par=sharebar).

Neria said that given the global scale of the current pandemic, it is likely that millions will need mental heath care. Right now, he said, the focus was not on mental trauma. But that could change.

This may be a turning point in terms of trauma treatment, services and support.  Everyone everywhere will know intimately what it's like to live with ongoing, overwhelming trauma and feel its impacts - physically, cognitively and emotionally.  As a result, it may be that much more funding will be made available around the world.

Those of us w/CPTSD have been an underserved trauma population, but things may indeed change as a result of this pandemic and that's a sad but oddly hopeful underlying note to the article. 

very true, kizzie. i've been reading more and more posts by emdr t's that trauma t's are needed around the world to minister to the health care workers now. this pandemic is blowing up mental and emotional stability like we haven't seen on such a scale in our lifetimes, i think.  sadly, yes, it is bringing to light how such ongoing trauma is affecting so many worldwide.  hopefully, some good will come from it.

We know better than anyone just how debilitating ongoing trauma is sadly. I've been doing my best to tweet about the toll ongoing trauma takes on front line workers, particularly those in health care, and encourage MH professionals to step up along with the rest of us to support them. I follow quite a few MDs on Twitter and even before the pandemic they were talking about problems with burnout, depression, suicide ..... It's going to get worse I fear. 

I know I am painting them with a broad brush but my impression is that they are generally perfectionistic overachievers with exceptionally high expectations of themselves and others in the profession, and hold themselves to a much higher standard than others. It's a recipe for disaster in this unprecedented global crisis.  They won't be able to maintain that in the relentless, life threatening trauma they are facing daily. 

I love seeing videos of people doing their level best to let them know we care about them and appreciate what they are going through. Every night here in many cities, police, firefighters, etc turn on their lights and sirens and drive by hospitals at shift change.  Heard one doctor saying how much it meant to him and his colleagues so we need to keep doing things like this because it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Quote from: Kizzie on March 29, 2020, 06:35:21 PM
This pandemic is traumatic but I find one thing that's different from what many of us experienced with relational trauma is that there is a lot of love, care, concern, support, etc - something most of us did not have with relational trauma.
...
I had the necessary protective factors to come out the other side. I didn't as a child and that made a world of difference to how I fared.

:yeahthat:

As far as I understand it, not all potentially traumatising situations lead to ptsd or cptsd for all people. It depends on how much innate resilience the person has, something that we as children had had no means to develop. It depends on how the person can deal with the situation now, e.g. are they capable of doing psycho-hygiene and do they do it regularly? Many in the medical profession possibly have no time for psycho-hygiene and/or self-care, but if they are already well-versed in it, maybe they can do it for 5 minutes a day, and it's enough?

From the Embodied Trauma Conference: https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13086.msg98100#msg98100 In the example earthquake, 80% recover immediately from the potentially traumatising situation.

I'm actually more worried that the reverse might occur, that as with wartime, people will say "we came through unscathed, why can't you get over your childhood?" without realising that the type of trauma is different. Ours is man-made, mostly committed by those who should have protected us.

Also the "love, care" etc. are mitigating factors, which the great majority of us on here didn't have. Or if we did have a little of it, it was far too little. The occasional caring words of a teacher or great-aunt don't make the trauma at home from FOO disappear.

True they are not suffering from the same kind of relational trauma we did BB, but the stress is traumatic ongoing, life threatening, extreme and none of us can escape it.  I don't think any health care workers save ER docs perhaps trained for this.

And even then, I watched a video of an Italian ER doctor last night who talked about how her team had only been able to save one patient and how profoundly it was affecting them. She goes home at night, sits on the couch, cries and cannot think or talk to her H and children. It sounded to me like she was dissociating because as we all know, it's what she needs to do in the face of overwhelming stress. 

QuoteI'm actually more worried that the reverse might occur, that as with wartime, people will say "we came through unscathed, why can't you get over your childhood?" without realising that the type of trauma is different. Ours is man-made, mostly committed by those who should have protected us.

I think Vietnam was the turning point when people began to understand that many don't come through war unscathed, and not just veterans but their families too (have read numerous stories of families living in fear and walking on egg shells because of the veteran's PTSD). That war was what prompted the APA and WHO to make PTSD an official diagnosis.

So my hope is there is already recognition/acceptance of PTSD and the pandemic will result in  greater awareness of how trauma like this pandemic impacts people because like the relational trauma we endured, it is ongoing, potentially life threatening and there is no escape. At the very least health care workers  are more likely to understand the conditions under which PTSD/CPTSD develop and they are an important group with respect to igniting change and to have in our corner.

I think of the anesthesiologist who asked me if I could leave my trauma in the past (i.e., where it belongs), and wonder if he will come to understand what it is like to be trapped in and exposed to trauma and never ask a question like that again when the pandemic subsides.  :Idunno:

Thank you for explaining it in more detail. You're right, nobody can escape it, nobody can think "I'm safe", especially not medical personnel since they face it daily.

You're right too, it would be good to have medical personnel in our corner, so we'll see what happens. Hope for the best outcome.

Yesterday I had a virtual therapy session with my new T to try it out.  She lowered the fee so now I can do a few more sessions for which I am grateful.  It went quite well (for therapy  ;D), and I'm going to keep doing it.  I feel safe with her already, moreso being at a distance than F2F so it's a good interim step.

Anyway, I mentioned the doctors & nurses I am seeing online talking about what they're going through and urged her to talk with her colleagues about providing mental health care pro bono because it does help to mitigate trauma and it is so needed. There have been a number of initiatives like this here in Canada but more is needed and not just here. She is very involved with ISSTD which is an international org so hopefully she will pursue it. Trying to do what I can is part of taking back power and control over this invisible enemy and I do find it's helping.  :yes:

How are all of you faring? 

Saw this article on twitter this morning and found it helpful - Guide to Staying Sane During a Pandemic (https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/03/a-therapists-guide-to-emotional-health-in-a-pandemic/608161/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share)

Of course, it's normal to feel anxiety right now, and while we need to allow ourselves the space to feel these feelings, we also need to give ourselves the space to let them go. Some anxiety is productive—it's what motivates us to wash our hands often and distance ourselves from others when there's an important reason to do so. If we weren't reasonably worried, none of us would be taking these measures, and the virus would spread even more. But unproductive anxiety— unchecked rumination—can make our mind spin in all kinds of frightening directions. Instead of helping us to stay grounded in the present—I'm safe and making dinner; I'm snuggled up with my family as we watch this movie; I'm writing this column—our anxiety spins stories about the future that go something like I or someone I love will get deathly ill from the coronavirus. This kind of anxiety causes us to futurize and catastrophize, both of which take up a lot of emotional real estate.

Another good article I read this morning: Agency in a Time of Pandemic. (https://traumahealed.com/articles/agency-in-a-time-of-pandemic/)

Recognize your agency

We can better withstand ongoing trauma when we have more resilience and resources. We are more resilient when we perceive ourselves as having agency: the ability to take action.... We support our agency when we own our skills and knowledge. A sense of agency says, "I may not know what to do yet, but I will figure it out." 

And another article - 3 Ways The Coronavirus Pandemic Is Affecting Trauma Survivors and Victims of Narcissists (And How You Can Cope) (https://blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2020/03/3-ways-the-coronavirus-pandemic-is-affecting-trauma-survivors-and-victims-of-narcissists-and-how-you-can-cope/#.XoX8OrDElcM.twitter)

....during this pandemic, we have yet to discuss the unique challenges that trauma and abuse survivors may face when they are forced to self-isolate more than they already have and encounter barriers in accessing the support systems they had in place in every facet of their life. Nor have we discussed how the pandemic may be worsening the behavior of those who often terrorize others during particularly vulnerable times – as narcissists are prone to doing. Although this is by no means an exhaustive list, here are three ways trauma survivors are being affected, especially if they are survivors of narcissistic individuals, and tips on how to cope.

Hi all how is everyone doing?
Just wanted to report from the UK
Hi all
Just wanted to post about the challenges of social isolation and cfs /fibromyalgia symptoms..
I mean covid or not my symptoms would be happening but I guess what I'm finding challenging is not having the energy to do as much stuff as I'd like...
Maybe doesn't help when I see Instagram /Facebook etc and people are jumping, dancing, singing, creating etc..
I can do bits of things and this is what I need to remember... Its not having the energy to go for a walk or bike which is frustrating.... Too much time in my head..
I seem to spend a lot of time in my mind thinking of all the things I want to do, used to do, it is all whirling around. I'm a creative type but get blocked although I am doing bits...
I guess it all boils down to the same ol same ol I'm not enough, I don't do enough blah blah...
I've just wrote lots of ideas in a journal and will work each day with a little plan and focus so I feel good..
Anyone got any tips experiences on finding it hard to focus, stay with a project, progress in hobbies?
Anyone else with physical health challenges?

