Hello,
This is quite scary, but I want to introduce myself.
I have not officially been diagnosed with C-PTSD but I have been doing a lot of research and I know I have many of the symptoms.
I was in an abusive relationship a couple of years ago. After I finally got out of the relationship I eventually discovered that my ex has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Everything started to make sense and I began my healing process after slowly realizing I wasn't crazy and doing a lot of research. Discovering C-PTSD has been a bit of a shock for me and difficult to accept. I know I have much more healing to continue and I think joining this forum will be beneficial for my healing process.
I am in college (where I met my NPD ex) and have a class with my ex, that I need to take this semester to get my degree. I struggle going to the class quite a bit as I have been practicing no contact and trying to avoid as many reminders of the abuse as possible. I try and tell myself to be strong and that I have a right to be there and should not be forced out by fear of him, but I really struggle just sitting in the same room as him. I know I am so fortunate to have gotten out of the relationship when I did and am hoping by connecting with others and learning more about my C-PTSD I will be able to move forward with healing.
I would like to see a therapist to help sort through what I am going through but my health insurance plan does not cover it and I cannot currently afford to pay out of pocket. Any advice on this or knowledge of resources to help pay for therapy appointments?
Thanks for reading.
Hi Sam-I-Am :wave:
Welcome to Out of the Storm. Quite a history you have had.
I can relate to having been in the hands of Narcissists, and I'm pretty sure that being raised by one (undiagnosed) and having a few other 'difficult types' in my Family Of Origin (FOO) has been a major source of me being affected by cPTSD nowadays. Like you, I don't have an official diagnosis either.
Since you have identified yourself as someone suffering from Complex Post Traumatic Disorder, or CPTSD, we want to make you aware of a couple things as you settle in.
In the cPTSD Glossary (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/OOTS_Glossary.html) you may find a lot that may resonate with your experiences. A few highlights to start your journey with:
On cPTSD (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/index.html)
On Boundaries (http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/Boundaries.html)
It must be quite hard to sit in class with your NPD-ex. Perhaps the technique of Medium Chill (http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-chill) may help you cope a bit more. The same site has other good tools on how to deal with Personality disordered people in your immediate circle.
I struggle financially as well, so I can't afford a Therapist either. Alas, no tips and tricks to overcome that. Perhaps self-study will be a good start without a T. But I guess that's best done after this semester and/or after you will have your degree. ;)
Welcome again, I hope and wish this place and community will give you comfort and be of aid on your journey through cPTSD. Our Guidelines for All Members and Guests (http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=1616.0) are here to ensure this a safe environment for you and it will give you an idea of the community we create with each other.
:hug:
Dutch Uncle.
Hello Sam-I-Am & Dutch Uncle. Regarding finding a therapist, Sam-I-Am, have you checked with your college's health clinic to see if they know of a psych clinic that works on a sliding scale? When I got out of the NIMH a couple of decades ago, I was referred to the county mental health clinic and ended up with a great psychiatrist and great clinical psychologist, who thought my then gf, now wife, had BPD, but I was dealing with my bipolar illness and didn't pick his brain. Even a hospital with a psych unit might be a good resource for either one of you to find a clinic with a sliding scale. I'm fortunate that my psychiatrist and T take Medicare. Keep looking. I have treatment resistant ultra rapid cycling bipolar, along with suspected C-PTSD, according to a T I was seeing this winter in Florida. Therapy is the only treatment that's keeping me from crashing and burning.
Just talked with a neighbor who usually isn't talkative, but she suddenly tells me she was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD, resulting from an abusive marriage. We bonded very quickly.