I am in two groups at the moment, one F2F and the other in person. Now these are both therapy groups run by professionals so it's not the same as meeting in a group of just survivors but I see some promise despite or maybe because of my experience in these.
I never wanted to be in a group except like OOTS where it was completely anonymous and you could login whenever and read and post. And don't get me wrong I still see such value in this style of support group, but as I move along in recovery I found myself wanting a bit more personal connection although I am a wee bit nervous about this understandably as groups have not gone well for me because of my lack of trust and fear of getting hurt/rejected.
However, the two groups I'm in have been surprisingly comfortable and I don't think it's because they are facilitated by therapists so much as it just feels so good to be with others who are like me, who know what I'm talking about, who want the same thing as me (connection, support, warmth). I usually feel like an outsider in groups and I don't feel that way in either one. It makes a difference being with peers.
Anyhow, I have been considering trying out a Zoom group here, one in which no-one is "in charge" but more of a collective in which members decide what they'd like to talk about from week to week. I have an app I used with another group (work related) I belonged to in which members were in different time zones and it helps to pinpoint a time to meet that works for the majority of members (if there are some members who are interested).
Would that be of interest to anyone here? If so, please post here or PM me. I am thinking of a group of 5 or 6 so it's manageable and then go from there.
Kizzie,
I share your fears of group interactions. I have trust issues that resemble the trust issues you deal with also.
However, most groups I've ever been in were positive. I have been a member of various groups, some led by psychologists, some led by me, and some led by peers. (AA-style). All of them have been helpful for me.
If you are up to starting an online peer-to-peer zoom group, I'll definitely be interested in joining.
Kizzie, I'll stick with OOTS as is. I'm not somebody you or anyone else wants in a F2F or zoom group. I either talk too much or go into Fight mode. Only works with a T who I really trust.
I wish you and anybody else Good Luck with this new endeavour, this new way of connecting and healing. :)
OK Papa and BB, tks for letting me know.
My knee-jerk reaction was "no way" but these days I am finding that if I can override the knee-jerk reaction I usually benefit from doing whatever it was I was avoiding.
So I think I may be interested, depending on the frequency and duration. That said, I am in the UK and the only time of day that would fairly reliably work for me is the afternoon. I get the impression many of you are over the Pond, so this may not suit at all.
It scares the beep out of me but I might join. But because of the whole cptsd symptom thing of needing to keep myself hidden from even the people I love, I could only do it when my family isn't around.
I'm in some regular Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families groups and you're right; it makes a huge difference when everyone there can relate in some way. They're peer-led and no particular person "owns " a meeting. One of the ones I attend have a script that discusses not discriminating and not allowing "crosstalk", which is interrupting, commenting on, etc another person's experience. If you want to see the format, I can see if they'd let me have a copy of the script. I've been going about 3/4 of a year so far.
Oh, and I might be interested in attending, depending on when it is.
I'm interested in such a group, although I'm very self-conscious about being on camera.
I have had negative group experiences. Also, when I had to do online therapy, it was really triggering and distressful to me.
Even though I can't be a part of it at this time, I think it's a great idea.
I would potentially be interested. Nervous--yes--but I think it could also be good for me. I've been feeling very lonely in my thoughts and journey recently and I know just how important community can be. :grouphug:
OK folks, let me look into getting Zoom and figuring out that app I mentioned and a few other things like time zones and I'll get back to you. (It may be Wed or Fri as I have that outpatient program M, T and Th.)
CactusFlower - yes if you could get a copy of the script(s) your other group(s) have that would be great. If not perhaps you and I could see if we could recreate it. Once we have something the group can have a look and then we can edit it as a group based on what we want to see for our group.
Hi,
I am very new to OOTS, that said, I am in dire need of connection with people of like experience that are healing from trauma. I am a 12 step person from almost 40 years now and have done a lot of individual and group therapy since my recovery from abuse started in 1988. I would be so grateful to be in such a group.
My Best
Steve M
Hi Steve - Unfortunately I am struggling at the moment and have postponed the start of the trial group until I feel better. You're welcome to join us when we do start up - we will meet every 2nd Fri from 9-10 MST - does that work for you in your time zone?
Sorry to hear you are struggling, I totally understand. Im on the east coast US so EST are you Mountain Standard Time, so two hours behind me? I'll make anything work.
My Best
Steve M
Both a terrifying yet exhilerating thought Kizzie. I haven't read other replies as I'm short on time. I often feel very lonely. I stopped talking to my partner about my issues and my memories several years ago. Instead I just excuse myself and say I am having a hard time without further elaboration. I have only one friend who I tell some things sometimes to, and she has a very standard life. I think the act of talking to people in secret is what I like about OOTS, and doing that with my voice could be extremely empowering. It would honestly cause me more anxiety if there were a professional there, or a leader as you said. I just want to express my feelings. I dissect myself plenty.
HI Steve - Yes, I'm MST. I'll add you to the list and will let you and the others know when I'm feeling OK to get going with this.
Bermuda - Did you want to join in or are you just commenting for now? (Just PM me if you want in as I've locked this thread for now.)
We have enough members for a trial group for now so I am going to lock this thread. I will let everyone know when the trial is done and if we are going to open it up or start a second group (so we keep them small and manageable).
Kizzie