I was diagnosed with CPTSD in 2011 after suffering a breakdown and ending up spending 3 months in hospital.
I had a very traumatic childhood with abusive parents. My Mum abused me emotionally and physically and my Dad abused me sexually. I left home at 15 and lived on the streets for a while, often getting myself into abusive relationships.
I married and had 3 wonderful children. My husband was 9 years older than me and very controlling. As I grew older and stronger he made things very hard for me. Eventually in 2001 he attacked me, brutally raped me and abandoned me with my children. He went to live abroad.
It was after the rape that I began to piece together issues from my childhood - I would have nightmares and flashbacks of my husband raping me and my Dad would suddenly be there too. It was a very confusing time.
I began to self harm and on a few occasions have tried to end my life and all my emotions became very overwhelming.
I have been having trauma therapy for the past two years and have done some sessions of EMDR. I still have nightmares nearly every night and wake up with wet beds which is very distressing. I am trying to set my alarm for the middle of the night to pre-empt the nightmares but that often makes me anxious and unsettled.
I have recently heard that my ex-husband is moving back into the country and that is very unsettling.
Would love to stop the nightmares - am working on getting my psychiatrist to prescribe prozasin but he says he doesnt know enough about it. I have worked hard to wean myself off all meds at present.
I struggle with low self esteem flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and self harm. I need to learn to like myself and to look after myself better
I had a very traumatic childhood with abusive parents. My Mum abused me emotionally and physically and my Dad abused me sexually. I left home at 15 and lived on the streets for a while, often getting myself into abusive relationships.
I married and had 3 wonderful children. My husband was 9 years older than me and very controlling. As I grew older and stronger he made things very hard for me. Eventually in 2001 he attacked me, brutally raped me and abandoned me with my children. He went to live abroad.
It was after the rape that I began to piece together issues from my childhood - I would have nightmares and flashbacks of my husband raping me and my Dad would suddenly be there too. It was a very confusing time.
I began to self harm and on a few occasions have tried to end my life and all my emotions became very overwhelming.
I have been having trauma therapy for the past two years and have done some sessions of EMDR. I still have nightmares nearly every night and wake up with wet beds which is very distressing. I am trying to set my alarm for the middle of the night to pre-empt the nightmares but that often makes me anxious and unsettled.
I have recently heard that my ex-husband is moving back into the country and that is very unsettling.
Would love to stop the nightmares - am working on getting my psychiatrist to prescribe prozasin but he says he doesnt know enough about it. I have worked hard to wean myself off all meds at present.
I struggle with low self esteem flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety and self harm. I need to learn to like myself and to look after myself better