Here is a thread in which you can record 3 good things, large or small that happened in your day. It focuses us on the fact that even on bad days there are usually some good things that happen. On really good days it reminds us that we are moving out of the dark storm of CPTSD more and perhaps that our EFs are fewer and less intense. And how good is that?! :cheer:
1) After a couple hours lying down in collapse/shutdown, I got up again
2) I'm focussing on the loving memories between me and an elderly friend, rather than on anything her adult children are saying and I'm cherishing the last lovely and surprisingly clear phone call I had with her about 5 months ago
3) I opened my attic windows to air the place - the outside air is warmer than inside atm - and I have managed a little housework
1) Long lie-in this morning
2) Went to a drop-in half hour sing-along this morning, which was fun
3) Being in the warm sun while out and about
4) Had a nice chat with a friend after the sing-along
That sounds good blueberry.
1. I worked. I am so happy around these kids. Or actually, I was so sad that I broke down crying on the toilet twice. But they lifted me up enough to keep going. And be a bit better now. I get free hugs and sweet words. And it just is the best job.
2. I spoke to my friend. She is the sweetest. We've known eachother for more than a decade.
3. At work a new kid got an epileptic attack. When I was alone at the group. I stayed extremely calm. And acted well. I soothingly talked to him, put him in a safe position, then got a colleague and instructed her to watch him, then quickly got another colleague whom I know is trained to deal with epilepsy. I felt proud that I was able to act calmly in a stressful situation. And help him.
1) It's a beautiful, fresh day, and the sun is shining.
2) I got to try purple sweet potatoes for the first time. I've been wanting to try them for years.
3) Been reacquainted with some old books that were in storage. Didn't realise I missed them so much.
1. I'm discovering great music. Music is a lifesaver.
2. I went to the nature area nearby with kid, ex and his daughter. We had a good time.
3. I feel bad. But I managed to get up and do what I needed to do.
1. Weather nice again.
2. Ate some strawberries.
3. Planted some seeds.
1) It was satisfying :hoovering: :hoovering: the dust bunnies - the way they all got sucked up and disappeared
2) It was good I got up at all today
3) Looking at a postcard near my computer - green, hilly country interspersed with trees and houses
1. I felt horrid today, filled with selfhatred about things I truly did wrong, yet I managed to get out of bed and work. All day. With the teens at daycare. And was cheered up a bit.
2. I bought yellow Tulips to brighten up the home for me and kid.
3. I got back 1200 euro from taxes. It all goes to paying off debt. But it saved me from "bankruptcy". Lawyer, medical costs, energy bills, clothes for kid. All paid. Just a few more months and we are cleared. If i manage things well.
4. I let kid choose either a gift or a day out together for his birthday. He choose the shared activity. I feel honoured and happy he likes to go out together.
5. Someone helped me with my garden. It was overgrown and the trees and bushes needed to be cut. Now everything is clean again. I am happy and grateful. We can plant a few nice flowers for spring.
1) It was sunny today
2) I made it to my appt on time
3) Looking at spring flowers in the garden
1) The friend I'm staying with over Easter made a big pot of vegetable soup today - tasty, filling and healthy.
2) I peeled and chopped the carrots for the soup while sitting at the table. It was good to feel I could do something useful!
3) We played Rummicub this evening
1. I am working again for 3 days a week.
2. I spoke to a systems therapist who will advice CPS and I spoke up in a nuanced way. CPS said she had a good feeling. The systems therapist seemed to hear me, and understand certain dynamics. F.e. she said they see strength in the children who develop problems, because they are often the canary in the coalmine, exposing the broader family problems. Being the ones who notice, reflect and speak out. She also spoke up to CPS. CPS said they will take my son's opinion about where he wants to live. The systems therapist said she hoped CPS acknowledged that he had been with granddad for a while, and it wasn't always clear what was his own opinion and granddad's opinion (I had said there were alienating dynamics).
