I have been hearing more and more about sex abuse by former physicians at OSU as well as coverups of domestic violence by the current coach of the mighty football team. I am an alumnus of Ohio State, and I was the object of affections by the chair of the department in which I studied. It was a family friend, someone who knew my parents and had been involved in activities I which I participated even during high school.
In addition to studying under (pardon the unfortunate pun) this individual, I also babysat for his children, sometimes spent the weekend at his family home, and spent six weeks in another state acting as the nanny hike he and his wife lead workshops in another college town. I was drawn into the so-called excitement of attention given by someone many of us admired.
But I was 19, a virgin, and of course got horribly emotionally hurt by this affair. I realize now that my craving for attention and approval was linked to not ever getting the right kind of same from my own father, who emotionally abandoned me. I was ripe for the picking. And now, with all of the news about abuse coming from that same institution, it is painful once again. This is a systemic problem that many of us kept quiet out of shame.
Thankfully, the shame is being dissolved a little by the publicity. But I have a new shame about the entire institution. I will no longer be tempted to tout my alma mater or cheer for the Buckeyes on autumn Saturdays. Very sad.
Hi Jdog,
It is sad. I just wanted to stand by you and offer you my support - a hug if that's ok :hug:
Hope :)
Oh dear JDog, I can only imagine that the pain has risen up again. I am also sending along my support and care :hug:
Hey Jdog,
I live in Ohio too. I'll just say my buckeyes are tainted. :'(
Thanks for the support, all.
Deep Blue - I no longer live in Ohio, but did spend my first 24 years there. Yes, the Buckeyes are tainted. Hopefully not for too long!
Kizzie - yes, I think my psoriasis flare is a reflection of this shame. Bah....
Thank you for caring.
Hope- hugs are fantastic! Thanks much!
I guess it's somehow positive that these sorts of abuses are finally being acknowledged by more than the direct victims. Except I don't get the abusers' defenders who insist nothing's wrong and/or it doesn't matter. ??? . Or they create elaborate excuses, :blahblahblah:. All of which is of little use to those of us dumped on the side of the road. There's been so much of this on all levels.
May you find the self-compassion to thrive despite this instance of intrusive thoughts from the past. They can be strong, but you can be stronger. :hug:
Yes, Woodsgnome, we are stronger than the intrusive thoughts. Resilience is thus built.
:hug: Jdog