I think I'm resigning myself to a lonely existence. My FOO is a mess, and I know now that the further I can get from all of them, the better. Most of my friends are terrible for my mental health, and I'm severely socially phobic, so making new ones and keeping them is a chore. And as for relationships... The only proper boyfriend I've ever had was an abusive, suspected NPD ogre who I only dated because I was scared of staying by myself. That ended over four years ago and the only interest I've seen since then was one guy who just wanted to use me to blow off steam and then ran off. No one wants to be around me. Very few people even make the effort to see me. I guess I'd better get used to being alone.
I hope you manage not to feel alone on here. I know, I know, it's not the same as IRL, but it is something.
You and I are not so different. I don't feel alone here, I have friends here. Also, I am going to chose to have a healthier life. It may meaning getting out and meeting people, I am going to do it. I am going to do it a little at a time. I might actually have to join a club, a book club sounds like a good start.
It is time - I decide. I am going to decide my friends and my family. I am going to decide to move forward and do what is best for me.
#songbirdrosa: It seems like you don't value yourself much or maybe you don't like yourself ? IDK, I am not you but I can hear how you talk so poorly of yourself and I don't think it's positive. This is how I feel. Are you in therapy? Because it would help to have someone who thinks at least neutrally of you in light of the fact, as you stated, there are many negative people in your life.
good luck.
Hi Songbirdrosa
I think we pull away into ourselves and into alone for a specific reason... for space to heal.
When we judge that alone space as a negative thing ( this is just stupid ignorance from the brainwashed world that we have adopted as our viewpoint) we delay the healing...
Nature is in us, the instinct to retreat to lick our wounds. Primal wisdom... if you have not read the book 'Women Who Run With The Wolves' ... please do.. it explains so much of this.
When I started to understand my alone state as essential, it changed my life...yours can too.
:hug: