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Oh gosh I feel like a kook I guess I got kinda crazy in my head and went a little over board cause I finally talked it out with him and he is going to make the appropriate adjustment to the situation.  Gonna give it another try.  I can get a little crazy at times with my thinking but I am thankful for the support.

I really understand 

Man I agree there was a time when I didn't care about having loving relationships in my life but not so now.  I'm kinda in the middle of a breakup now with some one who can't or possibly is unable to have an open communication in the relationship and it is really painful and sad. I wrote about it in another place on the site but haven't heard back from anyone. It's so hard to build these relationship with people but it's even harder letting the ones that u have really tried at go. Ah I'm in pain right now really regretting putting my heart into this thing it was clumsy of me lol

Had to let go of someone I was really hoping to share a lifetime with. Man it's painful. Uhave put my all into it paying attention to the things he told me needed to be worked on. I actively tried to make the appropriate compromises and I feel he did not. I feel really judged and kinda shamed by this mans need to be at peace no matter what.  I'm a communicator a doing a talker a feeler maybe too much at times but I give a lot. I feel really sad and need to know everything is going to be ok. I did put my all into this thing and it just did not go where I was hoping it would. I have know and loved this man for a really long time thought maybe this time it would work out. We were so young the first time. I really like him at first but the relationship require so much from me and too little from him. Well at least I can say I gave it the best possible chance to succeed. Man this really sad and a little scary also. I am not too much and when people insinuate that or are judgementle about who u r it's not very nice or helpful especially when u have been working so hard to make changes in urself
Very sad today all my abondonment stuff is coming up

Thanks everyone for such a warm welcome.  I'm greatful for a safe place to share going on with people who understand and don't judge. Gosh someone told me I was negative 90 % of the time after I been struggling to keep things afloat in our lives man that really hurt me.  I have tried to make his life easier for him to accomplish something he wanted to do for while and it just blew me away so I wrote him a really long list of the positive things that I do every day, in my life.  I'm really feeling hurt by that statement. Wow don't really know why I'm telling you this except this is the second day I haven't been able to sleep. I have to work tomorrow and it's already about 1am.

Just wanted to check this site out, it was recommended by my. therapist and i am trying to do things that are good for me. I think this could be helpful to me. I dont have alot of friends and limited support right now. It would be nice to learn some new techniques on how to shut off the condeming negative strangers in my head. You see im actually doing rally good things in my life right now but i am scared that im not good enough smart enough worthy and all that jazz. Its a dam struggle moving forward with all the crap in my head it appears tobe a veryangry person in there that i have little or no control over. Its definetly frustrating. Could use some help with techniques on calming the beast. Going to school after many years of giving up my dream and having trouble im going to be able to do it.i get overwhelmed by the stuff.  Anybodyfeeling mehere.