Hello all: I posted in the Storm forum as well since it seemed that the two are interrelated...Middle aged male here and have allowed myself to get into what I call an imperfect storm...
In summary...raised myself in a dysfunctional mom/pop family. Both came from their dysfunctional families. In terms of ptsd or cptsd terms, I was abandoned or I guess left to fin for myself; but my parents would not validate this and I'm not willing to address it at this late point in father's life. Mother deceased.
Bullied as a kid for a myriad of causes...started with being a obese kid...tried to arrest it and ended up for the most art suffering from eating disorder...all untreated. I feel as if I was in a war, and sometimes feeling remains same. Tried to get help earlier in life and just didn't click. Currently back with psychologist and am on medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.
Happily married with outstanding family. Some family issues triggered what I consider full-fledged breakdown. Seeking help again. Just very alone inside; have a relatively high-stressed job that is very rewarding but dealing with individual personalities difficult.
My upbringing left me a perfectionist, and that causes me a tremendous amount of triggers...so I move from fight, flight, freeze, and fawn on a regular basis. Confusing part is that I know that I'm relatively respected but I cannot get my mind and heart to align.
Like I said, I'm just looking for a WAY to move through this and get on my feet.
In summary...raised myself in a dysfunctional mom/pop family. Both came from their dysfunctional families. In terms of ptsd or cptsd terms, I was abandoned or I guess left to fin for myself; but my parents would not validate this and I'm not willing to address it at this late point in father's life. Mother deceased.
Bullied as a kid for a myriad of causes...started with being a obese kid...tried to arrest it and ended up for the most art suffering from eating disorder...all untreated. I feel as if I was in a war, and sometimes feeling remains same. Tried to get help earlier in life and just didn't click. Currently back with psychologist and am on medication prescribed by a psychiatrist.
Happily married with outstanding family. Some family issues triggered what I consider full-fledged breakdown. Seeking help again. Just very alone inside; have a relatively high-stressed job that is very rewarding but dealing with individual personalities difficult.
My upbringing left me a perfectionist, and that causes me a tremendous amount of triggers...so I move from fight, flight, freeze, and fawn on a regular basis. Confusing part is that I know that I'm relatively respected but I cannot get my mind and heart to align.
Like I said, I'm just looking for a WAY to move through this and get on my feet.