Recently I've found that seeing my T once a week is really not enough. She is only accessible during sessions. As most of you know when we get something on our mind we need answers rather quickly. So I enrolled in a couple of online therapy courses for a week. It's calmed me down knowing there are places to get information and support. The forums are good but so much time can lapse in a response or either the responses are just not at the level you need. So does anyone else have multiple T sources they use? If so do they know about each other? I'm not sure I should tell my T I have enrolled in these other counseling sources. Though it is just a trial.
I've never had 2 T's simultaneously, although for a while I attended a series retreats hosted by a person who wasn't an "official" T. She was as qualified as any T, in my uneducated observation, had a very caring and knowledgeable approach. These were 5-day intensive 5-day retreat-style events limited to 6-12 people. Not quite the same as 1 F2F T session per week. The best part was her fee--the client decided! She admitted it was a gamble but always did alright doing it that way.
I recall telling a couple of T's I was doing the outside workshops, and their response was sort of "that's nice, hope it helps; let's see now, your fee today is..."
I do admire your skepticism that surfaces about T's; I feel the same bumpy sensations about whether they're in it for their clients or ...you know the rest.
Along those lines, my own feeling at this stage is that I'd tell the current T what was going on, and most importantly, why. It might be a good gauge of how much she's really tuned in to understanding your needs, given that she's made it plain she's unavailable other than via the sessions. If she's put out by what you're doing, after you explain, it might be a sign she considers her way the only way.
Thanks for posting about the online possibilities. I'm currently without a T, muddling along. Even the T's I had probs with at least were a sounding board, sometimes. Unless something changes, there are no good options for local "live" T's here presently. Plus I never seem able to get past my natural hesitation around people, T or not, in person.
Well last session she came in saying she didn't have time to read over our notes from last session and she sat reading out loud some things we talked about. I understand they get busy, and this is the first time it's happened, so we will see what happens next session, tomorrow. It did make me feel less important that the other clients, but I'm trying to let that go and trying to understand she was just busy. I guess I'm just looking for that prize T that actually cares about the client and is fully engaged in the healing process, maybe that's too much to ask for.
Thank you Southbound for the response
Just got a call from work who said my RTW form had no accommodations or restrictions on it. How can you go from having restrictions/accommodations to nothing if nothing has really changed in your mental health issues? It terrifies me, I still panic when I have to leave the house. I'm just beyond devastated today.
Yes, a return to work form. Last one had accommodations to be in less stressful environment, to reduce hours also addressed the fibro and chronic pain. This makes it sound like all that is cured. http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/Smileys/classic/sadno.gif
I had agreed to try to go back , but under the accommodations and restrictions of the previous RTW note. But my doctor just sent a RTW note to the employer with no accommodations or restrictions. So they could make it very bad for me which I am expecting since I have been out for so long.
could you call your doctor and query it with him? maybe he made a mistake? sounds like it wouldn't be feasible to try to go back without any thing in place. good luck, i really hope it gets sorted for you, becos it's very scary for you :hug:
I second Southbound's suggestion: keep notes of every exchange, promise, or misunderstanding. Attach dates to your notes. Include who said what. Sorry to sound directive, but I've done a little advocacy.
Ideally, you'll never have to refer to what you write, but if you keep track and (let's hope not), the return to work goes badly in some way, you'll have more options.
Thanks everyone for the info and support. My PCP called and was irate. She said she sent the note in with no restrictions because last time they would not let me return to work with those restrictions. (?) and this was true at one point, but not the issue now and she should have at least discussed this with me before making such a decision. That would have opened Pandora's box at work, they could have put me on 12 hr. shifts in the morgue, just to get me to quit. Her decision really wasn't taking my welfare into consideration. Work was very suspicious and I don't blame them. She asked me what I wanted and I said just add a date to the previous return to work note, that's all the employer wanted from the get go. Between this and all the media coverage about the shooting I took a Klonopin and laid down, slept too long but feel better now. That's only the second one of those I have ever taken, not something I want to make a habit out of. So as far as I know she is sending the original RTW note back with a date on it. Will check with the employer tomorrow. Thanks again everyone.
Okay one trial period is over for the online, using Lantern. Not that impressed, will not continue.
Still using the Online-Therapy.Com much more informative, still too early to tell if it would be worth while to continue.
