*TW - loss of pregnancy*
Just got triggered and am struggling.
Head not clear to go into any comprehensible detail, but my quest for motherhood has been dealt yet another blow.
Long story short, after a long journey of survival to return to a good place... And then pursue my dream of motherhood... Well
My years of trauma began when I lost a baby. A suprise but much wanted and much loved baby that was never to be. After about 8 years of fighting for my survival I finally got to a place where I could pursue motherhood again on my own.
Too late, I am now infertile. Spent a lot of time and money on treatment which needed to be done to gain some sort of closure.
Best alternative is to pursue being a foster mum, and I was looking forward to that. There is a massive shortage of foster parents for children in need.
I have been knocked back because I have suffered too much trauma, and it is considered a huge risk to my mental health. I have been triggered by this and am utterly devastated.
I am too damaged. We've come full circle with the fight to get back to where I wanted to be, and because of that fight i'm now too damaged to do what I ultimately fought to live for.
That's my little emotional crutch now, and I have to sit with that latest blow.
:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :grouphug:
So sorry. :grouphug:
Thank you for the hugs, I always enjoy a good cuddle x
Sorry for this weird update.
Strangest thing happened. After finishing one day devastated, I woke up the next (today) without a heavy heart. No spiral down into despair.
I had spoken with friends who have varying personal experiences in the area, and they found the assessment process and final decision completely off base. Today, when the shock wore off, I could see it as well.
I had an off day. Have reflected and learned from the experience, and will use this to continue to pursue this path another way.
I have to say that this is a long story cut very short. Despite the economy of words used here, this has been a very long, very carefully thought out and much discussed journey for me. None of this has been entered into lightly.
Whatever your path and wherever it takes you in this Contessa, I wish you only the best of outcomes :hug: