I've been procrastinating most of the time, latey. Playing games on my smartphone, watching series on Netflix and eating chocolate. It feels really unfulfilling, even while doing it. I do it in order to distance myself from my feelings, and not have to make hard decisions. I still see friends and do stuff in between, but it feels quite * to be regulating my feelings with some kind of addiction. I really feel I'm regulating my feelings because I'm not able to do it well by myself, and that's a big disappointment for me. The addiction part of it sort of makes me despise myself, and brings me down. I do it partly to stay alert, indirectly telling myself the world's a dangerous place, partly denying myself to wind down and just be. I would really like to feel some more self love and understanding now.
I hear you. Im in the same boat
It really sucks. Wish I could just snap out of it, but somehow it's not so easy... Hope you'll find a way out of it too.
I hope for the same for you.
:hug: :hug: to both of you.
I still use unhealthy ways to regulate feelings. Not all the time, but quite a bit of the time.
Big group hug!! I've had a Crap day myself and could use one.
:grouphug:
Hugs to you all :grouphug:
It feels nice to think that I'm in it with you! I'd love for that feeling to become more familar...
i'm in.
:grouphug:
here's to finding our way out and feeling more at ease by having more peace of mind.
:grouphug:
Yep, I am in that space too. Movies for me.
Same. Noticing this today has been stressful, heartbreaking and exhausting.
Been working towards mindfulness over the last few days. One step at a time, but want to get some grounding stuff and calm down again. It's too difficult to process alone. Thanks for reminding me :grouphug: lots of positive thoughts to hold on to as well.
I'm in the same camp. I thought I had an Internet addiction but on reading about C-PTSD, I realized how often I was turning to the Internet's endless depths of distraction in order not to sit through or work through an issue. I'd really cut down this spring but after travelling for a few months, I decided to settle down for a bit. It's been emotionally rocky and I've found myself just glued to YouTube or researching psychology material, even stuff I've already seen before, because it's calming and I guess I can't calm myself!
OMG, this is basically me. I do play minigames and watch series a lot, and also procrastinate, it is an adicction...
Hello everyone :wave: - I do this too, all the time. It's a perfect way to "maintain" in my world. I appreciate this post. Try not to be hard on yourself when you are doing it, as it is a coping mechanism. Yes, it's a form of addiction, similar to when I use to heavily drink alcohol, also as a way to maintain in my world. But I quite that thank goodness, finally. Someday we can get past this too.
WE are fortunate to have so much great support here. :grouphug:
Yes we are
Thanks all, for sharing. I needed to hear this today. I'd been doing this again a few days, before I finally managed to pull myself out of it a few hours ago. Basically, I was doing some mental escapism, from the perceived dangerous world - all the while staying alert, of course. Now, I'm able to relax, and I feel better with myself, even though I'm sad, afraid and feel worthless. It's heartbreaking to feel that I'm not able to handle life. However, I'm managing those feelings ok, right now.
I play games a lot, mainly because when I'm playing a fictional character, it seems that their problems are so much easier to fix than my own - and fixing their problems makes me feel satisfied and accomplished in some way. So I enjoy strategy games, roleplaying games, things that engross me and let me ignore the outside world.
That's kind of similar to me. I enjoy the clarity of the rules, so that it's really easy to tell whether I'm fixing it or not. It gives me a sense of safety, that I'm able to deal with «dangerous» stuff in the games. I used it to escape the outside world when I was bullied. Now I'm escaping my inside world of hurt feelings.
Not really able to calm my thoughts like that because any escapism seems to influence my thinking at the moment. Even good stuff, I'll find too funny and end up crying after. I'm exhausted.
I know what you are going trough. I have been there too some years back. Pointless grinding in WoW for 16h a day.
Yes games can be addictive, no doubt about this.
But more than often it is rather the mental state you are in and what you are playing.
Games are not alcohol. They are more like Netflix or Youtube. It's like the difference of hanging on Youtube for stupid prank videos or do something healthy and watch the Spartanlifecoach: not the same thing at all. So I agree with the statements above. This guys explain why:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T39kYzzv_3Q
By the way, if you love gaming but you are afraid of addiction, how about doing table top or pen and paper (online or RL)? Have fun playing with some strangers with little obligations or strings attached. Also, a rather indirect way to interact with people but personal enough to discourage the annoying trolls that populate MMO's :bigwink:
Restful - it sounds like you're in a bad place. I hope it's a sign that you're working through some tough feelings. It sounds as if your feelings are stronger than usual, both too funny and really sad. No wonder you feel exhausted.