Hello.
Ummm ... I am new here.
I/we have been reading this site for a week or so now and found it so so helpful. Thank you.
I/we am 51 and diagnosed about 25 or more years ago with CPTSD resulting from childhood stuff. We have worked hard for decades on finding and practising ways to live - like one therapist said to us: 'It is your daily work'.
I/we had some years of relative stability but have again found that I/we are immobilised, isolating, and many of the other acute symptoms of CPTSD are activated. Though not able to do paid work I/we had really come a long way in doing things in the social/public world -writing and mentoring and creating with others etc. So scared of everything falling apart again... It kind of has I guess as I disappeared.
Cut off from friends totally since about November last year and although more able to function - as in do the daily survival stuff - finding the fallout from these last months so difficult to deal with again. The fallout in terms of explaining to people why I disappeared and been hiding, that its not that I don't like them, that I cannot control it when this takes over us all etc etc. The sense of being unreliable and the sense of deflation that the projects been working on will fall apart totally.
I/we did find the article on the blog about relational trauma responses and how this affects current in/abilities to form and maintain friendships really helpful. Somehow in reading this it helped all of us who exist in 'me' to calm a bit.
Anyway, this intro is a kind of first reaching out in a space that seems safe.
Just letting you know I have a new therapist so have support.
Don't know if any of this makes sense but hi.
Wren, yes, it makes sense. Glad you introduced yourself. Welcome. :heythere:
Hello Wren.
I'm new here as well.
Your comment about explaining to others why you disappeared really resonated with me.
I'm glad you have found a T and have some support.
Hi Wren,
Welcome! I'm sorry that you're suffering. What you wrote resonates very much.
I have drifted away from all my friends but my partner. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's just gotten really hard for me to put on the mask and be engaged—there's just too much chaos in my brain (plus interactions with other humans IRL is just too triggering lately).
Anyway, I hope joining the gang here will help you. I know it's been helpful for me.
:hug:
Hi, Wren :heythere: Welcome! This is a good place.
Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Wren :heythere:. Glad you found your way here and feel enough of a sense of comfort and safety to share in your intro post.
We do get isolating and/or pulling away from others when our symptoms flare up so hopefully members will have some suggestions/experiences to share that will be helpful. :grouphug:
Hi Wren, welcome. Glad you found courage to share and thank you.
This is a safe place, and where hopefully you will feel valid and listened to.
:grouphug:
Hi Wren -
I'm so glad you're here. Sorry to hear you seem to be in a regression of your CPTSD. It is so difficult to make great strides, over time, in feeling relatively well for a stretch of time and then find yourself back to, what feels like square one, again. I think it is common to many of us here. I'm sorry you're facing this & hope you find encouragement & support here amongst us.
Hello Wren, pleased to meet you. :wave: