Hello everyone,
I am writing from Italy and my English is rather rusty, so I hope I can express myself clearly.
I have suffered greatly psychologically since childhood, which led to a rather extreme crisis in early adulthood. Unfortunately, none of the psychiatrists and therapists listened to me, so all the therapies were ineffective. This lack of listening and inadequate care caused further trauma, partly because some of them did not behave professionally. In particular, the public health service, which was supposed to provide free therapy, refused to take care of me and forced me to see a Kleinian psychoanalyst of their choice. The result was terrible, and the situation worsened when the psychoanalyst violated professional confidentiality to pressure a psychiatrist, through a third party, not to treat me. This event left me not only discouraged by the ineffectiveness of the treatment, but also frightened by the malicious intentions of some professionals. For several years now, I have been seeing another therapist, who immediately recognized the post-traumatic nature of my problems, but the psychiatrist who was treating me at the same time did not take this into account (he diagnosed me with type II bipolar disorder). Today, I am looking for a new psychiatrist. Unfortunately, it seems that psychiatrists specifically trained in C-PTSD are quite rare, at least in my country. Twenty-four years have passed since the problems became so severe that they prevented me from living a normal life, and today I am terrified about the future. As for the past, I oscillate between moments of extreme depression and others of great suffering and anger, with frequent flashbacks.
I am really afraid, and I have many regrets (would things have been different if someone had understood the nature of my problems right away?). And I am very lonely, with no contact with anyone who may have had experiences similar to mine. I don't know if writing in a "global" forum will help me, but it's all I can do for now.
I may return to the nature of my traumas, especially those from childhood, at another time. For now, thank you for your hospitality.
Hi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Erec :heythere:
Your English is great so I wouldn't worry about that. I'm sorry that so far you haven't had much help from therapy. Here in Canada psychiatrists are like gold and when you do manage to connect with one they mainly deal with medications. I see that there are lots of psychologists in Italy and you can search for one here - https://www.therapyroute.com/therapists/italy/1. They can't prescribe medication like psychiatrists can, but some are likely to have at least some training about trauma. It's still a bit of a hunt in some countries (for professionals trained in complex trauma), but they are out there.
In the meantime, I hope being here and sharing about your trauma will help you to feel less alone. Many of us have found that it is a relief to be a part of a community that 'gets it' and I hope that's true for you.
:grouphug:
Kizzie
Thank you. My psychotherapist specializes in trauma, with training in certain techniques (particularly Mindfulness and EMDR). The problem here is the psychiatrists who are supposed to manage the pharmacological side: many are not particularly aware of the nature of post-traumatic problems. Just today I discovered that there is an association in Milan that deals with trauma, but I think it's the only one at the moment.
(As for the English: I'm getting help from DeepL, my brain is too tired to produce anything comprehensible.)
Thanks again for the welcome.