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Tks for the kind words Paul, always nice for us to hear 

I think what resonates with me and Walker's book is that he writes as both a T and as someone who suffers from CPTSD.  Some of his own examples -- e.g., what an EF felt like for him -- were so close to my own experience I immediately felt this confidence that he knew what the disorder feels like and then could explain it as a T in a way that I could understand/relate to.  Anyway, it's one book that does need re-reading I agree.

FWIW, I just wanted to mention that dissociation is a symptom many of us have so that may also be why you react differently on different days; that is, it may be that one part is more front and centre than the one the time before. 

   x 10 to you

Welcome Paul     How did you find Walker's book? I found it bit of a tough read, but so on the money. 

Yes a warm welcome Jinxyquin     Glad you found your way here and I hope you find some good info and support 

Hi Mourningdove - What about checking in with your friend again, perhaps even asking if they are OK because you are feeling a bit of worried? You don't have to say that you're worried about your friendship specifically, but in reaching out you let them know you care. They may actually be dealing with some issues and appreciate that you are thinking about them, you never know. 

Hey Dee, sending you a ton of    and much support.

So sorry to hear what a tough time you've had.  IMO you have every reason to show yourself some self-compassion so pull those covers up and rest.  (FWIW I don't think it's self pity you're feeling but very deep and real sadness in response to your sister's behaviour.)   

HI Eyessoblue - I did an online CBT course for my social anxiety (so I'm not sure how it compares to face-to-face and with cracking the Inner Critic in its fullest sense), but it helped me to learn to hear what I was saying to raise my anxiety and then to challenge and replace those thoughts with other possibilities, more positive ones. The theory is that by changing your thinking you can change how you feel. 

And it did help to some extent.  For example: I went from feeling social anxiety when I was out but not really knowing why; to seeing that I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me harshly, to really looking around when I was out to see if everyone was indeed looking at me; to seeing that most people are concerned with their own lives and weren't too interested in me; to laughing (gently) at myself for being a bit narcissistic in thinking I was at the centre of the universe for everyone. 

What CBT didn't help with was all the feelings stuffed away from childhood trauma - too many intense emotions to ever process just by changing what I think.  What made me think I was being (and deserved to be) judged harshly in the first place?  Well my parents.  They actually did judge me harshly on a daily basis and it devastated me and that was a tough bit of stored trauma to get through.  The only way through that was to feel it. 

It seems to be that therapy which address both thinking and feeling are what is needed in the case of CPTSD.  This is quite different from some zealous CBT proponents who suggest you can deal with the trauma just by changing how you think about it (Byron Katie).  Doesn't seem to work that way although it's an appealing thought for some.

Hope this makes sense and helps 

A big warm welcome back Butterfly, I've missed you 

Just wanted to mention that it's three months since my knee surgery and I often have to lay down in the afternoon and take a nap so you're in good company.  (I'm off pain meds now too.)  My surgeon kindly reminded me at our last appt when I complained about still being tired that it takes many months to heal completely and to listen to my body because it is still working on repairs.

So my two cents?  If your body wants to might as well give in and enjoy it. 

Perhaps you simply weren't quite ready in that moment (i.e., so the conditions were actually not right)?  It is as you say one of the most important conversations you will have in your life and that takes some gearing up for and dare I say some control over the moment the conversation begins.  Would it help (and give you both a measure of control) if together you chose a time to talk? 

Feel free to add if you come across anything relevant/useful!

It's on the list to do kda as I agree that would be helpful.  Unfortunately we are short on volunteers and I only have so much time.  If at some point you (or anyone) want to volunteer for a project like that please do PM me.  No pressure on anyone to do so mind you, the first priority is always recovery. 

I'll just say sorry for making a mistake regarding the rules.  I thought I was doing what we were supposed to, but apparently not!  I'll take more care in the future.  I'll shut up about that now.

Welcome back Meursault and please know that you did nothing wrong, it was the guideline that was not overly clear and things got out of hand in terms of moderating.  That has been addressed and we are going to revisit the offensive language guideline as a community once a bit more time has passed and see if we can decide collectively what it should look like.  I hope you'll weigh in! 

Moving forward today though, I am sending you many and lots of support, not a great week or two for you, but hopefully it will bring some small measure of comfort to know you were missed and members were thinking about you.

[Americans with Disabilities Act]

Americans with Disabilities Act
Accommodation and Compliance Series: Employees with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
http://askjan.org/media/ptsd.html and download pdf here - http://askjan.org/media/downloads/PTSDA&CSeries.pdf

Job Accommodation Network
Toll Free: (800)526-7234; TTY: (877)781-9403; Fax: (304)293-5407
jan@AskJAN.org; http://askjan.org

The Job Accommodation Network (JAN) is a free consulting service that provides information about job accommodations, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and the employability of people with disabilities.

Office of Disability Employment Policy
Toll Free: (866)633-7365; TTY: (877)889-5627; Fax: (202)693-7888
http://www.dol.gov/odep/

The Office of Disability Employment Policy (ODEP) is an agency within the U.S. Department of Labor. ODEP provides national leadership to increase employment opportunities for adults and youth with disabilities while striving to eliminate barriers to employment.

Wow MFTB, tks for all the links!      I am also Canadian  (  fellow Canuck), and came up with a few too so am going to amalgamate them in the sticky above.

Edited to add:  Nope, it's going to get too big if I try and put it all in one sticky so I'll see if I can figure out another way to do this. 

A new member just posted about problems with getting his employer to put in place accommodations and I realized we don't have much info at all about this, partly because we are from different countries, but also because few of us have any knowledge/ experience to draw on.

I've started this thread in the hopes that we can gather some links to info about what is an important issue for so many of us. If you do have a link, please add it below and note the country (and state, province, etc) it pertains to please and I will add it to this sticky so that hopefully we can build a helpful list over time.   

• Australia
• Canada
• United Kingdom
• United States