Lots of layers, indeed!
"Also, I realized that most people felt a little uncomfortable around me because they could sense I was "not okay" i.e. it wasn't "me" that wasn't compelling enough, but my inner "not okayness" (that I did my best to mask) and as I calmed that down people would feel more comfortable around me. " This is very familiar.
I puzzle myself, as I roll along just dandy, then *bang* out of the blue, something/one makes me feel wonky, for why, I do not know. I have wondered if there is something going on subliminally that is triggering me (voice, smell, the color red???) Or, maybe not!
Thank you for taking the time to spell out all of these steps. It is no small task!
"Also, I realized that most people felt a little uncomfortable around me because they could sense I was "not okay" i.e. it wasn't "me" that wasn't compelling enough, but my inner "not okayness" (that I did my best to mask) and as I calmed that down people would feel more comfortable around me. " This is very familiar.
I puzzle myself, as I roll along just dandy, then *bang* out of the blue, something/one makes me feel wonky, for why, I do not know. I have wondered if there is something going on subliminally that is triggering me (voice, smell, the color red???) Or, maybe not!
Thank you for taking the time to spell out all of these steps. It is no small task!