Topics

Hello lovelies,

I've experienced a lot of comfort in discovering this forum and I always love to express how much I appreciate the support I've received from the people on here.
I'm honestly proud of and inspired by everyone on here.
I see a lot of people sharing some very difficult things including self-reflection on how we might treat others because of the things we've been through. That's not an easy thing to do.
What a strong thing. Truly.

So, I think it's important to share when we're having good days too. To remind each other that the good days still can and will happen even after the darkest - most suffocating nights.
I wanted to share my good day with you in hopes that you won't forget that you still and will have good days as well.
I'm on deployment, but we're so close to home I can see the light at the end of the very long tunnel. I was terrified to come back out here because of the things that I went through last time. I had a full-blown breakdown and needed an emergency therapy appointment before we came back out here. I begged the universe to get me out of it somehow because anxiety and panic were wreaking havoc on my body and my soul was so tired.
But here I am. At the end of it. I faced it. I made it through (even though some very triggering things happened while we were out here). I made it.
And I actually found moments to enjoy while out here - who would have thought?

If I made it through something I thought I'd never be able to mentally survive, you can definitely make it through today. Because the good days happen. I promise they do.
Even if the most you can do for yourself today is take a shower and treat yourself to something small you enjoy like a cup of tea, or building a puzzle, or reading a few pages of a good book - something that makes you feel happy/at peace - that in and of itself is a victory. That's huge. Love yourself. It's okay to do that. We forget to do that's sometimes, but we're allowed. 

What does a good day look/feel like/mean to you?

First and foremost - thank you for welcoming me so warmly to this forum.
I'm still fairly new and it's quite a relief finding somewhere I feel that I belong and can be understood without harsh judgment.
I post in the Development in Adulthood portion because although I have some traumatic childhood experiences that lead to where I am now - I feel as though the trauma that I experienced in my adulthood is what really set all of what I go through and feel each day is what set it all in concrete.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. If I don't believe that, then everything that I have seen and been through would have been for nothing.
I struggle daily with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, fluctuating sleep patterns, crying-spells, dissociation, etc. And on occasion - because of these things - I tend to experience depression (especially when a triggering event happens.)
Recently, I fought my way out of a deep depression after losing someone very important to me in my life and had just begun to be some sort of semblance of myself again. I was truly enjoying things in life and feeling incredibly positive.

And then it happened.
What happened to me in my adulthood happened to a girl younger than I am that I know. And she has confided in me. She reaches out to me when she is feeling the way that I sometimes do because I made sure she knew that I am a safe place and that I understand what she might be going through.
I truly believe that helping others helps me. That I went through these things to help other people when they go through them because I made it out alive and I didn't lose myself entirely.
However, it also has me experiencing major setbacks. Making my whole body hurt. And making me sick.
But I cannot and will not turn my back on her because I know that in my times of need I wanted someone to be there for me.
I'm not really sure where I am going with this or what I'm expecting by sharing it.
Maybe it's because I can't talk about it where I am because 'I'm not supposed to know about it' and I just need someone to listen.

Anyway, thank you again for the warm welcome. I just need strength. ♥