I went to my sister's house for my great nephew's birthday. My mom was talking to the oldest great nephew, her great grandson (7 yrs old) telling him how adults don't like kids around. He needs to be quiet and not ask for anything. That little kids just get in the way and he needs to not speak, sit still, and stay out of the way. He is also looking at being held back a year. She told him he will be the oldest in class, will have to go to school with a bunch of little kids.
This is how I grew up. I didn't really get it until I saw it. I was so passive, I did everything I was told, and thought everything was my fault. If I was told to sit in a chair and stay, I would do it for hours. No wonder why I was victimized so many times as a child.
I pulled my nephew aside and told him that his great grandmother is just really old and doesn't understand what she is saying. I also told him being held back gives him more opportunities to do well in the future.
Wow, she sounds truly toxic! Good on you for speaking to him afterwards. And hugs for you, for seeing that and being reminded of your own pain. It's never easy :hug:
I'm so glad you were there to counteract her toxicity! Good job you. :bighug:
Quote from: Dee on July 22, 2017, 11:36:04 PM
I pulled my nephew aside and told him that his great grandmother is just really old and doesn't understand what she is saying.
:rofl:
Wish there'd been someone like you around when my own M was piling rocks on my young head.
oh my goodness, what a terrible thing to teach kids. That must have been so damaging to grow up with. Proud of you for stepping in for your great nephew.
:yeahthat:
Quote from: Dee on July 22, 2017, 11:36:04 PM
This is how I grew up. I didn't really get it until I saw it. I was so passive, I did everything I was told, and thought everything was my fault. If I was told to sit in a chair and stay, I would do it for hours. No wonder why I was victimized so many times as a child.
I'm so sorry this is what you grew up with. :hug: Some of that is familiar to me too. I tried so hard to be 'good' and if I could, then I would do it for hours on end. It's great that you can provide a different way of looking at it for your great nephew (and maybe for your inner child).
I think being able to see things from a different perspective helps. I blame myself for a lot of things. I've thought maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Now I know... I am so glad that I did not pass that on. I never wanted my kids treated like a burden.
That's horrible what happened, and your nephew is so lucky to have you there to counter what your mother said. Ugh. But I do get how seeing things from a different perspective can be helpful.
echoing what everyone else has said, dee. you did a wonderful thing for that child, something i don't doubt he'll always remember, even if only subconsciously. excellent job, dear dee. yay you!