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I have struggled similarly loosing long term friendships and having to leave my career because of the pain I would feel being around them.  People who claimed to love and support me turned their backs quickly when I was placed on disability.  They made no issue blaming, gaslighting and betraying me while my symptoms kept me trapped in silence and shame.

I have asked myself constantly if this was completely my fault alone.  And I still wonder if they feel any type of ownership.  But those thoughts often lead down a terrible rabbit hole.

Sending only positive thoughts to you all !  Thank you for reading.  Thank you for making me feel heard ! 

Thank you so much for the welcome.  One of my struggles is always whether I made the right, or safest, decision.  Second guessing has become a regular occurrence.  I appreciate knowing I can belong somewhere without judgement or criticism. 

"If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got" 

Change can be empowering !

Hey there,

I have been experiencing mental health issues since 93.  Various degrees with this episode (for lack of another word) for 7 years.

Just last year, I was thankfully referred to Pyschiatrist who brought forward the suggestion of cptsd and SAD to the table.  Finally, I felt a small, glowing light at the end of the tunnel.  I had never thought to see myself placed upon paper so well until I learned about cptsd.  Puzzle pieces began to fall into place.  Things I felt, things that I thought, made some sort of sense now.

I am hoping through this new strategy while assist me in venturing back into the world outside my own home.

I am new to this technology as well.  Please be patient with me.  Managing this only took me just over an hour to figure it out !