New to forum-have been isolating

[Yvette]

Hello,
     I just found this website/forum and have been reading the posts.  I thought I was a crazy person....I'm realizing now that my actions like isolating and staying away from my foo have been acts of self preservation and not just me being crazy.  Recently however, my 20 yr-old daughter has resumed a relationship with my foo and this has brought up a lot of stuff for me.  I feel raw and very angry.  The only thing I want to do is stay away from her too because she's pushing all my buttons now as well.  I will be resuming therapy next week and until then, I'm just taking it one day at a time---feeling like I can hardly breathe though. 
-Yvette

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, Yvette! We're glad you found us.

I'm sorry you're feeling raw and angry. Been there a time or two myself. Not fun. 

Keep posting, keep reading - we'll be your lifeline. Let us know how therapy goes! I'm scheduled to begin at the end of this month - excited and scared.

[Kizzie]

Hello,
     I just found this website/forum and have been reading the posts.  I thought I was a crazy person....I'm realizing now that my actions like isolating and staying away from my foo have been acts of self preservation and not just me being crazy.  Recently however, my 20 yr-old daughter has resumed a relationship with my foo and this has brought up a lot of stuff for me.  I feel raw and very angry.  The only thing I want to do is stay away from her too because she's pushing all my buttons now as well.  I will be resuming therapy next week and until then, I'm just taking it one day at a time---feeling like I can hardly breathe though. 
-Yvette

Welcome Yvette, I can only imagine  you feel like you can't breathe right now!  Your daughter's relationship with your FOO is that tentacle they can draw your back in with, or campaign against you.  Can you talk with your daughter about your CPTSD and how it came about? 

[Yvette]

Hi Kizzie, 
I have told my daughter all about them, I just wasn't specific about how they hurt me to prevent her from being vicariously traumatized.   Part of the reason I'm so angry is that she doesn't seem to care about how this is causing me to regress (I've been doing well for the 4-5 years my FOO have been out of my life).  So now I just feel like a basket case all over again.

[Yvette]

thank you ThreeRoses, good luck to you as well. 


PS: I'm not sure I know how to reply to the replies...

[Three Roses]

You did it tho   

[Kizzie]

Hi Yvette, my son doesn't get my it completely, although enough that he does not get involved with my FOO (lives in the same city and they try and draw him onto the web all the time, ) so I am fortunate in that regard.  I was really concerned for a long time that they would drag him in and campaign against my H and I, so I have some understanding of what that feels like (awful).  Your D may need other family in spite of how it affects you; at 20 it's still a lot about what they need/ want.  Perhaps your T and you can work on this as a priority?

PS - You just need to click on the little left pointing arrow at the bottom of the post to reply.

[Yvette]

I can understand it at a cognitive level but it doesn't make it easier, or even okay considering that she's come back from her visits quite abusive herself.  I was afraid of this. She's moving out, and it's best for us all.  I didn't want to have to distance myself from her too, but I can't be thrown back into this again.  It was horrible to sit here and listen to my daughter yell at me saying things like I'm "disgusting".... Something that I would never have dreamed coming out of her lips.  Definitely not something she heard from me...

[Three Roses]

 

[Kizzie]

I'm so sorry to hear that she is caught up in the abuse Yvette     Hopefully as she gets older she will be able see them for what they are.

[Yvette]

Thanks Kizzie, me too.

[Kizzie]