3. Kid and I laughed and joked and teased each other.
1. I managed to soothe myself after being triggered by something.
2. I felt connected after a longer period of disconnection.
3. I feel genuine love and appreciation for who I am.
1. I worked and it was great. I love it.
2. My current job is nice, but unpaid. I get disability funding. I maybe can have a paid education in this field, and work paid. I have an interview on Friday.
3. I feel calmer now that I decided to not let dad intimidate me into silence. Speak up. And focus on my own goals.
1. we washed the bedsheets
2. the dishes are almost all clean
3. we ate breakfast today
1. I had food poverty for a while. There is enough for kid, but not for me. Especially if I do something extra for kid. Like a birthday present. We have a place where you can get free food. If you need it. It is like a tiny supermarket. But the food is donated and often a day over date. Or with small spots. Or a brand they get rid off. Or whatever. I cried in the supermarket. I came back with two big bags of food. Enough for a week. That is more than I had for a long time. I ate dry rice very often lately. I can shop there every week.
2. I am happy that I can openly cry. The supermarket lady comforted me. And said many cry there. Maybe it is weird. But it is so freeing. I was never allowed to express myself. So I couldn't connect. Now I can be me. At home I needed a mask, but in the world I can just feel and be. Many people are so much safer than my family. :))
3. I came back. I had to walk for two hours with big bags. Nobody offered help. Big grown men walking past me. Not helping. But the last few meters my little neighbour girl of 8 or so years old asked me: "miss, can I help?" I said it was too heavy. But she proudly said: "no miss, I can do it." I praised her for her kindness. How sweet is that. They are part of a minority. Visibly (black, little girls wearing a headscarf). Many here look down on them. But she was one to see I struggled and care. How sweet is that. I thought of the story of the Good Samaritan.
I also thought of my brothers. They shout how loving they are. Unconditionally loving. But they spend tons on fancy designer clothes. For their baby. When their sis can't eat. They don't even care. I had to think of the "who is your neighbour" question in the Good Samaritan. It is obviously the little girl. Not my brothers.
Those are some lovely Good Things, Matilda, especially you realising the support you got outside FOO, from the 'free' supermarket lady and your little neighbour girl. So heart-warming.
____________
1) I decided on second thoughts to go to a short peace prayers group today after all and it did me good
2) Receiving support and kindness in unexpected places, from unexpected people
3) It's enough to have just 2 Good Things sometimes.
Sounds nice.
Coming from a trauma background I feel I always am super grateful when people show kindness. In unexpected ways. Happy you have similar experiences.
1. I worked. We did creative stuff. I totally love creating things. And the mentally disabled teens I work with. My family is adamant they are much smarter than others. But I prefer working with these girls. They are very open and direct. Haha..I used complex sentences and they said: too difficult!!! Just pure. I also feel accepted. They are welcoming.
2. I have a volunteer helping with my finances. She came by.
3. I'm sorting out the dad feelings. But at least I succeed in not showing him emotions and vulnerabilities anymore.
Reading the posts brought to my mind a new level of gratitude for everyday good things— and it feels really nice as an antidote to catastrophic-fear thinking.
For me today, I enjoyed taking some deep calm breaths.
And a second good thing today, that might seem counter-intuitive, was getting a root canal on one of my teeth :yeahthat:
I've never had dental work like that before and it was a bit gnarly at moments, but I was in the good hands of a competent professional and his team.
I felt an ability to trust their skills and I really appreciated the compassionate care and clear communication. Surrendering to the process felt safe and smart. I don't often experience that! So, yeah!
And a third good thing today was hugging my kiddos.
Good wishes to you all :cloud9:
1) I listened to some favourite music
2) I decided against doing something planned in the evening because I was far too tired after all
3) Two are enough.
Just one for today:
The scent of some peonies out of the garden permeating my apt. Been strengthening all day and now in every room. Mmmmmm :cloud9: