Thank you Dollyvee
*******
16th May 2024
I watched a film a couple of days ago, which I found very good to watch, as a younger part of me really focused on the experiences and issues raised within that film.
Trigger Warning (TW) it is about CSA
The film is called 'The Girl Who Escaped: The Kara Robinson Story' - it is based on a real life story, and the girl was just 15 years old. I just found the portrayal of the girl, and what happened, and how she reacted and the issues that were portrayed, it really helped a younger part of myself. There was a point in the film when someone said "Just give her some time, she's processing a lot" and that also helped me. I thought to myself that with regard to all my own issues from back then, that nobody ever took any time whatsoever to consider my feelings, and how I was, and I never had time to process things. Infact it's only really now, in my 6th decade of life (mid to late 50's) that I'm actually beginning to take time to process things - and I have only just really got my nervous system to focus on a less hypervigilant stressed state, so that I can begin to process things and see things.
I still find it very clunky to try to talk about any of this, and I've not done much of that verbally - I can write, but it feels clunky when I try to do that. Sometimes I think that I might try some therapy to force myself to say things 'out loud' - as I feel that would be helpful, but I also don't feel I want to do that, as I fear how that whole thing would be. I struggle currently to even see a medical kind of appointment, let alone face attending a therapy session. I do know I could do it, and I could approach someone that I saw before, but somehow I don't want to.
I didn't realise that I'd end up writing this - it wasn't at all what I intended to write when I came here - but my rule of not editing myself, I'll leave it there.
Hope
*******
16th May 2024
I watched a film a couple of days ago, which I found very good to watch, as a younger part of me really focused on the experiences and issues raised within that film.
Trigger Warning (TW) it is about CSA
The film is called 'The Girl Who Escaped: The Kara Robinson Story' - it is based on a real life story, and the girl was just 15 years old. I just found the portrayal of the girl, and what happened, and how she reacted and the issues that were portrayed, it really helped a younger part of myself. There was a point in the film when someone said "Just give her some time, she's processing a lot" and that also helped me. I thought to myself that with regard to all my own issues from back then, that nobody ever took any time whatsoever to consider my feelings, and how I was, and I never had time to process things. Infact it's only really now, in my 6th decade of life (mid to late 50's) that I'm actually beginning to take time to process things - and I have only just really got my nervous system to focus on a less hypervigilant stressed state, so that I can begin to process things and see things.
I still find it very clunky to try to talk about any of this, and I've not done much of that verbally - I can write, but it feels clunky when I try to do that. Sometimes I think that I might try some therapy to force myself to say things 'out loud' - as I feel that would be helpful, but I also don't feel I want to do that, as I fear how that whole thing would be. I struggle currently to even see a medical kind of appointment, let alone face attending a therapy session. I do know I could do it, and I could approach someone that I saw before, but somehow I don't want to.
I didn't realise that I'd end up writing this - it wasn't at all what I intended to write when I came here - but my rule of not editing myself, I'll leave it there.
Hope