Messages

Wishing you an enjoyable time.   
Hope 

Take care, Decimal Rocket -  to you. 
Hope 

Hi SanMagic - thank you so much for the lovely hug and warm wishes - and I really appreciate the fact that you said that my goals make sense - and I'll hold onto the thought of nurturing my 'sense of self' into the New Year.  Here's to continued 'self sense' - that is meaningful and positive.   

Hi Decimal Rocket - thank you so much for your lovely comment - it means a lot - and I appreciate it.   

Hi Blueberry - thank you!  You've also validated my goals for the future in what you said, and that means a lot - thank you!  You're right, it is such a challenging process to go NC or VLC with FOO - and it would be unlikely for anyone to do that 'lightly' - we do it as a result of a range of factors and after a lot of thought.   

Hi Sceal - I really appreciate that lovely New Year's Day hug - thank you!    to you too, and thank you for popping by.

Journal entry for 1st January 2018
The New Year is here - and I am hopeful that it will bring some positive things.  I assume it will continue to bring some challenges and twists and turns, but I hope I have the strength and fortitude to navigate them, and that any choices to be made will be my own - i.e. I am capable of choosing how I react or how I respond to whatever occurs.  Most of all, I know I can come here - and find support, from people who truely understand. 

Wishing everyone a year that will be better, and whatever happens, that we'll cope with whatever comes our way.

Hope 

Hi LTLTR,

Thank you so much for your reply - I found it really helpful to hear what you said, and especially about the issues of 'consent' - thank you.

Hope 

Another entry for 30th December 2017 (Part 2)

I feel very restless at the moment.  Like I don't know what to do with myself.  I've been writing in some people's Journals, and then I realise that my Inner Critic starts on me, saying 'What did you say?' 'Why did you say that?' - and I feel awkward about it, but I am glad I went and wrote those things, because I can, and I want to.

I've also been feeling uncomfortable for the fact I wrote about my niece, because basically I've never met her - not even once in my whole life - I didn't even know she existed till my sister told me (when I re-connected with my sister) - and my sister hasn't seen her niece for a few years now.  But my FOO (parents) have made contact with their Grand-daughter, and they apparently see her sometimes.  My niece contacted me a couple of times, but she's hardly said anything to me - quite bizarre how communication happens (or rather doesn't happen) in my FOO.

Basically each of them doesn't communicate properly with anyone - that is how it seems to me.  It is really weird.  Like some kind of dysfunctional web - very dark and difficult to work out.

I wonder if maybe she (my neice) will have a better relationship with my parents, than I did as their daughter.  She's a grown woman, so she should be able to hopefully cope and make her own decisions, but I think she is potentially a vulnerable person at the same time.  But of course I don't know.  I've never met her.

I've always idealised the idea of getting a card from my sister - to the extent of looking at cards in shop windows over the years - the ones with 'sister' on them, and wondering what it would be like to get a card from her, or to send one to her.  But the reality is - I can't establish a relationship with her, and now she's sent me a Christmas card, and I feel 'guilty' 'or bad' about that - because I've not sent one to her.  But honestly, I tried to establish a relationship with her, it is too difficult - I think I'd lose my sanity if I continued to try to communicate with her.

I think I need to focus myself - on what I would like 2018 to be like - and see if I can achieve some things that are meaningful and that will help me to move forward and get out of some of the more 'sticky' aspects - I don't think this is making much sense - as I write it.  But it's good to write something.

Hope 

Hi Dee,
Thanks for mentioning about your Inner supporter - that's a good thing to consider - I will think about that.

Hi Decimal Rocket,
Yes, my inner critic weakened - still makes an appearance most days - and interesting that whenever I write a bit more in the forum, it tends to pop out and give me some grief, but I'm trying to ignore it.   



Hope 

Hi Wife2,
Glad to hear that you had a nice time at Christmas - and just wanted to send you a hug  - and also say thanks for the Mama Bear (Kodiack) that you brought into my life - she is amazing.

Wishing you all the best for 2018, and wishing you lots of positive things.

Hope 

  to you 3 Roses.  Hope you have some positive things ahead in 2018. 
Hope 

Hi Blueberry,
I often turn to food as a source of 'comfort' and I know that it's probably better to see what is behind the urge to eat - but like you said, it can often be hard to do that, and eating is the result.  I've eaten too much this Christmas. 

I hope you've had a good day - that you're ok - and I want to thank you for all your support and help to me over 2017 - and I want to wish you the best for 2018.    to you Blueberry.

Hope 

Hi Andy,
Wishing you all the best for the remainder of 2017, and wishing you lots of good things for 2018 - those plates you've been carrying have been heavy, and like you said, some are larger than others - and like SanMagic said - it will potentially be de-stabilising as you adjust to whatever happens when you put down/toss/break some of them.  But like Ah said, we can help you - because we're here in this forum, and you can come and share the load with us - maybe you can paint a couple of plates in different colours - and have a fresh perspective.

Most of all, I hope you have some chance to relax - if that helps - and sending you a hug  - hope you are ok.

Wishing you the best for 2018. 

Hope 

Hi Sceal,
Really sorry to hear you've had those horrible nightmares - I hope you get some peace from those tonight - and that you're doing ok.  Just wanted to give you a hug, if that's ok  and wish you the best for 2018. 
Hope 

Hi Decimal Rocket,
It's good to know that you felt you 'knew enough' - because that potentially shows you're feeling more comfortable what you know - and I think that's positive.
to you and wishing you lots of positive things for 2018.
Hope 

Hi SanMagic,
It was interesting to read what you wrote about your 2 year old's brain, that really makes sense.  I also often experience pain in the left-hand-side of my head - towards the front, it can really hurt - especially at night - and hearing what you said about your pain, I really relate to that.

Wishing you all the best for 2018 - as that new year approaches.  Sending you a  and warm thanks for all your support and your kindness and your lovely spirit.

Hope 

  to everyone. 
Hope 

Hi Andy,
I am assuming the book is going to be reasonably heavy going to read, but also hopefully enlightening - I think it will be useful to me - I read some of the reviews.  I realised that it had sparked a little controversy - but I also suspect that some people may have responded more to the 'title' than having actually read it - and I would like to read it and then think about how much I can relate to it.  I am pleased that you recommend it, and thanks for pointing me in that direction.
Hope