Hi All,
My mom passed away about a week ago. She was the source of so much of my emotional pain- I yearned to have a mom, and my mom was schizophrenic and in boarding care homes and mental hospitals since before I was born.
I'm feeling relief and that some of my depression, which I attributed to maybe weird brain chemistry, was directly related to the ongoing troubles I dealt with in relation to her. She was a kind and gentle soul, but she always left me feeling abandoned.
I'm so sorry to hear this freelancebaby, it's hard at any time of the year but especially so at the holidays. I lost my mom about a month ago and I understand the mixed feelings to be sure. Big, warm hug if that's okay. :hug:
Sorry to hear about your mom passing, too. It's comforting to have someone relate to the experience, even if it's one of complexities. Hugs back.
:hug:
Very much relate. My mom, diagnosed bipolar byt very likely schizoaffective, was also the source of so much distress and died a couple years ago. Somewhere on the blog section of this site I wrote about the shame I felt around being so relieved at her death.
I just drove by the beautiful stunningly beautiful place in nature where I recently scattered her ashes and I couldn't even look at it and felt intense anger when I drove by, and yet I consider myself a kind person. It really is confusing and I am so sorry for your multiple losses and griefs, whatever the underlying nature of them.
Thank you for sharing this, Armee.
I am sorry for the troubles you have had to endure, and I am sorry for your loss.
How are doing freelancebaby?
Hi Freelancebaby,
I am also sorry for your loss.
Hope