Hi everyone, I'm Marcine and I'm glad to be here. A bit about me...
When I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa 35 years ago, my perspective on the world and my life expanded massively.
Since then, my healing journey has led me through talk therapy, a CPTSD diagnosis, cancer treatment, martial arts, and time in wilderness.
Building self-trust and managing emotional flashbacks continue to be challenges.
I long for authentic connection with others, even though I fear being fundamentally unworthy. I'm ready to face this and experience the truth for myself. That's why I am here.
Thank you for reading.
~Marcine
Welcome to the forum, Marcine :heythere:
I resonate a lot with the fear of being fundamentally unworthy. My fear has greatly reduced over time though, partially through being here on the forum.
I think we do have authentic connection with each other here on the forum, altho of course I understand wanting to have it IRL too.
I hope you can feel the support here on the forum too.
Hi Marcine and a warm welcome to OOTS :heythere: I'm glad you found your way here and please know that so many of us feel/felt the way you do - unworthy and lacking connection. I hope being here helps you on your path to recovery, to know you are not alone and that it isn't you, it's what happened to you (from a book by Christine Courtois).
Thank you for the welcome, I appreciate it! :wave:
Hi Marcine,
Welcome. :heythere:
Hope
Hi Marcine,
You sound like an amazing person. Congratulations on your progress and your journey!
Jack
Thanks, Hope.
And thanks, Jack. It has been a journey, sometimes I'm not so sure about progress... I've got enough decades under my belt to be able to rattle off a list of chapters in my life, but the truth is I haven't found my place in life. It's like being a misfit or fighting a strong current, even though I cherish the adventures and the learning.
And it's pretty lonely in the dark moments when I grapple with the sense that I'm doing life wrong, which slips into feeling like I am helpless and worthless.
I don't talk about this much. But it feels ok to share it here.
Quote from: Marcine on May 21, 2025, 02:47:48 AMThanks, Hope.
And thanks, Jack. It has been a journey, sometimes I'm not so sure about progress... I've got enough decades under my belt to be able to rattle off a list of chapters in my life, but the truth is I haven't found my place in life. It's like being a misfit or fighting a strong current, even though I cherish the adventures and the learning.
And it's pretty lonely in the dark moments when I grapple with the sense that I'm doing life wrong, which slips into feeling like I am helpless and worthless.
I don't talk about this much. But it feels ok to share it here.
Welcome to the Forum, Marcine. Your post really struck a cord in me. I really feel what you wrote. For me discovering Cptsd was a watershed moment. I'm still pretty lost two years on but I at least have a framework from where I can work. And sharing what we're going through here on the Forum is pure gold, it's helped me so much. Reading what you've written I feel less alone. Thanks and hugs if that's ok
:-)
Chart
Quote from: Marcine on May 18, 2025, 09:09:43 PMBuilding self-trust and managing emotional flashbacks continue to be challenges.
These are challenges for many, if not all, of us here.
Welcome. I'm glad you found us.
Thanks, Chart and NK. I'm glad I found you all, too :grouphug: