Mother, can you hear me? Can you see me at all?
Am I too tiny?
You can see all the wrinkles in the sheets but why not me?
I shouldn't be so whiny.
I bathed and brushed my teeth.
I did my best to look clean.
Am I still so ugly that it's painful to look at me?
I dare not cling to your leg or cry for help at all.
I know that you don't like that... But I feel so sooo small.
I'm too little to understand but I know if I reach up you'll swat my hand.
I'll wait until you're finished doing your important grown-up things,
until you've hung up the phone,
until the neighbours have left,
and until we are all alone.
I don't want to embarrass you or make a scene.
I won't interrupt.
I promise you won't see me.
I'll listen out from the other room to know if you're in a mood.
Creeping out quietly, not a squeaking of a door, lifting my feet gently, not dragging my feet on the floor.
I know you don't like that.
I just came to say that I have put away the dishes and tidied up the bed.
I'm sorry.
I've gone and I've made you mad again. I forgot the rules.
I'm sorry but sorry isn't enough because I should know better,
I am four years old!
I forgot that it's quiet time now, and you need to unwind
from all the grown up stuff that I don't understand.
Maybe if I bring you crisps or make you some tea,
I can make it up to you and you could forgive me.
I'm a big girl and I'll be a grown up one day too.
I will learn someday how rough it must be for you.
I promise I will listen. I'll go to bed without food.
You don't need to tell me. I already know.
See I am a big girl too.
One day I'll be better, I promise you Mummy.
One day I'll make you proud.
I'll go away forever then I'll never be too loud.
Wow! I felt the pain behind your words. That little girl needed love and tenderness. She needed to know she was seen. Thank you for sharing that.
That resonates. It makes me want to cry. Heck, it has made me cry. No little girl should have to think such things.
Very well written.
:grouphug:
Bermuda,
That's a very powerful poem. Very powerful. I'm nearly in tears. Thank you for sharing it.
It tells the story so well.
:hug:
Your poem is beautifully written and so moving. Thank you for sharing.