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Sorry you had a cascade of injuries in the garden.  

At least I have learned to take panadol more often at these times otherwise my inner child - angry and in pain - pops out regularly when the world asks too much of me.

This is pretty familiar to me, I substitute panadol with a mild barbituate.

Hey BeHea1thy,

I am on clonazepam for my CPTSD, nortriptyline & gabapentin for my chronic pain.

And then when a physical injury arrives my whole system crumbles, I really cannot cope with any more pain.

So during this times if anyone asks too much of me my harshest self defender arrives on the scene. My angry inner child when expressed via the adult me is apparently terrifying to most people.

Harsh huh?

Hi Boy22 - I think that is 'harsh' and I'm glad you're here - and I really think that what Woodsgnome said - it makes sense - and I'm encouraged by what Woodsgnome also said about being able to break through and succeed finally - let's hope we can all do that - and get to where we want to be.

Hope 

I too liked and appreciated  Woodsgome's words.

He, you, the whole community make this place wonderful.

Well I was out in the garden yesterday, spring has sprung and it needs a bit of tidying up. I took a chunk of skin off the top of one of my toes on some garden furniture. And in my yelp of pain I contorted myself in such a way as to strain a muscle under my right shoulder blade.

At the time my toes pain was predominant, but today any movement of my chest, right shoulder and arm causes pain. I have taken panadol (acetiminophen) and am going to have a lot more quiet time today.

It took 2-3 hours yesterday for my brain to block my toe pain, I think I will need quite a bit more time to get this one sorted. At least I have learned to take panadol more often at these times otherwise my inner child - angry and in pain - pops out regularly when the world asks too much of me.

Oh Deep Blue,

I have done so much crying in the last few years. I am now begining crying as catharsis, it is both a challenge and a relief,

Hey Deep Blue, all my T sessions are dominated by triggers. That why my sessions start in tears. We are working together to find strategies to cope with the triggers, I have managed a few times to shorten "the trip" markedly and come out the otherside able to carry on functioning.

I'm sad to hear that Sunshine31, I have progressively isolated myself from anyone who knew me prior to age 25.

I had a very kind a gentle orthodontist as a child.

Anyway, welcome. You will find many kind and caring people here. Virtual hugs are also very safe hugs. 

Hi BeHea1thy,

I started with the very trauma that sent me down that hole. My partners FOO, or rather a member of it is projecting on to me all the hate she never expressed to her ex husband because at some point in the past I said something similar to what he was saying at the time.

I have said to my partner that we have enabled her behaviour and that we need to stop enabling her abuse of me. Line in the sand.

All I can say is when I have faced similar situations I have managed at some point in my panic to realise "I have done this before, I can do it now."

It is a challenge for sure.

But we both know that you can do it.

I reached out to good people for help with my career and they are showing up
I was able to connect with someone who rarely has the opportunity to be seen as he is, because  in public others  project what they want to see in him — he was grateful for the authenticity
2hrs of yoga on the beach

2 hours of yoga on the beach.

You got me there. 

Hey goblinchild,

I think this is part of your CPTSD it is your inner critic not allowing you to take pleasure, for being happy could result in emotional abuse - a snarled "what have you got to be happy about?" Perhaps?

Depression is a lot more than just lack of enjoyment.

Yay wattlebird!

Seriously, you deserve a yay! As the minimum.

October last year we had solar panels installed.

Then in May we got our Tesla2 battery.

A few hiccups later as various monitoring, connection and billing issues have been sorted.

This months power bill $18.21.

A saving of $281! Woo hoo!

An even deeper hole opened after that, fortunately one of my therapists was able to come to my home and we spent some time together. The next day I had a session with therapist number 2 and it was excellent.

Again we started in tears and ended in laughter. His challenge to me was to find and use my power while risking being seen as mean or bad.

Hi Wattlebird

I thought I was doing great at getting all my parts together is a safe place until I realised my inner child sat mute thinking, "nup, you're and adult and I don't trust adults, besides you've been around when they've hurt me before and did nothing so why should anything change now?"

Harsh huh?

Welcome Spark98.

"A work in progress."

We, who are all a work in progress, welcome you. It is a tough journey, but you will find like minded soul mates to help boost you on.