I've never known there was a place I can talk about any of this. I grew up in a mentally, emotionally and psychologically abusive household. Both my parents are mentally unstable and I was often the object of their blame. Because of everything that went on, I can't stand anybody touching my arms, and can't open up enough to date anyone. Every time I try and schedule coffee or a movie, I end up up cancelling after freaking out about it from the time it was scheduled until I convince myself that the person would never be ok with the person that I am. Other times I turn down dates because I don't think any stable person would want to date someone who isn't or who has as many issues as I do. I don't want to be alone, but it's the only way I feel safe. How do I get out of this cycle?