Let me be honest since we now have this thread. This has been a huge issue for me. I stayed in the trauma unit for twice the normal time because it came out how bad I was. My inpatient treatment was really about saving my life. I spent the first couple of weeks working on suicidality and self harm only and trauma later. I can honestly say I feel so much better.
The first thing I learned is saying it takes away the power. I was never very honest about it because I was a afraid of what would happen to me and ashamed. When I got there I decided I was already there, so I spilled my guts. I now know to say it early. By doing this I take the power out of it. I am no longer worried of going to the hospital, because if I am honest, I most likely won't go.
I also learned the thought of is uncontrollable. So, I am not so ashamed of the thoughts anymore. I can chose my actions. I made a lot of plans and challenges to deal with it. We have three seconds to change a thought. I have all kinds of reminders around my house now. I have cards to keep with me.
My best advice is to say it and be honest about how you feel. Dealing with it head on is the best way. I also know there will be dark nights, but now I can tolerate it. It isn't completely gone, but I can manage. I felt understood.
This is wonderful. Thanks for saying this and helping to give hope to others.
Dee, you've been thru so much. You are one of the bravest people I know, and I'm proud to call you friend.
Welcome back.
Dee, glad to hear the thoughts of suicide don't tidal wave you anymore. Going through a hospitalization must be hard. You can be proud of yourself. When you feel it, keep saying it.
Lingurine