I can't with the thing about being better equipped to cope with this because I'm used to being isolated, and with people offering me "comfort" by telling me that a lot of other people are feeling this or doing that right now.  I've realised from all this that on bad days when it seems like everyone I know (i.e., the people I communicate with every day, usually via remote methods) is having a bad day, I rely on there being a world out there where not everyone is traumatised and people are experiencing many different things to give me perspective on what I'm going through.  Yes, of course it's vital to have my people I communicate with who are in this trauma thing with me and can validate and empathise with me, but sometimes it's also really important that I should be able to reach out to my friend in Holland who I only speak to every few months, or check in on that person I knew in high school who posts funny things on Instagram or look at so-and-so's blog about whatever, etc., and have them have things going on in their lives that are totally different from what's happening to me in my circle.  In a way, perhaps, I resent that my sufferings are suddenly mundane and just what "everyone" who isn't actually sick is going through right now, and am angry knowing that if the pandemic went away tomorrow they would feel better while I would just have keep struggling with all my same old crap.

QuoteI resent that my sufferings are suddenly mundane and just what "everyone" who isn't actually sick is going through right now, and am angry knowing that if the pandemic went away tomorrow they would feel better while I would just have keep struggling with all my same old crap.

Good point Bach.  I hope more people, medical/MH professionals especially, will have a better understanding of the effects/toll of ongoing, life-threating danger which = trauma. Certainly trauma will be more in the foreground then it has been, how soon that fades is anyone's guess, but it is leaving a mark no question so fingers crossed it will mean more treatment/services/support for us in the future. 

QuoteAnyone got any tips experiences on finding it hard to focus, stay with a project, progress in hobbies?

I'm finding the same thing Boats so am just trying to accept it's a reaction to what we're going thru.  I have found if I make any projects smaller/shorter it helps, also not chastising myself if I can't concentrate as much.  Maybe just keep doing bits and don't watch too many of the active folks on FB, etc who don't have CPTSD?

:hug:

Quote from: Kizzie on April 08, 2020, 06:05:48 PM

QuoteI resent that my sufferings are suddenly mundane and just what "everyone" who isn't actually sick is going through right now, and am angry knowing that if the pandemic went away tomorrow they would feel better while I would just have keep struggling with all my same old crap.

Good point Bach.  I hope more people, medical/MH professionals especially, will have a better understanding of the effects/toll of ongoing, life-threating danger which = trauma. Certainly trauma will be more in the foreground then it has been, how soon that fades is anyone's guess, but it is leaving a mark no question so fingers crossed it will mean more treatment/services/support for us in the future.

I guess you're more optimistic and less misanthropic than I am, Kizzie, because I'm afraid that things will actually be worse for us after this because there will be all these people who THINK they know what we go through and thus will burden us with their "solutions" and then will blame us when we don't "get over it" like they did, or think they did, or think we should.  I'm going to try to look at it your way instead.

Meanwhile, one of the people dearest in the world to me is sick with what is probably Corona, and she seems to be kind of daring it to kill her.  She's an ocean away, so I couldn't go to her house and knock some sense into her even without social distancing.  I'm scared.  She has serious health problems, so for a long time I have lived with the possibility of her dying, but...now?  Now?  :'(

I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend Bach.  :hug:  Perhaps it might help both you and her to tell her how you feel, how much she means to you and that you are concerned and scared? What was missing for mot of us here was having someone tell us things like this but it's something we can give to those we do care about.

Quote from: Kizzie on April 09, 2020, 02:56:16 PM
I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend Bach.  :hug:  Perhaps it might help both you and her to tell her how you feel, how much she means to you and that you are concerned and scared? What was missing for mot of us here was having someone tell us things like this but it's something we can give to those we do care about.

I actually did tell her a few days ago after she started getting sick.  It was really good to be able to do that.  I'm sort of amazed that I was able to feel safe having that conversation, but that's her, that's what she and I are to each other.  I think it helps that we communicate mostly via chat and so I don't have to feel ashamed if I cry.

A couple of years ago she started sharing with me her thoughts of being euthanised because she was in so much pain.  It was awful to hear her say that and I wanted to change the subject or beg her not to do that, but it was really important to me that she have a safe person to talk about it with.  It was very painful, but that she came to me with it was also like an honour that made me feel very special and loved.  So I dealt with it, talked to my therapist about it, and eventually processed it to the point that I figured out a sort of plan for how I would deal with it if it actually came to pass.  Since then, she has come to me with those thoughts from time to time and I have been able to continue to support her, and she has been able to continue to want to live enough not to do it.  So with all this, I suppose that in all the ways I can be, I am prepared for losing her.  I don't want to, though, and definitely not to this.  I have some notion that I'd be more okay with her dying because she chose to than because this overwhelming thing that is already taking away so much takes her too.  Maybe that's not even true.  But I guess it is somewhat comforting to know that if she does go I will not have left anything unsaid.

That is such a difficult situation Bach but it sounds like you have helped her and yourself rather than running away from it. In my books that's really brave and what genuine friendship is about. :hug:

Hi kizzie /everyone
Yep I've set up 5 mins yoga and 5 mins art a day... This way I mostly do it and often leads to more....
Giving me a sense of achievement and consistency.
Today's been a good day... More energy and did some gardening...
I hope this finds u well and to everyone to find the support they need

I just now found this thread. :-). Here in the US it's been rough for a number of reasons.  In my household, it's rough on my son because he has autism, and he does not understand completely why he can't go back to his regular routine. 

Bach, I'm sorry your friend is sick.  Glad you have told her how you feel. I had a friend who wanted to die because of an illness and pain she experienced. It is really hard to love someone who is in so much pain and who has a desire to die.  :hug:

QuoteYep I've set up 5 mins yoga and 5 mins art a day... This way I mostly do it and often leads to more....  Giving me a sense of achievement and consistency. Today's been a good day... More energy and did some gardening...

That's great Boats :applause: :thumbup:   I've taken to doing chores in small bursts now too - took three days to finish cleaning the bathroom - spreads out the "I hate this chore" thoughts and feelings. ;D

Hey Allie  :heythere:  I've seen similar stories from other parents who have a child with autism.  One woman tweeted that her son was quite upset about not being able to go to the store to pick up groceries  as it was part of their routine so she sets up a store in her kitchen and he's able to 'shop' now. She included a picture of him and he looked quite content and happy.  I was curious if what suggestions there might be on the internet for parents in your situation during the pandemic and there's quite a bit, even some from Sesame Street - https://autism.sesamestreet.org/coping-with-covid/.  :thumbup:   

Quote from: Kizzie on April 11, 2020, 03:51:37 PM
I was curious if what suggestions there might be on the internet for parents in your situation during the pandemic and there's quite a bit, even some from Sesame Street - https://autism.sesamestreet.org/coping-with-covid/.  :thumbup:

I think the suggestions on the Sesame Street page are pretty great for anyone who is struggling with these big scary disruptions.

I'll check that Sesame Street link.  I just remembered that one of the characters has autism also. 

And yes, I'll bet it'll be good for anyone, autistic or not, having a struggle with disruptions.  Heck, I'm an adult who isn't autistic and I'm struggling with it!

 :grouphug:

Kizzie and notalone, my friend recovered!  :yahoo: :sunny:  Although of course none of her old problems are gone, I am thankful she is still here.  I think she is, too. 

Great news, Bach! :cheer:

So glad to hear this news Bach -  :hug:

So glad. Thanks for letting us know.

Great news!!  :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Oops!  Mistake post.

 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
That means too that not all of us with a weakened immune system must die due to covid.

____________________________________

*** TW *** face mask


I wear a hand-made cloth mask when I go to the shops or other places outside. Having a mask over my nose and mouth makes me want to hold my breath. Just wondering if anybody else is reacting that way too? Maybe it's some sort of cptsd reaction. afaik there's nothing in my past about me being smothered etc. during cpa and definitely not during csa. So it's not that.

Maybe just a claustrophobic feeling from having something over your nose and mouth?  :Idunno:  Not quite the same but I use a CPAP at night for sleep apnea and find I feel that way when I first put it on.

Yes, that could be, Kizzie. Would be the simplest answer and I didn't even think of it ;)
Thanks  :hug:

I've been watching all the protests in the US and elsewhere about being locked down and have had two reactions.  The first is that I know many people need to work to put food on their tables, pay bills, etc., so I understand why they are protesting to some degree. Here in Canada we have a solid social safety net and aren't getting much if any push back over lock downs because financial support was rolled out quickly.  Adult me understands this isn't the case elsewhere and that govts need to address this if their citizens are to comply with pandemic measures.

The second part comes from traumatized, younger me who feels such anger and despair when I see signs saying "I need a haircut" or "Give me liberty or give me death" - sentiments that reach inside me with a red hot poker of a message "You don't matter, no-ones does - only I and what I want do."  There is no reasoning with those screaming about liberty or haircuts and that takes me right back to what it was like as a child/teen/young adult - no voice or power in the face of trauma inducing behaviour.  I feel the same way about leaders like Trump and Brazil's president who deny/shirk responsibility/politicize the pandemic.   :pissed:     

I saw a meme yesterday of Darwin with his finger up to his mouth saying "Shhhh, I got this!" and to some extent it helps knowing a percentage of them are likely to learn a tough lesson.  At the same time it isn't just those protesters who will contract COVID, it's anyone they come in contact with.  That's the problem for teen me who doesn't quite know how to manage the feelings of anger,  powerlessness and despair this brings up. 

How is everyone doing? We are in wk 6 of lockdown in the UK.. Blessed with good weather at least...

I feel mentally fatigued, probably because I'm, in effect, doing homeschooling with a young adult with autism.  Although he's doing classes online, there are times I need to help him out.  Next week is their final week in school for the year.  My son's eligibility for public school services runs out in February.  We're working on getting him other services in the community. 

I'm also feeling mentally fatigued because of the attitudes of others, including those in leadership, that seem more concerned about creating wealth rather than preserving lives.  I know there are people who have to work.  I also know that contact spreads illness.  And I don't know what the answers are.

My husband is still home from work and has gotten no feedback on when he's supposed to go back.  He at least is still getting paid, and I am grateful.

 :grouphug:  Allie, it is such a tough time right now.  Did you find any sites for families with an autistic member helpful?   

Allie, I hope you can get some support and you'll be okay!


Of course, I hope everyone else will be okay too.




Just got word that one of my wife's coworkers might have it. Seeing that she works in a geriatric ward, that might be... very bad. I'm feeling pretty anxious and powerless right now and I can't imagine how she feels.


Yesterday my 60+ cancer survivor mother in law was talking about going to the Netherlands for a shopping trip because apparently she didn't realize that the borders are effectively closed. I wish people would just stay home if they possibly can.

Quote from: Panda on May 12, 2020, 08:18:18 AM
Yesterday my 60+ cancer survivor mother in law was talking about going to the Netherlands for a shopping trip because apparently she didn't realize that the borders are effectively closed. I wish people would just stay home if they possibly can.

:yeahthat: the underlined bit
:aaauuugh: :aaauuugh: for the rest

Hope it turns out your wife's co-worker doesn't have it and that your wife does not get the virus.

Here's an article my H found that is helpful for figuring out where not to go/what not to do as restrictions in many countries start to ease.

The Risks - Know Them - Avoid Them (https://www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them?fbclid=IwAR3t0fg3suD0RlDwYzfirXPb_FWDsCE_TASzcEwBMbhDJmnaQU-lVpvp5NU), by Professor Erin Bromage, a Comparative Immunologist and Professor of Biology (specializing in Immunology) at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.  The basic formula according to her is:

Successful Infection = Exposure to Virus x Time

Thanks for posting this Kizzie, I found it really helpful!

I thought it was good too BB, especially now that restrictions are being eased in so many countries.  I'm so glad it's getting warmer here and we'll be able to sit out on a restaurant patio for a meal as I don't think I will be going to any restaurant until I've had the vaccine. And I'll go in larger stores like Wal Mart (w/gloves & a mask), but no small retail unless it's to get something, pay and leave. 

Had the swab done yesterday and it wasn't too bad - they take it from the throat versus up the nose thankfully. Unfortunately it's a 3-5 day wait for results.  I had heard 12-24 and was hoping for a negative ASAP so I can legally go for walks, bike rides and drives again. Patience is getting to be a necessity in this pandemic  :yes:

Good luck with your test Kizzie,

I am negative, I was using an app to track symptoms and they wanted me to do a test as I had some symptoms, not a cough or anything. Must admit the test was not pleasant, made me gag and sneeze but, after 48 hours I was told I was negative. This is in the UK.

G

Tks Gromit, glad you hear you tested negative  :cheer:  It's such a relief isn't it?  :cloud9:
I got my results earlier than what I was told and they were negative too - just a cold or sinus issue I guess.  In a word, PHEW!