Yogi, I am so sorry to read about your situation with your mother. Like you, my life-long, terrible relationship with my nm and ef finally ended around Christmas, several years ago.
It felt awful, just as you are feeling now. I just really want to reassure you. It may take a while to get over the guilt and the pain and the loneliness, but your mother seems to be causing you such pain, that it will, I believe, be worth it. The fact that you are already aware of cptsd and all its implications is a good start. I can honestly say that it was from reading all about it and finding this site that I really began to heal. I wish I knew what I know now when things came to a head with my parents. It's awful to wonder whether you are the crazy one; to feel such guilt; to lose your sibling. I have read your story and want to validate your feelings.
If there is anything you want to ask about going forward, please just ask. I am no expert but I have been through a similar situation and believe I am doing well now. So I might be able to support you a bit.
All the best.
Libby.
It felt awful, just as you are feeling now. I just really want to reassure you. It may take a while to get over the guilt and the pain and the loneliness, but your mother seems to be causing you such pain, that it will, I believe, be worth it. The fact that you are already aware of cptsd and all its implications is a good start. I can honestly say that it was from reading all about it and finding this site that I really began to heal. I wish I knew what I know now when things came to a head with my parents. It's awful to wonder whether you are the crazy one; to feel such guilt; to lose your sibling. I have read your story and want to validate your feelings.
If there is anything you want to ask about going forward, please just ask. I am no expert but I have been through a similar situation and believe I am doing well now. So I might be able to support you a bit.
All the best.
Libby.