Hey all,
I'm back after first joining in 2019. Figure it warrants a re-introduction. Formally diagnosed with CPTSD, of which I thought I was "cured" of after finishing 3 years of therapy. However, recent events and a bit of introspection has led me to finding forgotten memories and trauma, and I've gone back into therapy with suspected DID/OSDD. I also unfortunately have developed chronic pain this past year which is another thing adding to the stress. :fallingbricks:
But despite all this, I believe I am still doing better than I was before. Constantly learning, slowly healing...
Some other little tidbits about me: I work as a Senior IT Officer, have been in a long distance relationship for 9 years, and I can type 120 words-per-minute. I'm also a member of a few state government LGBTQIA+ reference groups - and am a big advocate in promoting the safety and wellbeing of queer individuals both in my local state and online.
Regards,
Aphotic (formerly Complex/Perplex)
Hello and welcome (back)! :wave: I hope you will find the support and unconditional acceptance I found here so far :)
Welcome back Aphotic. Sorry to hear about the chronic pain, that can definitely bring up trauma. I had heard of DID before but not OSDD - something new here every day as we all learn more about complex trauma. I hope being back at OOTS gives you some help and support.
Cptsd is sneakily persistent sometimes. If we don't just give up entirely, we find out that patient learning might indeed be a part of the healing we still need.
Welcome back to a safe haven where you're free to continue learning, and yes -- heal. :yes:
Quote from: Dalloway on June 22, 2024, 10:04:08 AMHello and welcome (back)! :wave: I hope you will find the support and unconditional acceptance I found here so far :)
Thank you kindly, Dalloway. I am hoping the same!
Quote from: Kizzie on June 22, 2024, 02:42:48 PMWelcome back Aphotic. Sorry to hear about the chronic pain, that can definitely bring up trauma. I had heard of DID before but not OSDD - something new here every day as we all learn more about complex trauma. I hope being back at OOTS gives you some help and support.
Yes, I find the same - complex trauma is so well, complex! I'm constantly figuring out something new about the concept itself and myself in turn. Thank you for the re-greeting!
Quote from: woodsgnome on June 22, 2024, 06:39:15 PMCptsd is sneakily persistent sometimes. If we don't just give up entirely, we find out that patient learning might indeed be a part of the healing we still need.
Welcome back to a safe haven where you're free to continue learning, and yes -- heal. :yes:
Thank you! Sneakily persistent indeed! Patience is another key, yes definitely.
Regards,
Aphotic.
Welcome back Aphotic,
Therapy only works for a time, and then (as you found) new stuff bubbles up. There's hope. It's not all "whack-a-mole." Over time, you change, life changes and things look better overall.
Congrats on hanging in there for your long distance relationship. Sounds like you're staying engaged with others which makes a huge difference. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Quote from: Lakelynn on June 23, 2024, 07:29:43 PMWelcome back Aphotic,
Therapy only works for a time, and then (as you found) new stuff bubbles up. There's hope. It's not all "whack-a-mole." Over time, you change, life changes and things look better overall.
Congrats on hanging in there for your long distance relationship. Sounds like you're staying engaged with others which makes a huge difference. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Thank you kindly, Lakelynn. (I love the name by the way)
I am thankfully yes still attached to my current partner, though struggling to establish any other kind of relationships - that is partly why I am back here actually.
Unrelatedly, I found an old account of mine that I had forgotten about. So there's two of me, which coincidentally fits with the whole... me-suspecting-DID thing pretty well. ;D :doh: I'll be using this account from now on instead because it has more history attached to it.
Welcome back, AphoticAtramentous! :) I did wonder if new Aphotic might be old AphoticAtramentous. Seemed too much of a coincidence.
Good to hear of what all you've achieved since you were last here :applause:
Hi Aphotic,
Welcome back. I joined two years ago,and have been progressively healing from CPTSD since. I suppose it's something that never really goes away completely, but like losing a limb, we can still learn to live good, productive lives even while dealing with the stubbornness of CPTSD.
I look forward to future interactions with you.
Quote from: Blueberry on June 25, 2024, 10:41:07 AMWelcome back, AphoticAtramentous! :) I did wonder if new Aphotic might be old AphoticAtramentous. Seemed too much of a coincidence.
Good to hear of what all you've achieved since you were last here :applause:
Thank you Blueberry, it is a pleasure to see you again! I am in awe of your commitment to this space. I hope it's been serving you well all this time.
Quote from: Papa Coco on June 25, 2024, 04:18:36 PMHi Aphotic,
Welcome back. I joined two years ago,and have been progressively healing from CPTSD since. I suppose it's something that never really goes away completely, but like losing a limb, we can still learn to live good, productive lives even while dealing with the stubbornness of CPTSD.
I look forward to future interactions with you.
Thank you Papa Coco, glad to hear of your own progress. But yes, it really does feel like I've lost a metaphorical limb. And oh such an invisible disability at that. At times I found myself sometimes actually forgetting I even had CPTSD. But I find these things come in swaying motions, sometimes I can feel "normal", and sometimes I feel like the world is crushing me. Though I may be here because of the latter, I've immediately felt a sense of calm since rejoining. My chronic pain has even quietened down a little (for now, heh).
Regards,
Aphotic.
Good to know the chronic pain is settling down a little. Those victories point to progress and although not STUNNING, it's enough to give a some space to see and feel other things.
I'm glad you found your older account. It's comforting to join the old with the new.
I hear you about relationships.