Do you discuss any paperwork your T turns in on you? The Insurance co. that keeps with holding my LTD, sent a form to my T to fill out about me, at that point we had had maybe 4 or 5 sessions together. Really still getting to know each other. So supposedly in this paperwork she said she found that I had no disability due to PTSD, and that I could return to work in a less stressful environment. This is coming from my PCP. My counselor and I still haven't gotten into the deep issues. So how can she make a determination like that with so little information? With trust already being a big issue she's not making it easy for me to trust her.
I see my therapist once a week. I also joined a self help group that deals with mental issues called Recovery International, and I go to their meetings weekly.
Doing both has helped a lot. I leave major issues to my therapist, but the group has helped me handle the day to day problems much better.
Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking. The only problem is I need to write down what I tell who so everyone will be on the same page. The online counselor gave me a meditation thingie to do this weekend, going to give it a try.
No, we haven't discussed any paperwork that she has turned in today I got a copy of what the doctor sent in as a RTW note, earlier this week. I just think the T should hold on to making such comments until she really gets to know me and the situation, that's all. Of course there may be big changes coming anyway. Just found out can't have MarketPlace Ins. (ObamaCare) and VA access to health care, so I have to make that decision as to which one to keep. If I keep VA which I am leading towards I will have to use VA doctors. So much going on to make a decision about.
Oh yes, big decisions are horrible and dealing with paperwork. Just trying to focus on what you are reading can be very hard. You are so fortunate to have a T you trust so much. You are right I am developing big trust issues with this T and I doubt we will go much further. Maybe this insurance thing will be a blessing and get me out of this situation with her.
I don't feel angry with her, I was hoping this would be the person that could direct me to where I need to be and how to do that. That's all I wanted, no type of therapeutic relationship, no more than I would have with anyone on a business transaction. So she is being who she is and I can't fault her for that. It would be nice to find someone like you have found though.
The same thing happened with the other T, my first f2f t. She was really nice and I fell into the trap of thinking she cared. After a few sessions she changed, then decided I wasn't ready for counseling. I guess my requesting things to work on between sessions got to her. But I too, felt let down, abandoned, and hurt. So with this T I haven't provided information she hasn't asked for, not requested something between sessions, just kind of rolling with the flow on what she wanted to know and talk about.
I agree about the first T, just wish she had told me sooner so I could have saved that $150 a session money for something else. But that's the past, gotta move on. The T I'm seeing now, is very nice and knowledgeable and even offer to read the P Walker book, though I don't think she has because it's not showing in her understanding of what I'm going through. I think most counselors approach CPTSD as PTSD and that's not going to work, I don't think. This lack of understanding the whole concept and complexities of it is so unfair to us. But to be fair I think I need to talk to her about my concerns, I may be leaving her but maybe she could be more helpful with the next CPTSD client.
Well I emailed my T and asked her about the Pete Walker book. She hasn't read it but maybe she will return it tomorrow since I said our sessions were coming to a close. She actually sent me an email back saying okay and thanks for the heads up. Usually she gets bent out of shape about emails. I do like her and if she had the knowledge of what I was going through I feel sure we could make progress. But since I am dropping the BCBS ins and keeping the VA coverage I will have to use a VA counselor. I may be able to see her a couple more times but the ins. should stop at the end of Sept.
The online counselor has actually been pretty good, she has given me a lot of useful advice. I'm more of a "just the facts m'am" type of person, you can spare me the I care, I'm sorry, that's terrible types of counseling. Just tell me what I need to get better :)
Still working with work and the LTD, very stressful. Now the employer wants me to come in to look at jobs that I might be interested in??? This sounds a little odd. She could just email them to me. So they must have something up their sleeve. We had agreed that she would do that, email them to me, then all of a sudden that changed and she wants me to come in to her office to look at jobs. Doesn't sound good.
Call the VA and as usual can't get an appointment with a counselor till November. They really need to work on this system. Canceled my apt with the counselor here for , today, just too much to do right now getting ready for vacation and deciding if I will take Dad's ashes with me this time. Leaving the house so stresses me out, it's almost not worth going on vacation. I will be okay once I get on the road, it's about 4.5 hr drive there. I hate being in a car that long, but hate stopping because it delays getting there.
Anyway, the online counseling is over for now. Fairly impressed with this last one. May reopen it when I get back.
Thanks SB , yes it is a nice place we are going. I need this time away. We will have computer access but hoping to not use it :)