I found myself in the undertow of an emotional flashback the other day. Although I am not completely through Peter Walker's book, I have read about the EF's. I have had these for forever and never knew what the heck they were. Well this time when it happened, I recognized it. Recognized the over reaction to what had happened and was able to put it into perspective. What a sense of power. Where before it would have completely pulled me under, this time it did not. I was able to work through it in much less time and get on with it. Like they say when we can name it we can tame it. YES! :yes: :yes: Baby steps! ;)
Fairyslipper observed:
"Recognized the over reaction to what had happened and was able to put it into perspective. What a sense of power."
:applause: for that, fairyslipper. Along with the EF's are all those habits we accumulate over time. Going back to the original incidents of abuse, we quickly don that protective armor the next time anything remotely resembling "trouble" comes along.
I should know, I went into a retreat style of life 40 years ago, but the EF's just followed along anyway. Still, as you say, just having a name for them helps, and if one can learn to deflect their influence, it creates that sense of power you speak of. It still takes some effort, but knowing the power on the other side makes it worth trying.
Still wish it didn't seem so daunting to shed the older habits, but it helps to see your encouraging discovery. Congratulations and thanks for sharing with us. All those baby steps...
:yeahthat:
yay, :yahoo: go, fairyslipper :hug: :hug:
remember the famous Armstrong quote," one small step for a baby, one giant step...."
woodsgnome, YES that is exactly it. It is so exhausting and just undoing really to have to sink to the bottom every time something happens that causes one and then slowly climb your way back up to repeat yet again and again. It gives you such a hopeless feeling. That power definitely does. Had it not been for the book, I don't know if I would have even made this baby step. I had heard people talk about them but had no idea what they really were. I am so thankful for learning this. :yes: Thank you so much! :hug: :hug:
arpy1 Thank you!!! :hug: Ha ha Exactly!!!!! ;) :yes:
:cheer: such good news!
Thank you Butterfly ;) :hug:
Just saw this FairySlipper - congrats :applause:
Couldn't agree more when you write, "Like they say when we can name it we can tame it.," It does make such a big difference when you realize it's a common symptom and not that you are crazy or falling apart or whatever. :thumbup:
Exactly! ;) And each step forward like this is so empowering. :hug:
It is empowering I agree. I used to be so afraid of having an EF I would trigger an EF by remembering how frightening and out of control I felt in past ones. Weird little cycle that. :stars:
Now when I have one (few and far between and much milder nowadays) or feel one coming on, it's like "I can handle this, it will pass and I will be okay" which in and of itself seems to reduce the intensity.
:hug:
fairy slipper that is fantastic! :applause: Congratulations! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Thank you for sharing this empowering experience.
:yourock:
Congratulations! That is very encouraging ;D ;D :thumbup: