first date jitters
looking up i find comfort
among the stars
when i was young, i built a child-sized rocket for space and time travel, discovering distant places
where my memories could no longer hurt me.......
at first i thought him charming
his smile disarmed
and I felt this need to nourish
a starved yearning
i wonder if he knows...
that this innocent trust we'd built
between drinks and conversation
gave me hope
i want to tell him
that i'm a tiny astronaut
i wonder if he knows though....
when he tried to unbutton my shirt
that flinch of defensiveness
was not foreplay
I wonder if he knows....
that his hot soured breath
sticking to my neck
while he tried to kiss me
sent me back
to that place from before I mastered space
i wonder if he knows ....
my hate for the scent of pine
that i can still feel the needles pricking my face
as the shadow's weight held me down
and i tried not to suffocate on dirt
does he know what it's like, to float away, weightless
and find yourself at ease in the void
i wonder if he knows...
me walking away, filled me with tears
not for myself
but for the boy who couldn't
all those years
i wonder
That is so beautifully written.
As NarcKiddo said - so beautifully written and filled with emotion. Your poetry is so moving
This is beautifully written. The tiny astronaut analogy depicts the naivety & innocence of a child escaping while the more mature version of you is stuck in the tiny spaceship still trying to protect yourself wondering if they notice & they do. Then they take advantage of innocent, naive and vulnerable you.
I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. You are a pure precious angel and you're loved. Nobody deserves to be hurt, violated or abused.
Beautiful and haunting at the same time Awb. It seems to me you know you don't have to be a tiny astronaut here, that it is safe to speak of such things and you don't have to go away here.