I'm really new to the concept of emotional flashbacks, and until now I've thought only my absolute worst episodes were flashbacks... but from reading some of the other posts here, I think people identify more than just the absolute worst as a flashback, so I've been wondering about some other things and trying to figure them out as well.
To have a flashback, things must be different now, right? How about something where you have never developed a better understanding/reaction?
For example, I can't stand authority figures. I was terrorized by the concept as a child. I still am. I remember when I used to drive, a police officer pulled me over for a minor violation once, and my entire body was visibly trembling just from her noticing me. I could hardly talk, or keep my hands steady enough to show her my driver's license. Logically, I understand it all... but I've never emotionally matured on this topic (I can't react 'normally'). So, it's not really a flashback is it, or am I just getting too caught up in terminology? What would you call this type of episode?
People seem to have different responses at different times, I know I do.
I don't know what term to use but I guess being stopped by police would increase anxiety into fight/flight. The trembling is adrenaline fizzing out of your system as you didn't need it in your muscles.
Maybe its what people describe as being triggered, it sounds like a physiological response to me, a natural thing even if unhelpful in the police stop context.
I would call it a flashback. In the present, you know that you have nothing to fear from this authority figure. However, your body reacts as if there is. Your body is flashing back to when authority figures meant danger. At that time you had no control. You had no way of escaping. The trauma (terror, fear of annihilation, etc.) didn't get worked out, so it has stayed in you. Trauma has no sense of time since it's imprinted in the amygdala and by-passes the executive functioning areas of the brain. That part of your brain doesn't realize you are now an adult who has more options for dealing with this potential danger, so it simply reacts.
At least, that's my understanding of how this stuff works.
Be gentle with yourself. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to react "normally."
Thanks, this gives me some things to think about. I'm going to think about this some more.
Spot on, Kat!