I had an epiphany yesterday that is significantly helping with my relational trauma response. While walking through a supermarket it suddenly dawned on me that my fear is constantly inaccurate. Fear is meant to let me know when I am in genuine danger, in risk of ACTUAL harm. However, no one has physically attacked me in years and it's rare that anyone even raises their voice while talking to me. I've been with my partner for 2 years and she hasn't abandoned me despite the repeated fears that she will. My fears are not true.
Seeing this as the case it then dawned on me that my fears are actually evidence that I am safe. 99% of the time my fears arise while I am totally safe, so it's more appropriate to interpret my fear as a sign of my own safety. Since noticing this I've made a habit of checking in with myself to see if I'm feeling a subtle or exaggerated fear and to remind myself this fear is evidence that I am safe.
The amazing realisation from doing this is the recognition that I am actually safe. I'm not in danger.
I'm aware that it's early days with working with my emotions in this way and that it will take consistent energy on my part to retrain my relationship with my fear, however I am hopeful that this is a significant milestone for me.
Wishing you well on your journey through recovery and beyond,
FfT
That's a great insight to have with an interesting angle.
Thanks for describing that :thumbup:
That's a huge step forward FFT, congrats! :thumbup: