Interesting thread, narc kiddo and others! This resonated with me so I thought I'd share. I knew with your TW it might be humorous, and hairballs did not disappoint!
Touch for me is a nuanced topic, and I think for th most part it is the 'expectation' that makes it repulsive for me. First, my NMom who was physically abusive, a,ongst other types..fear-inducing and not loving, then around people she would put on a display of hugging me. Then, her hugs are the creepy, too clingy, too long type of hugs that make your skin crawl.
My enabling dad's hugs had that lingering too long, and somehow slightly sexual in innuendo. Like his hand would be a little too low or high. Whatever the case, I never got the sense from my parents that hugs were a comforting, comfortable or endearing thing. They were sort of a creepy requirement, mostly for show around other people.
That said, I'm OK with hugs from certain people. I can tell the type of people who have a healthy way of interacting and hugging, and that's fine.
Just with basic touch, though, I am more sensitive than the common person. I don't like people touching my hair, especially. Don't like people who walk up and get all touchy-feely and if you poke me for any reason, I will likely come unglued internally when I say something like, please don't do that most people make a comment like I'm too sensitive or a cold or they were just being friendly. Maybe I don't have a sense for what, but I do know that I don't like.
Touch for me is a nuanced topic, and I think for th most part it is the 'expectation' that makes it repulsive for me. First, my NMom who was physically abusive, a,ongst other types..fear-inducing and not loving, then around people she would put on a display of hugging me. Then, her hugs are the creepy, too clingy, too long type of hugs that make your skin crawl.
My enabling dad's hugs had that lingering too long, and somehow slightly sexual in innuendo. Like his hand would be a little too low or high. Whatever the case, I never got the sense from my parents that hugs were a comforting, comfortable or endearing thing. They were sort of a creepy requirement, mostly for show around other people.
That said, I'm OK with hugs from certain people. I can tell the type of people who have a healthy way of interacting and hugging, and that's fine.
Just with basic touch, though, I am more sensitive than the common person. I don't like people touching my hair, especially. Don't like people who walk up and get all touchy-feely and if you poke me for any reason, I will likely come unglued internally when I say something like, please don't do that most people make a comment like I'm too sensitive or a cold or they were just being friendly. Maybe I don't have a sense for what, but I do know that I don't like.