I've been reading Pete Walkers book about complex ptsd , I try to read a few pages each day and really let the understanding sink in. He talks a lot about the healing power of grieving and just allowing yourself to have a good cry. I've discovered that this is very hard for me to do! I can cry but I cant really just let out a deep wail.... even in therapy the tears just sort of seep out of my eyes and I very rarely let them even roll down my cheek. Im embarassed I guess. I don't think I ever let my inner child come to
the surface and cry.... just can't do it. Anyone else have trouble with this?
Yes, I'm hoping to talk with my therapist about this. Walker states the importance of grieving, angering and crying, and I can't do/feel any of them. :Idunno:
i think we've been bullied, humiliated, and mocked so much when we've had our natural emotions and their corresponding behaviors, like crying, that we've had to shut them off out of survival. i do believe, tho, that as we progress in recovery, those walls will be taken apart brick by brick, and we'll get our whole selves back. i have faith. i think talking with your therapists is a great idea. eventually, you'll find that safe place within yourself where you can allow you to be you.