I haven't been on in a while. i had been feeling confident in work and i was getting more clients. i started making a website. i felt like basically i was over that "can i do this" obstacle.
i have a new client who is very heavy and has some emotional issues. she wanted to come in four times this week. her mother questioned whether thats a good idea and i said it's ok but my reasoning was sort of motivational. i felt like if she's motivated enough to come that means she really wants to lose weight and is depending on me. i could have/should have said once a week is enough but i didn't. i guess i thought she's young and she keeps saying she feels fine and will tellme if she has pain.
anyway today she said her knees are throbbing and i feel like i shouldn't be doing this. one day i feel like i am the greatest thing then the next day i feel like i shouldn't work at all. i don't think i should be trusted with anything.
hey tired, i hear you, i know it's horrible feeling like this, it throws everything up in the air and makes it so hard to feel confident. :sadno: :sadno: sending you :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: to encourage you.
don't forget tho, all the times you have had these self-doubt times with clients and it's turned out so much better than you feared. you are a good and responsible trainer, and you have good gut instincts. so i would think that if you follow what your instincts say with this lady, you will find the confidence coming back. you are good at this, tired. i believe that. keep hanging in there :yes: :hug:
thank you
she didn't actually think that i caused her knee pain. she came back the following week and even though her back hurt she scheduled three sessions, came for two of them. so i felt a little better about how i am perceived by her, at least.
last month a client gave me a check and i wasn't sure at that moment if i had offered her a student rate . she paid me the normal rate and i took it and didn't ask her. i felt weird telling someone oh i have a student rate but you can't have it. last night she asked me very politely what my rates were and i said oh no are you a student you over paid me. then i said ok then i owe you four sessions because you paid for four, but paid double. then i realized, i should give her a refund. so i texted her just after she left and said i can refund you what you overpaid and you can pay as you go because i don't expect you to pay in advance ( many people do but i don't expect her to , because she cant afford it). she didn't answer and at first i thought ok shes driving home then when i didn't get an answer i felt bad.
i feel like i should have said something when she first paid me . but i get so so so uncomfortable getting payment. and people always say i don't charge nearly enough even my regular rates. i go back and forth between wanting to charge whats fair and not feeling like i want any money at all. if she never paid me i would still trainer her. in fact ive done that.
last week she told me how i'm a very strong person and she admires me etc . the client before her always goes on and on about how great i am. and yesterday continued on about how i'm a great trainer. my client friday said i'm good at what i do. a client two weeks ago said i'm very resilient. (I sometimes talk about my personal life).
i just don't know what to think or feel right now.
i have this chronic feeling of failure and i have to prove to myself that i'm not and it's not possible. i alternate between feeling stupid and feeling maybe a little grandiose.
Finding quiet time to be still - that's a good idea . When I imagine doing that in real life I panic but I know it works. I feel like when I've taken time to settle down and reflect things go well. But sometimes I don't allow that.